When he finally dies, I am calling out of work & doing daytime cocaine.

RT @high_yoursupply: Not Justin Trudeau making her remote butt plug vibrate 😭.

RT @davidgross_man: You laugh, but Zohran Mamdani and his wife are in this pool, taking up space that could have been used by a homeless mo….

RT @LordeCali: The oatmeal:

RT @yolandafister: that nun is in heaven praying the rosary backwards at 2x speed.

RT @tamrajudgyeyes: Don’t clock that tea, tea that clock.

RT @islandthembo: 9/11 trade….

RT @factsandfire: Ohhh and SGT Deale you should go head and get ready to WRAP IT UP 🤭 you about to lose that pension hoe.

RT @factsandfire: You forgot to say you dropped the charges. You forgot to say y’all pepper sprayed me and threw me to the ground for a 50….

RT @hasanthehun: its so wild how much we let nazi shit like this run in newspapers. what do you mean you're afraid of the word gaza? this i….

Just set my 7:30 alarm for work for the first time in 2 weeks.

My nephew is playing his first ever football game so I’m here to support even though I think football is boring & confusing. I just remembered football games can last 32 hours. He better enjoy my presence now bc I’m never doing this again.

RT @divacelestina: If you’re putting up halloween decorations in august, i dont wanna hear NOTHING if i put up my christmas tree on Nov 1.

On one hand this is insane, but on the other hand I get it. I don’t eat meat, but protein add-on charges are crazy. $15 to add a few shreds of a grilled chicken breast to a salad??? Go to hell.

One of the more childish things about me is that I will always giggle and kick my feet if I catch wind that a bitch I don’t like has gotten uglier since I stopped being their friend.

My nephew strayed from God & decided to do an activity that’s not in The Arts™️ so now I have to go watch a fucking football game later today. 😭.

RT @GoodVibePolitik: My poor child had his Hitler camp disrupted by a paraglider :(.

RT @ClimateBen:

RT @halaljew: Why should anyone care about what American Jews are and aren’t afraid of at this point? There’s no level of coddling that wil….

RT @lukeisamazing: that’s right

RT @Scoobydouchebag: Me and the homies are gonna slice hot peppers without gloves and then touch each other's peeholes later if you wanna c….