Charles Bramesco
@intothecrevasse
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film and TV critic / @guardian @vulture @lwlies / COLORS OF FILM: THE STORY OF CINEMA IN 50 PALETTES on shelves now / it's me, it's really me
Crown Heights, BK, NY
Joined February 2010
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Happy pubday to me, my handsome son COLORS OF FILM: THE STORY OF CINEMA IN 50 PALETTES is out in the US today. Writing it transformed how I watch and think about movies, and I hope reading it can do the same. On sale here () or wherever fine books are sold!
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I have exciting news about the first sixty years of filmmaking
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I hereby challenge Netflix to release the pausing and rewinding data for this title
‘NO HARD FEELINGS’ starring Jennifer Lawrence will be released on Netflix on September 23.
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Probably not a great sign that Mark Wahlberg is getting back into things he did as a teen
Mark Wahlberg returns to grocery store where he worked as a teen for just $3.65 an hour
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Still regularly thinking about this when I feel like I need a good laugh
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I had not realized until right now that Sandra Hüller's Oscar campaign was probably a lot of people's first time seeing a German person
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No idea how this is supposed to work in America, where the notions of 1. students getting shitfaced with their teachers in a socially sanctioned capacity, and 2. public high school teachers basically being academics, are both completely alien to our culture
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Interested in learning more about this photo and the raw sexual energy radiating off of it
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They’re giving away the game here — these cretins hate art because they’re jealous of the people with the creativity and intelligence to conceive it it. Mentality of the idiot who walks through a museum and claims they could do that, mistaking ability for inspiration. Baby-brains
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the seventh thing with this title to have been released in the past five years
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Deeply jealous of the 13-year-olds who'll sneak into THE NORTHMAN and go absolutely rabid and learn how to read runes and have their puberty jump-started by Anya Taylor-Joy and run around throwing tree branches at each other — ideal formative-years film, just the raddest shit
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For like a year, my dad would say “well, that wasn’t very Gangnam Style” when he’d accidentally back up onto the curb or miss an exit. Terrific bit
taught my dad what “serving cunt” means yesterday. i realized i created a monster when he started saying “that was NOT serving cunt” every time somebody on his sports team did something wrong
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Walking up to the cashier and yelling "DICK WOLF NET WORTH"
Google is opening its first physical retail store this summer in NYC
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Why does no one ever talk about Kerry from Succession also having directed Wonder Woman
'Wonder Woman' director Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot are reuniting for
#Cleopatra
, a historical biopic in the works from Paramount Pictures
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Brilliant, we just need to keep casting Gal Gadot in roles that effectively utilize how terrible she is at acting
Um, that "enough champagne to fill the Nile" bit in
#DeathOnTheNile
that everyone is bagging on makes sense *in the context of the film*. At that moment, Gal Gadot is angry, scared and frustrated and putting on a fake and unconvincing brave face for those in her company.
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TOP GUN 2: it is difficult to look upon Tom Cruise, our unaging American ubermensch, without wondering if maybe, just maybe, Scientology works
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A friend kept finding pee in his toilet not from him or his fiancée, assumed it was something with the pipes. Comes home one day to find his cat sitting on the toilet, peeing directly into the bowl. They never taught the cat to do this. He’s losing his fucking mind
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Really? The part where the gears of capitalism are literally lubricated with the blood of children was too subtle for you?
Chris Evans Admits He ‘Didn’t Quite Get’ the ‘Snowpiercer’ Script — But He Always Trusted Bong Joon Ho
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This tweet is missing the "?!" at the end
Bob Marley and ‘Madame Web’ Are the Best Hopes for February Box Office
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@ERCboxoffice
That's very impressive! I assume they were made for the same amount of money and opened in the same number of theaters, otherwise there would be absolutely no point whatsoever to framing this comparison in this way
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RIP
Betty White, beloved actress and comedian, has died at the of age 99.
