Sam ¿
@melancholygoal
Followers
468
Following
144
Media
865
Statuses
8,503
i’m girl sam, budlight enthusiast, shower beer founder, height elitist, mom that works too hard | 🇮🇹🇲🇦
Joined February 2015
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Pinned Tweet
sorry i don’t have daddy issues, i have something much worse .. mommy issues
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now what the fuck would possess a man to ruin a conversation this fast
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forgot where i put my beer to take a shower so i grabbed another one- two shower beers
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@EbonyJackin
oh my goodness since 97 ? was he surprised by anything when he got out ? my big brother was in from 95-2015 he was amazed by smartphones and at home internet haha
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@bizzedmypants
i’ll never forget when they stopped selling them and on a road trip i stopped in rural west virginia and they had them- i’ve never felt more sweet relief in my entire life
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if u thought the hinge thing was bad may i present to u- horny tattoo artist
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@realBoneDuck
dude said he was disappointed in himself bc he woke up on his front lawn .. ok pal
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yall fucking ruin everything, can’t even b h0rny on main during h0rny hours
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hey fellas i’m going on a coffee “date” i’m crying bc all i can think abt is everything my ex said he hated abt me n i am terrified
can someone tell me if these skinny jeans look okay bc im abt to lose my mind
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@RealOneKi
@bklynnATL
if you feel resistance or like you’re “banging on a closed door” you’re hitting it and it hurts
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🤭
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w glasses
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look at this cute pic of me i found from my first couple weeks at my job 🥹
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@ONarvo
@Eternindigmom
@RAGGEDYROYAL
this looks like when you put your hair up in a bun/ponytail and that one strand has so much tension for no reason feels like,,, just pain
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me after getting called mexican for the millionth time
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6 beers deep n i just crushed 10 lemon pepper wings, life is suddenly worth living
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WHY R THE TOILETS AT WORK SO HIGH IM CRYING 😭😭 my feet dangling while i pee
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anyways here’s a pic of me flexing my ass so hard i thought i was gonna shit
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dropped off my plates today- i’m officially legally free from my sons dad !! (besides the fact we have a kid together)
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me n my dad <333
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last pic of urself (i hate this one but this is after i got the job :3 plus no green)
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@TheFoxMatriarch
it’s literally to wait for a wound the size of a dinner plate to heal. having sex during this time can cause infection or hemorrhages which both can result in death. men that pressure women to have sex after birth do not actually care abt their partners. i cant believe the replys
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this is what i looked like after the gym today if you even cared
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i’m making a new cowboy hat for no other purpose than to look sick af at the bar
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me vs the character i think i am
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this is what i got done so far if u even care
idk if yall r interested in my art but here’s a lil WIP that i’ll probably never finish
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bro is getting cucked by his gf and is taking it out on other women
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follower count going down just means the weak are separating themselves from the strong
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idk if yall r interested in my art but here’s a lil WIP that i’ll probably never finish
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this is what watching the L word in high school use to do to me
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my daddy built this whole chicken coop in 24 hours bc he found some free wood on the side of the road :p he’s an extremely talented carpenter and can build anything
People never brag about their fathers following his dreams and finding happiness in his hobbies. Only praise for paying bills and dying slowly.
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if u don’t wanna b called a gay retard then don’t b a gay retard
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i just ate 2lbs of snow crab n only had to use one epipen LFGGGGGGGG
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you’re right bro i’m massive
If you ate thanksgiving leftovers for breakfast today you big as fuck
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@justbeingmell
@KameronBennett
THAT PART. also she absolutely should be demanding stuff at the beginning- that sets the tone for the rest of the relationship ♡ SET THE BAR HIGH and if they don’t meet it/ if you don’t want to meet it ➡️🚪
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