big umami milkers
@jaxdellosso
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Writer | Comedian | Chef #blacklivesmatter #translivesmatter Proud intersectional feminist 🏳️🌈Founder: @bbrcomedyfest
Brooklyn, NY
Joined February 2014
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Pinned Tweet
My body type is “home wrecker” but my personality type is “homemaker”
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Bad news: my period is 9 days late. Good news: the last dude I fucked was an NFL player
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Fuck Hinge. Give me unhinged. An app full of people who could just snap at any moment
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Lmao at all the men legitimately mad in the comments at a fucking joke. Bout to post a photo of my super soaked maxi pad
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So many men in this thread seem to have very personal issues with women. Therapy is now affordable and accessible to all with
@betterhelp
! So sorry your moms didn’t love you. Please seek the help you need and learn to spot a joke for the love of god
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If you PayPal me $5000 I’ll let you hunt me like a deer through New York for 24 hours
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@RyanDudar
@mariokartdwi
One time a woman charged me $150 for leaving a single dirty spoon in the sink
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“Eat the rich,” she tweets, as she ignores a call from her parents, who pay for her $2900/mo studio apartment in Williamsburg.
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2 years ago I was assaulted. A police officer offered to give me his work cell “in case the person returned to my home.” Later that night, he had asked me out for hookah on Instagram. I was freaked out but nice to him because 1) he has a gun 2) he knew where I lived
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Breonna Taylor’s murderers still walk free. Please sign the petition below. We demand
#JusticeForBreonnaTaylor
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Another thing: I do not intend to hide or disappear. I have no plans on going off the grid. If I disappear, I’m gone forever. I urge my friends to try and meet up with me and if you do not see me in person— If I never show up—I’m gone.
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m*n will be like “confidence is sexy” then slowly chip away at your confidence til they no longer want to fuck you anymore
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He was fucking poisoning me when I was pregnant. I never thought to get a tox report because I assumed it was morning sickness but I was throwing up blood and could barely stand. I lost 30 lbs in a single month
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Last night a man got his face stomped in outside of a bar and as he was bleeding to death in the street, a Bushwick hipster stopped me mid 911 call to tell me I should have asked for consent to call an ambulance in case he can’t afford it.
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If I see more “aCtUaLLy (insert concerningly well researched stat about NFL players finances after retirement) sO gOoD lUcK WiTh ThAt”
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My hair was falling out, I was weak, confused, everything hurt all the time to the point I couldn’t walk and was bed ridden for MONTHS. He would bring me water and cook for me. He fucking poisoned me. He smiled when the doctor said there was no heartbeat.
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I just want to reiterate how useless the police are in protecting women and children. It feels very much like the system is designed to protect the predators. The world is a sad place.
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When I was 19 I dated a guy named Chris who wore these shoes every day without socks and he told me he wasn’t attracted to me because I was getting too fat.
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I’ve not been active on social media for almost two years. It’s not because I didn’t want to. I was being controlled, gaslit, drugged, strangled, raped on a daily basis. I met my ex boyfriend when I got out of the mental hospital for attempting suicide in October 2021.
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@uspellCoUrTNey
Take magnesium citrate before bed and you will wake up whether you like it or not
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I beg everyone who cares about me to please save my tweets because they could disappear at any time. I could as well.
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Warning to the queer community: he is very violent and targets young trans people. Please spread the word to look out for this man on all dating and hookup apps
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They are wiping these women off the face of the planet. They are stealing their identities. No one will listen. No one will help. No one will even simply try to do a wellness check. I’ve tried everything. I’ve told local law enforcement. I called the FBI. No one will listen.
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This is the amount of hair that’s been falling out of my head when I shower. These photos show various degrees of swelling and atrophy. Pic 1 shows my bottom lip literally spilling out from inside my mouth. I did not even know I was documenting my abuse
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I wanna travel with someone I want to fuck nonstop. Like, full year of traveling and fuckin. I wanna get banged at the top of the tour Eiffel while eating a flaky croissant. I want to be fingered in the Caribbean Sea. I want to be eaten out in Dubai and beheaded for my crimes
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Imagine spending 9 grueling months pregnant w twins and then they grow up to be this
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I missed bi visibility day bc I was too busy being a chef. But here you go.
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ITS NOT A DAMN LABOR SHORTAGE ITS A WAGE CRISIS BABY
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This man is works with my ex at Isabelle’s in Union square. Chris is his boss. He’s a convicted pedophile.