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I suppose this is one way to talk about a movie nominated for eight Oscars including Best Picture
"Shocking Oscar snubs for ‘Barbie’s’ Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie just prove the movie’s point," writes The Times'
@marymacTV
in her latest column. Read it now:
#Barbie
#BarbieMovie
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Today’s IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE matinee was almost as moving as the reaction of the kid next to me — laughed at every joke, visibly detested Potter, got bored with the romantic parts. His grandpa quietly, hastily explaining loan offices and bank runs. Hope he remembers it forever
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I love that in every interview with this guy — a director of feature films, as I understand — he's like, "I hate movies and will hasten their demise through any means available to me"
Joe Russo says AI will be used to “engineer storytelling” in movies.
“You could save the AI on your streaming platform. ‘I want a rom-com starring my avatar and Marilyn Monroe's avatar,’ and it renders a story with dialogue that mimics your voice.”
()
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Thinking now, as I often do, about how the Warner Bros. logo in THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON was literally made out of a bunch of CGI buttons, like loving buttons was his big thing instead of just his name
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A powerful force for disinterest, Netflix — there's a new Wes Anderson thing waiting to be watched at my earliest leisure and I'm like "eh I'll get to it when I get to it"
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I know in my mind that this actor is named Louis Cancelmi — how am I going to forget that — but in my mind he’s still yassified Jason Schwartzman
DiCaprio is characteristically excellent in Killers of the Flower Moon, but ultimately I would’ve preferred his role to have been played by this guy
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CRIMES OF THE FUTURE promo off to a rip-roaring start
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21st-century period pieces:
The Social Network
Vox Lux
The Big Short
Lady Bird
Hustlers
Uncut Gems
Red Rocket
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Growing increasingly concerned about the deteriorating integrity of images, i.e., people not knowing that this is the real one
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Annie Leibovitz: Okay, looking great, now kinda sexily angle yourself toward me...
Diane Keaton: I'm Diane Keaton!
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Surprisingly at peace with the knowledge that giving this film three out of five stars will be the thing that one day results in my untimely death
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I shouldn’t be bitchy to people getting excited about practical filmmaking, but it’s a testament to how starved for craft digital cinema has left us that people’s minds would be blown by techniques this time-tested
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Every update on this movie is funnier than the last. "Don't worry, the Barney movie will be normal" like great, keep em coming
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CRIMES OF THE FUTURE — Cronenberg, 2022
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tfw the test screening went so good
SNL writing trio Please Don't Destroy's upcoming untitled buddy comedy will no longer play theaters this summer, heading straight to Peacock instead on November 17.
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Yes, it is much easier to “relate” to chipper cartoon squirrel Leslie Knope than Liz Lemon, an all-talk progressive who genuinely means well despite her reflex to indulge laziness, pettiness, rashness, meanness — you know, qualities no one real ever has to confront in themselves
This will be a controversial hot take, but the real answer is that despite being a much funnier show, to the average American, a character like Liz Lemon is much less inherently relatable than people working mundane and mostly pointless jobs out of necessity for a decade
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Wow, we found the one context in which I would ever utter the phrase “Casey Affleck innocent”
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WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A COMPUTER-ANIMATED MOVIE SET UNDERWATER AND THEN BE TERRIBLE AT DEPICTING DAPPLED LIGHT
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I've just learned that this movie, which seemed catastrophically ill-conceived to start with, was produced in cooperation with Winehouse's father — now it's not often that I describe a film as "evil," but
Sam Taylor-Johnson's Amy Winehouse biopic
#BackToBlack
, starring Marisa Abela, will open on May 10, 2024.
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@FCardamenis
“When you Google ‘Jenna Maroney,’ now I come up first, not the Jenna Maroney who electrocuted all those horses!”
“Jenna, that was you…”
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She's playing Cornholio
As if the cast of Denis Villeneuve’s “Dune: Part Two” couldn’t get any more star-studded, Anya Taylor-Joy has joined the ensemble. Variety can confirm that Taylor-Joy makes an appearance in “Dune,” playing a major character from the franchise that we won’t spoil here.…
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"unpleasant behaviors" "[him]" "cello recital" just an astonishing economy of comic writing
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What is "a consummate professional and north star of decorum, even in his most trying hour"?
