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@kourtneyinhell

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figment of your imagination (@kourtneyinhell2)

Joined February 2020
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@kourtneyinhell
K
5 hours
RT @parax_342: hamas evilly kills former babies, while the heroic IDF targets only future adults.
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@kourtneyinhell
K
7 hours
they're are at a Bill O'Reilly FUCK IT! show them the aliens! level of frustration.
@rawsalerts
R A W S A L E R T S
11 hours
🚨#BREAKING: Congressman Frost is claiming that the White House is preparing to release concrete evidence of extraterrestrial life.
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@kourtneyinhell
K
7 hours
omg i wish i was her so bad.
@catshealdeprsn
cats with threatening auras
10 hours
My slutty cat. This is Margaret Scratcher. I came into my office and found her like this. I don’t even know where to begin or what kind of talk we need to have.
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@kourtneyinhell
K
9 hours
oh look that lady named her kid Aquaman. thank god, for a minute i thought everything was fake and nothing mattered anymore haha.
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@kourtneyinhell
K
10 hours
sure. why not.
@TrishCrave
TrishCrave
2 days
Trisha Paytas and Moses Hacmon welcome their first baby boy, Aquaman Paytas-Hacmon.
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@kourtneyinhell
K
10 hours
been reading a lot of r/ParallelUniverse lately and everyone on there is for sure schizophrenic, however i'm choosing to believe them bc it makes me feel better than "this is how the world is, people are naturally evil". like no, we obviously jumped timelines after Harambe died.
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@kourtneyinhell
K
11 hours
not my chair not my problem that’s what I say
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for the record i said "you would look really silly" and changed the subject.
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hey gronk how do i explain the concept of decapitation to my 3 year old.
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at gymnastics waiting for 6yo to finish practice, surrounded by other parents. everyone quiet. Out of nowhere and in the loudest voice she could possibly muster, my 3yo says "Mommy? what happens if you don't have a head?".
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It’s very funny how many of you even replied to this in your Forrest Gump accents. it’s like u can’t even help yourselves.
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my husband watched Forrest Gump last night so you can imagine how many times i've heard his Forrest Gump impression today.
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does anyone have tips on how to not spend $526 while online shopping.
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in my slippers
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My whole family made s’mores over the fire pit in the backyard while I stayed inside and made a s’more in the toaster oven.
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@kathcor3
bartleby the girl boss 💅🏻
7 days
chill.
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3yo helping fold laundry, just picked up my husband’s t-shirt out of the basket and said “oooooo here’s a nice sheet!”.
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@PopBase
Pop Base
7 days
Twitter was launched 19 years ago. What is your favorite tweet ever?
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Yeah for instance if your perspective is “strangers are normal and smart”.
@doonasum
𐙚
7 days
i actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective and you never see them again.
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