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🖤💛Bruins💛🖤 | 3 feral raccoons fighting for dominance inside a human costume | Property of Papi
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Pinned Tweet
Sophia Jurksztowicz asked the Boston Bruins what dogs they would be & all but 3 got it dead wrong.
But I’ve spent my entire life working with & otherwise surrounded by dogs, so I’m here to tell you exactly which breed each of our boys really is.
Spoiler: no golden retrievers
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If Tim Peel, PK Subban, Biz, and STEVE DANGLE recognizing the absolute lopsided shitshow this officiating has been isn’t enough to make you realize this isn’t just homerism but a serious issue, you’re a lost cause
Imagine how wrong you have to be for Steve Dangle to defend the Boston Bruins
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Why do all Panthers fans look like this
Why do all bruins fans look like total douchebags
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Bruins fans staying til the final horn of a blowout loss you gotta respect it
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Jeremy Swayman is so far inside Bissonette’s head it’s inoperable
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The depths of my love for Charlie McAvoy cannot be done justice by any language in the history of this planet
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Patty being excited about the successful delay is so wholesome
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“The B is a belief.
The B is a bond.
The B is Boston.”
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Sweet baby Jesus even Tim Peel is shaking his head
Certainly not a good look. All for tough hockey, but you just sucker punched their Captain possibly out of the series/playoffs!
#NHLBruins
#TimeToHunt
#NHLPlayoffs2024
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Justin Brazeau’s girlfriend randomly came across my TikTok fyp do you wanna know what wholesome thing I learned
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Remember when the Flyers CEO covered Torts’ fine when he stood on business and got suspended?
I remember.
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You will never convince me that Pasta is not injured right now
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“Hi friends. We got a one, we got a two.” —Jake Debrusk, aka Mr Rogers
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Wotherspoon-Peeke was so good at smothering Florida that last regular season game.
Why would you not put that back out there in favor of a D pair that has barely even met?
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They really did it for Darla
Swayman winked at my Darla sign and fist bumped the glass I am UNWELL
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Bruins fans have more empathy and compassion for your guy than y’all do that’s sad af
I really don’t understand how you can play all 82 games and then come down with migraines so severe you can’t play in the playoffs, I don’t.
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The confident swagger of a man who carried an entire playoff series on his back
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Brad Marchand, the Beagle
The Captain also got it right. He’s a beagle through and through—intelligent, spunky, & insanely determined. Also insanely loud! Yap city over here & they do it better than anyone.
Theyre also incredibly sweet but people who hate them refuse to admit it
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Pasta gassing the girls up when they were too nervous to do the same
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Jeremy Swayman, the Dogo Argentino
Have you ever wondered if that sweet, goofy dog could rip someone’s head clean off if they fucked with it?
The answer, in this case, is yes.
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Whatever happens tonight, I’m gonna watch it shit faced with a 5 pound bag of sour brite crawlers in my lap and have a good time
I LOVE THIS CITY
I LOVE THIS TEAM
LFG BRUINS BABYYYYYYYY🖤💛🖤💛
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@BR_OpenIce
If y’all think men are supposed to think, much less publicly declare, that any woman is hotter than their wives, then I feel so very sad for you.
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Trent Frederic, the Jack Russell Terrier
Relentless, spunky, yappy as all hell. Also clever, quick, and scrappy—they don’t back down from anything, ever.
I had a wire-haired one as a kid and my family still talks about what a pain in the ass she was.
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Swayman winked at my Darla sign and fist bumped the glass I am UNWELL
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Jake DeBrusk, the Pomeranian
Jakey had it right. He’s a Pomeranian all the way. Showy, yappy, and deceptively smart. When well trained and handled with respect, they are quite sweet and can learn all sorts of fancy tricks that will delight you.
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Linus Ullmark, the Great Dane
Great Danes are really big but still manage to do everything with some measure of grace.
They’re calm, even-keeled, and gentle, and everybody loves it when they get a little goofy.
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💀💀Someone give the birthday boy a piece of whatever CC is snacking on
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I hope Montour loses his keys and phone in alternating fashion on a daily basis for the rest of his god forsaken life
Really hard to see what set Brad Marchand off on the Brandon Montour goal--
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I’ve seen a lot of shitty takes on this app but “sit Pasta for Lauko” is right on up there
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Jakub Lauko, the Alaskan Malamute
Malamutes are friendly, goofy, and affectionate, but can absolutely rock your shit if you give them a reason.
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Matt Poitras, the Samoyed
Super happy, good-natured, and always up for an adventure. Samoyeds develop really deep bonds and are incredibly smart, so while training them can be work, it’ll pay off big time.
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David Pastrnak, the Shetland Sheepdog
A strikingly beautiful overachiever. Playful and good-natured, while also graceful, intelligent, and surprisingly strong.
Everyone good and right in the world can appreciate the Shetland Sheepdog.
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@yourfavpucklovr
The further we are from the Presidents Trophy the closer we are to god honestly
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Charlie McAvoy, the Boerbel
Extremely protective of their territory, deeply devoted to their people, incredibly intelligent, pants-shittingly powerful—if either one of these is careening toward you with a furrowed brow, start praying to whatever god will listen.
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Brandon Carlo, the Bernese Mountain Dog
Carlo was the last one to nail this exercise. Bernese are hard-working, loyal, and smart. Affectionate, too, and very patient. They’re gentle giants, really. Emphasis on giant.