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@NewYorkFBI
possible missing person. No one has seen or heard from either of his exes ever again and you cannot find them online. Please investigate! No one cares!
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Chris had an ex who he would always tell me just disappeared. They dated for a year and he said he didn’t remember her last name. They lived in the same apt. He always called her Christine. She was Indonesian. Someone looked up this number and the name is very similar
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I spend hours using my brain to write jokes for this website but it’s the cum memes that do numbers.
Follow me on Instagram
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He would accidentally send me messages meant for other people all the time. He gaslit me and i fawned like a pathetic loser. I cannot believe I was so sick and blind. I can’t believe I let him do this to me. I feel like this is all my fault
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He pulled out my real name. He brought up that night I got assaulted. It’s the cop from the precinct. When I tell you I am SICK TO MY STOMACH about this— I don’t even have words. I walked in with a bruised and bloodied face and this man asked me out for hookah just hours later
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Please help
@NewYorkFBI
. The restaurant group operates under many different names and pays their checks from a bunch of shell companies. Branded restaurants is the group. Please please please help they are HURTING PEOPLE
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Holy fucking shit the number is GONE. You can no longer locate who it is registered to. His ex Anna Dominique Bautista also had a white pages listing with her showing an address in queens that is no longer available.
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@Sabrinafon
I once went on a single date with a 38 year old man who earnestly believed women peed out of their vaginas
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Cops won’t help me. NYU langone hospital refused to give me a physical checkup when I went in complaining of strangling and rape injuries. I don’t know what to do please someone fucking help me
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And put his foot on my back and pulled as hard as he could. The blackouts affected my memory but the memories have come back. I can’t believe I’m going though this right now and I’m genuinely in fear for my life. If anything happens to me, just know it was him
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He has done things to me that I can’t even talk about. He destroyed my body. He atrophied my face. He strangled me until I saw a black hole surrounded by a ring of light multiple times. I’d describe this experience as death. I don’t know why I felt I deserved this treatment
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When I was in high school, there was no one I wanted to fuck more than bam margera. This is the only evidence I need to believe the age of consent should be raised to 31.
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Big titties are considered sexual, obscene. Little titties are considered art. Same goes for men. That’s why you never see a statue with a huge veiny hog
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And even 2 years later, he continues to find me on social media. What can be done about this????
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But when I looked inside they seemed sinister and dark. It contained an encrypted hard drive, passcodes, logins to weird email addresses. I called the fbi and they did not take me seriously. His ex girlfriend and daughter have not been physically seen since 2019.
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I hope that one day my parents will pay for abandoning me with nothing at age 16 and allowing me to suffer my entire life, putting myself in extremely dangerous positions to make money. Having to rely on older men for places to live. For making it so that every day of my
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@sunandavashisht
You’ve clearly never been on a magazine cover because if you were important enough to, you’d know that:
A.) you do not get to decide what you wear yourself, professional stylists do.
B.) you do not get to keep the clothes. They usually return them to the store.
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He stole my smile. He took my joy. Every time a good thing happened for me it meant more abuse. I still smiled and laughed and was with him all the time. If I ever hung out with friends or coworkers I would pay gravely. I told people at my job at bathhouse and then he
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Got me pregnant and I stupidly decided to stay. He strangled me while pregnant and I had a miscarriage. You can ask why I didn’t leave and I don’t have an answer for that. Maybe daily strangulations affected my judgement. I just didn’t see it as abuse. It’s all I knew of love.
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You can DM me for his name but his father is a heavily connected lawyer who is also a predator and I’m afraid. Chris is a predator, an abuser, a child molester. His whole family is involved in the abuse. Chris’ mother called me and we spoke for 3.5 hours and she told me of
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Find me on Instagram. It’s no twitter but there’s boobs there I guess
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@sexualjumanji
@kingkhristen
I want to meet the man who eats his entire birthday cake while everyone else watches
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This was the photo on the background of the old phone he had stashed in that box. If anyone has seen or heard from Anna Dominique Bautista or her daughter sofie (I think it’s her middle name, his whole family goes by middle names almost) please reach out. I am in fear for them
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Trafficking is a much worse problem than we think it is.
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I ended up blocking him on IG. Today one of my Snapchat followers was asking me very personal questions about my depression. I informed them that I only interact with paid onlyfans subscribers now, as it would not be fair to paid subscribers.