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Thinking again about the time I hung out with Grimes in 2011
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RRR: it is good to be reminded every now and then that American action directors are basically banging sticks against rocks
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Fascinated by this man who’s been listening to the audio of GOOD WILL HUNTING without earphones for several blocks now
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You know that if it came out today, WB absolutely would have released it as BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT
New poster for ‘FURIOSA: A MAD MAX SAGA’ has been released.
Starring Anya Taylor-Joy & Chris Hemsworth.
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There are many different kinds of fake movie. There's Seinfeld fake ('90s, Miramaxy), 30 Rock fake (abject lowest-common-denominator swill), Difficult People fake (perilously close to being real). This is a new kind of fake I'm calling May December fake
Here is the first poster for “Mother’s Instinct,” starring Jessica Chastain and Anne Hathaway.
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You ever think about how Anya Taylor-Joy doesn’t know how to use a chair
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My deepest condolences to PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE, a largely fine movie that must now bear the burden of encapsulating Everything Wrong With Film Criticism Right Now
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How come I have imposter syndrome and Spielberg’s kid gets to believe she’s earned all she has
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Just when I thought I was done writing about UNCUT GEMS — here's 2000 words about the Light Ranger 2, the secret weapon of focus-pulling that kept Howard's haywire movements in focus without marks. Featuring cameos from Tom Cruise, Zendaya, and Kubrick:
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This is a gender-flipped repeat of the Anne Hathaway stuff in the early '10s — someone with try-hard theater kid energy wants too badly to be praised, nothing more offensive to a certain yet pretty common personality type
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All this said, I do enjoy that Chris Rock's whole thing as a filmmaker has become "I love European cinema and do not understand what makes it good"
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Up there with the funniest moments in the entire series. So much of the show is Don's deep pain from feeling like he can't be seen or understood by the women in his life, but when it happens this time he's just like "oh for the love of christ"
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Catastrophic downgrade from the Japanese-release title HOW DO YOU LIVE?
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When are they going to find the time for clinical trials of semi-alcoholism between grading standardized tests and their second jobs
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I guess I'm just surprised that EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE is the movie that's made Daniel Scheinert an Oscar darling, and not the one about the guy who gets fucked by a horse so hard he dies
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We have Johnny Knoxville. We have Steve-O. We have Wee-Man, brilliantly played by Jason Acuña. We have Preston Lacy. We have Danger Ehren. We have all these characters
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I hear BABYLON is a hyperindulgent maximalist extravaganza about the dissonance between the carnivorous, broken system that creates movies and the transformative wonder they nonetheless make us feel — sounds a lot like the single greatest American film of the 2000s, SPEED RACER
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Hardest-to-watch moment was Roman dropping the denial for Gerri, the only person to whom he’s willing to be genuine and vulnerable, and her denying him even one shred of sympathy. Bruising shit!
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It worked, everyone — Hulu just issued a press release stating that “we’ve noticed the outpouring of love for 30 Rock on Twitter, and we’re putting the blackface ones back”
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A noteworthy line in Lynn Shelton’s extensive directorial CV: the MAD MEN episode “Hands and Knees,” the one in which Joan goes for an abortion, a scene directed to sheer perfection. Sensitivity and confidence behind the camera.
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@DonaldJTrumpJr
Honest mistake, buddy. I used to think it was Lauren Order! Perfectly understandable slip-up for a nine year old to make— wait you're HOW MANY YEARS OLD JESUS CHRIST YOU STUPID OILY-HEADED MOTHERFUCKER
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That’s none of our business, frankly, and that’s what makes it art
Dario Argento doesn't give a fucking shit where all this red lighting is coming from
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I think if most filmmakers knew how much it hurts me to watch the thing that they made, they would second guess the way they are making these films
“I think if most critics knew how much it hurts the people that made the things that they are writing about, they would second guess the way they write these things.”