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UlLmArKs SeLfIsH fOr NoT wAiViNg HiS nO tRaDe ClAuSe To HeLp OuT tHe TeAm
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Charlie Coyle, the Borador (Border Collie/Labrador Retriever mix)
Hardworking, adaptable, and intelligent, these guys are all positive thinking and happy energy and winning mindsets.
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Yeah I’ll not tolerate Pasta slander.
Idc if he lays down center ice and makes snow angels I will block your ass for being mean about the man who carried us on his back to these playoffs
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Mason Lohrei, the Boxer.
Ya boy’s got energy. ENERGY energy. Goofy energy. Contagious energy. Useful energy, if you know how to direct it. He’s athletic, he’s loyal, he’s eager to please.
(Sign this damn dog, Sweeney)
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Jesper Boqvist, The Chihuahua/Basenji mix
Quick, agile, and all up in everything. Is this dog useful? It can be! It’s always trying to be! But what this dog thinks is useful and what you think is useful is not always the same thing.
Still a good dog, though.
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All I want for Mother’s Day is Wotherspoon-Peeke for the third pair
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Morgan Geekie, the Vizsla
Vizslas are fast, athletic, competent and confident. They also have a nearly endless well of energy—they were bred to hunt all day, and that’s what they’ll do if you let them.
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Pavel Zacha, the Dutch Shepherd
Dutch Shepherds are workhorses, tirelessly endeavoring to serve a purpose. They’re loyal, focused, and intelligent—you can count on these guys to be where you need them and do what you trained them to do.
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@hockeyreference
@SaraCivian
Literally howling at your suggestion of a small over the shoulder bag as if that’s not exactly what’s been banned
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I don’t talk about it nearly enough but Mason Lohrei has been so spectacular in this post season so far. Just…holy hell this kid has got the GOODS
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Kevin Shattenkirk, the Labrador Retriever
Labs are just happy to be here and they’ve got great vibes. They’re affectionate, hardworking, and smart. You can’t hate these dogs, it’s against the law.
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Matt Grzelcyk, the Australian Cattle Dog
Small but effective, these guys can be real workhorses. They can also be a little chaotic and break shit. But they’ve got heart and they want to make us proud, so who are we to stop them from trying?
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Logistics dictate I’ve probably attended my last game this post season so if anyone attending the game tomorrow wants to steal these warmup signs they have my permission.
I didn’t get to use them in game 7 vs the Leafs but honestly the boys need these messages now more than ever
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Honorable Mentions because I have this knowledge and can’t keep it to myself:
Anthony Richard, the fast, sleek, graceful Saluki.
Oskar Steen, the insanely energetic, everywhere-all-at-once Bull Terrier.
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Parker Wotherspoon, the Doberman Pinscher
Dobies are big, strong & always alert & they take the guardian gig VERY seriously. They’re deeply devoted & absolutely fearless, ready to jump into the fray any time, any place to protect their own with TEETH.
10/10 would not piss off
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Sophia is really in the trenches with us SLAY QUEEN
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Danton Heinen, the American Foxhound
These pups are mild mannered & friendly, but at any given moment they’re thinking of one thing and one thing only—hunting. Once you put them in the field they will not stop working until they complete their objective or drop dead.
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Hampus Lindholm, the Greater Swiss Mountain Dog
This one’s a big, friendly watchdog. He’s protective but won’t bite your head off, large but still agile enough to do his job well. This is a good, solid dog.
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Justin Brazeau, the Bull Mastiff
Reliable, confident, devoted…ENORMOUS—that’s a Bull Mastiff.
They’re not big biters, but they’ll throw their weight around like a bull in a china shop.
Wouldn’t test one, though, cause they still have all the tools to put your face on a T-shirt
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JVR, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier
They’re no pushovers, but Staffies aren’t inherently aggressive. They’re better known for being fearless & bold, like a guy who parks at the top of the crease so he can attempt something borderline insane while people try to kill him for it
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Literally mild foreplay but okay
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@valesofeden
People are so unserious. Like are these guys supposed to think another woman is hotter than their wives? And, even if they did, are they supposed to go on TV and confess that?
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Jim Montgomery: I’m gonna let the Marchand-Coyle-Heinen line cook
The Marchand-Coyle-Heinen line:
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Goonies reference? Oh he is LOCKED in
Charlie McAvoy: “Never say die. … Let’s go home and win a hockey game.”
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Jeremy Swayman has bad vibes? Jeremy Swayman’s unpleasant to be around?
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Sway managed not to Mike Wazowski me for ONCE
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I absolutely love Brad and Monty buttoning this team up and reminding them that this isn’t over.
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So the NHL is telling us they’re either:
a) Stupid—didn’t know there were multiple cameras in that arena & that they could’ve asked the broadcast network for all footage
b) Negligent—knew they could ask the network but didn’t think of it
OR
c) The worst liars imaginable
Talked to several people in the league about the Sam Bennett / Brad Marchand play.
The NHL also didn’t see the reverse angle until Sunday, but it didn’t change how Player Safety saw it — not as a sucker punch, but as a hockey play with two players engaged.
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Big day for me considering I’m one of the people he creeped on
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Missing Jack Edwards’ last playoffs because NESN isn’t available outside of New England sure is something and that thing is complete and total bullshit
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who the fuck is we
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the boston fans saying we’re “blaming the refs before the game has started” have clearly not watched any panthers hockey this season because rooney has a very apparent vendetta against us lol
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