biz
@bizzedmypants
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Absolutely hate to admit this, but I haven’t felt fly like a G6 in a long time.
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When my mom found my juul back in ‘18.
The Chernobyl disaster happened 38 years ago today, has there been a worse event since?
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Watching the little DoorDash car get closer to my house after I order Taco Bell blackout drunk at 3am
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Hope these 500k homes have good insurance because I’m putting a ball through a window
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My car does this after I have 13 beers.
Mercedes showing off their 360 turn feature in the new electric G Wagon.
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Built like this btw.
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Define “you HAD to be there to experience it”.
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Whisky dick.
What is the scariest illness or genetic disease that humans can get?
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Scheduling 5 “you up” texts for a Saturday at 2:30am.
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How does this always happen
Never ever drinking again 👍🏼.
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Whatever Tate McRae’s version of a swifties is that’s what I am.
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the sluttiest thing a man can do is post a picture of himself on twitter.
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If you are a) a woman, and b) can do this, plz dm me ASAP.
Waste Management Open Week is arguably the best week of the year on the tour
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Hungover as piss but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m a 6’4 playmaking center
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I thought being 6’4 and funny was enough but apparently girls cut the line at being medium ugly.
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Thanks
Tomato soup and grilled cheese tonight 👍🏼.
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Are these socially acceptable for a man to wear, or should I stick to the OG ones
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Texting my ex “happy valentines day” immediately followed up with a “whoops, sorry wrong person” text.
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Not posting this for sympathy or attention, but to show how quick things can take a turn in life. Call your parents, your grandparents, your siblings… have a chat with them, don’t take having them around for granted because you never know when that opportunity will be gone
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Got the answer I needed
Can’t wait to see her bracket tomorrow and ask why she picked the teams she did.
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Yea it honestly doesn’t look the best but it tasted damn good still
Chili for dinner today is a good day 🕺🏻.
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You’re in her DMs, I’m probably still figuring out what to dm her in the first place.
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Might be one of my new favorite dishes. I mean cmon man, simple but effective
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Beer, tacos, hockey, formula One… this honkey ass white boy is having a good Sunday
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6’4, playmaker, center, one concussion away from not being able to function normal anymore… who want me?
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Star Wars opening credits scene.
katy perry wearing a 200 yard long dress with the lyrics of her new single “woman’s world”!.
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BREAKING: Biz has acquired a recipe to make snickerdoodle bread. Some analysts are calling him “gay” and “not a man”, but I say he’s a goddamn good baker
Big rumblings out of Biz’s kitchen this afternoon. Stay tuned for more info.
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Things I’m thankful for on this Thanksgiving: . 1. Friends and family .2. All of you .3. Beer and whiskey .4. Jordan Love.5. Drunk cigs .6. Bacon egg and cheese bagels .7. Ass.8. Being in a legal betting state .9. Coffee while hungover .10. The beautiful city of Chicago.
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Do I keep posting the same food? Yes. Is it delicious every time? Yes. Who wants me? Someone please.
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Bing bong!
I think it’s almost blackstone weather. Might break that bad boy out this weekend and whip up something good.
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Brother wanted shrimp stir fry while he’s home so we’re making shrimp stir fry
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Girls complain about guys finishing in three strokes… that’s literally a birdie, you should be happy for me.
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When she tells me they’re pierced but I lowkey fuck with the taste of Pennies (I’m autistic)
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I wasn’t kidding when I said that family of 5 should’ve moved out of my way
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You’re paying for her nails, I’m paying for her ozempic, we aren’t the same.
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“Coming up with a username is so hard”
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