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SALTBURN: I must say, hysterical to literally be named “Emerald Fennell” and make a movie about how the middle class are conniving evil freaks intensely covetous of your wealth and social status
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What if, as his final and greatest tribute to the film medium that's given him so much, Martin Scorsese bankrupted Netflix
Martin Scorsese’s
#TheIrishman
Is Getting Way More Expensive: Budget Now Estimated Over $140 Million
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HOUSE OF GUCCI: unbelievable that we never see anyone do coke, not even once, in this movie’s one thousand hours
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I assumed a Harvard course on Taylor Swift would be about like contract law and Obama and corporate feminism and the evolution of the pop apparatus, but this suggests it’s more along the lines of how much she rules? Is it just reading her lyrics as poetry? What’re we doing here
Ok I'm doing this. Our Taylor Swift course at Harvard is so popular that we need additional teaching assistants. If you live in the Boston/Providence metro, love Tay, & have *qualifications or experience to teach a writing intensive college course,* my DMs are open.
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The frustrating thing is I -WISH- we lived in a world where this (tired, unfunny) bit was true! Imagine if every year, the Best Picture nominees really were severe arty stuff no one's seen, instead of a mix of popular middlebrow movies, feel-good pabulum, and DRIVE MY CAR
Let’s be honest, some Oscar-nominated films feel like the vegetables of movies
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A24 wilding the fuck out on this HIGH LIFE promo
This is the image obtained by EHT of M87! You are looking at the first direct image of a black hole!
#EHTBlackHole
#RealBlackHole
🌀
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Undoubtedly due to LICORICE PIZZA madness, we've turned a blind eye to MARRY ME's aspirational age gap between JLo (52) and her initial romantic opposite, Colombian pop star Maluma (28!)
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Not to be all “Paul Reubens innocent” but come on, in a big picture sense, Paul Reubens innocent. My thoughts on the embattled legacy of a misunderstood icon, whose wrongful demonization points back to today’s bad-faith culture wars:
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EX MACHINA, dir. Alex Garland, 2015
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Great movies about running errands: BAD LIEUTENANT, UNCUT GEMS, TRAINING DAY, the last third of GOODFELLAS, SUPPORT THE GIRLS, THE ERRAND BOY, what else, what else
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Watching SPEED RACER on this and instantly dying like a mosquito that’s flown into a zapper
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It's an honor just for Jared Leto not to be nominated
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Lately I’ve been thinking about which roles in movies released since the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman that he would’ve booked. Definitely something for Adam McKay, sorry to say
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The inspiring true story of one man who dared to mix iced tea with lemonade
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MAUDE APATOW: hello, I would like for the school to produce my play about how my sister’s gargantuan cans have oppressed me since girlhood, also there is a lengthy musical gay orgy
EUPHORIA HIGH PRINCIPAL: of course, take all the money you need, let’s cut debate team
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I got a call on my personal phone for my GHOSTBUSTERS 4 review and received torrents of astonishing cruelty from Abbott Elementary fans but nothing compares to this
fuck most liked tweet what was your most hated tweet. a tweet that ppl bothered u about for DAYS & sent u threats over. i probably have like 30
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At this point, may as well put this up here — GHOSTBUSTERS 4 is deeply, spiritually awful, a joyless reacharound for a fandom intent on running their graven idol into the ground:
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I have loved Little Richard since I was a child, when I knew him as “Pee-Wee’s friend who goes ice skating”
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DRIVE-AWAY DYKES (per the final title card): don't let anyone convince you this is minor Coen miscellanea. Politically puckish, funny as all get-out like the second Raising of Arizona, noticeably informed by several of my favorite movies. Ribaldry, baby, it's back (wolf howl)
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Jack Black’s gradual transformation into Orson Welles has been, for me, deeply rewarding
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