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For anyone confused, the cop used my phone number to find my IG account. It is why my phone number is no longer linked to my Instagram page.
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The nature of her disappearance is crazy and everything in their apartment flat out disappeared. Every single item. Chris claims she strangled him with a hoodie but as someone who has dated this person… he is the one doing these things. He has strangled me with a hoodie
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Me getting ready to poison my cheating husband with his final meal
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He threatened me often. It happened when he was really drunk/high and especially on edibles. He’d say he could “make me disappear like the others” “feed you to the pigs like the rest of them.” He told me he wanted to kill somebody with him and when I laughed thinking it was
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I wish I was more mentally healthy and saw these red flags earlier. I wish that I loved myself more. I keep dating abusive men and I never knew why until I did intense therapy that finally brought back my missing childhood. I remembered so much and it made all of my present
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The only thing that could possibly make America great is putting the cocaine back in Coca Cola
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To add, he is a domestic violence officer and he was the only DV officer in the building at the time.
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I fucking found this on an Experian report. I’ve seen this man a million times. I recognized his mugshot right away.
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signs of trauma” like what? You won’t even try? Incompetence or purposeful protection of predators?
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The lifetime of abuse their children endured. I ask why she didn’t do anything to get away but I realize she was a victim as well.
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It should not be up to a hospital to determine whether or not someone gets physical care. The only thing they’d do for me is get me a social worker. They told me it’s “pointless to do a pelvic exam since the last rape took place over 3 days ago and there will likely be no
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He moved within walking distance of where I was staying btw
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A joke he stared back at me dead eyed. Then he said “what? You wouldn’t like that?” When I brought these things up while sober, he told me to stop being dramatic and that he was just high/drunk. He also frequently would speak of young girls and alluded to things I’d rather not
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Decisions make so much sense. I only knew violence as love. I never didn’t have a creepy man controlling my every move. It’s sick. It’s sad. I feel physically ill thinking about it. I found a box my ex had with what seemed like random objects
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What the fuck is it with men asking if I’m funny when they find out I do comedy? I didn’t ask you if you’re good at your beep boop bop, type on a computer in a fucking cube, fluorescent lighting, “who ate my yogurt?”, “FRIDAY WE CAN WEAR JEANS”, job DID I?
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Talk about. Once again, as someone who has been doing a lot of therapy and self care lately (being unemployed has given me time to be alone, which I never got before.) he was extremely controlling. He was very creepy to his nieces and nephews and my little sister. He kept
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She apparently has had correspondence via phone and email with lawyers but she has never made it to court and the only evidence of her existence is a Venmo passing huge amounts of money back and forth to random people (as reported by Chris mother). I fear they’ve been hurt
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No I’m not over it. I’m not over any of it and I never will be
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Devin and Stephanie. I can’t use full names on here but I’ll be happy to message. Devin and Stephanie’s baby has been exhibiting signs of abuse for a long time. When I watched him for a few hours while they went to dinner, the child had horrible diarrhea and his face was flushed
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His sister and her boyfriend, Chris’ best friend, have borrowed my car multiple times and when I got it back last time, my Bluetooth and gps no longer worked. My check engine light and brake lights went on and off. My drivers side door lock stopped operating with the key
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Im in my 30s and don’t expect shit from them now, as I haven’t for my whole life, but it’s to the point I actively wish unhappiness on them. People get more upset at people buying a puppy and leaving it at a shelter than they do at parents for having kids and abandoning them.
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Giving her alcohol at my brothers wedding and staring at her for extended periods of time like he does with a lot of young kids. She told me later how creeped out he made her. That night, he disappeared for a huge chunk of time and could not account for it.
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Someone tried to open a line of credit in my name for Xbox which means someone has my social security number. My identity has been stolen. If anyone knows what I should do please tell me.
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It’s almost like our “founding fathers” specifically designed a country to keep people like them in charge. Wouldn’t it be crazy if the rich dudes who originally stole this country made it so that rich people would always rule it? Wouldn’t that just be so hard to believe? Wow
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Because I do not think I’ll have an opportunity to again. Please help. Please
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it’s hard being a genius with massive milkmaid tits
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I was worried and texted her asking what’s going on. Her response was concerning. She discusses sexual situations involving her children in every single conversation we had. I asked her to please stop bringing up her 13 yo watching porn. I need to get this out
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