mychart wrapped

don’t mean to sound like a sickly victorian woman riddled with consumption but i do feel like a little trip to the seaside would fix me

madison is such a beautiful name for a square garden

she's a 10 but has social anxiety and likes to read books rather than talking to people

Meryl Streep could save Gotham but Bruce Wayne couldn't sing Chiquitita

the thing that’s hardest for me about adulthood for some reason is coming up with meals 3 times a day like oh my god, I’m so sick of it!! why do I have to feed myself I need a private chef

love coastal grandmothers. but coastal aunts? we’re casting spells, we’re making midnight margaritas, we’re meddling in peoples’ love lives, we’re dancing naked under the full moon, we’re eating chocolate cake for breakfast, we’re dooming men to death for falling in love with us

I asked a group of 6 year olds if they wanted to get something off their chest. They did. A THREAD

Just took my daughter to her Kindergarten orientation & we had to show a vaccine passport for her admission. Let that sink in. The Govt is forcing kids to show vaccine passports. Wait...wait my wife is telling me this has been going on for a century & is how we eradicated polio.

The OSU/A&M Board of Regents have selected Dr. Kayse Shrum as the next president of Oklahoma State University. #okstate president designee Dr. Shrum will also be the first woman to lead a public research institution in Oklahoma history. 🔸 https://t.co/KBh3hDlxNY

“Nature’s Cereal” girl if you don’t go to hell.

jennifer lopez in me in her fifties my twenties

I had a student one year who asked me what color I was when I was born. I answered “I was white” and she said “I was blue” then skipped off like nothing happened.

last year was my first bachelor season and this year is my first bachelorette and I personally feel im going to like the bachelorette better bc one of my favorite hobbies is judging men

Anyway I’ve been laughing at this for two days

Why every US President sucks, a thread: