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Hey @meta and @facebook. My account was hacked. They changed the email, phone number and two factor authentication. All my attempts to reset the account go to the hacker. None of your online services are helping. What can be done?

Can’t wait!

This new special from @mrseanpatton is killer from start to finish. You really need to go watch it.

Amazing World Cup final. So happy to see Messi get this.

🇦🇷

Wow. #WorldCup

Here is the teaser for my new movie #TheMchine https://t.co/xkdf0ZNgW1

I don’t know what is wrong with Twitter right now. I have the same 53 followers as I did before @elonmusk bought the company. Why didn’t I get new followers?

The amount of willpower it must have taken for @chrisrock to not say “Jada, Jada, Jada” after Will Smith told him to keep her name out of his mouth…twice. That has to be every comic’s first instinct, right?

This is @DaveWComedy in an alternate universe where he never tried standup and never left Florida.

Someone should check and see if Zuck bought a bunch of Sweet Baby Rays stock before this whole thing started.

Why they gotta have Ohtani as an anime? #AllStarGame

I think @alexstonecomedy deserves a standing O for his solo performance on @Localnewspod today. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Preorder has arrived! I haven’t been this excited for a book or audio book release since Harry Potter when I was a kid. Can’t wait to hear @bertkreischer attempt to read. I’m already assuming @marcmaron is going to play the main character in my head. Congrats @TallentSam

Watching woke Twitter trying to cancel Bill Burr has me thinking of this gem from 1965.

Ok. That was a good national anthem. #SuperBowl

I wouldn’t be surprised if @realDonaldTrump refused to pardon a turkey this year and instead had it prepared deep fried right on the @WhiteHouse lawn.

Saw #uncrustables trending and immediately just assumed that @bertkreischer was responsible.

Any chance that what Thom Brennaman said was the punchline of a killer joke?