Pavel Zacha, the Dutch Shepherd
Dutch Shepherds are workhorses, tirelessly endeavoring to serve a purpose. They’re loyal, focused, and intelligent—you can count on these guys to be where you need them and do what you trained them to do.
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Sophia Jurksztowicz asked the Boston Bruins what dogs they would be & all but 3 got it dead wrong.
But I’ve spent my entire life working with & otherwise surrounded by dogs, so I’m here to tell you exactly which breed each of our boys really is.
Spoiler: no golden retrievers
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Jesper Boqvist, The Chihuahua/Basenji mix
Quick, agile, and all up in everything. Is this dog useful? It can be! It’s always trying to be! But what this dog thinks is useful and what you think is useful is not always the same thing.
Still a good dog, though.
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Charlie Coyle, the Borador (Border Collie/Labrador Retriever mix)
Hardworking, adaptable, and intelligent, these guys are all positive thinking and happy energy and winning mindsets.
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Trent Frederic, the Jack Russell Terrier
Relentless, spunky, yappy as all hell. Also clever, quick, and scrappy—they don’t back down from anything, ever.
I had a wire-haired one as a kid and my family still talks about what a pain in the ass she was.
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Morgan Geekie, the Vizsla
Vizslas are fast, athletic, competent and confident. They also have a nearly endless well of energy—they were bred to hunt all day, and that’s what they’ll do if you let them.
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Jakub Lauko, the Alaskan Malamute
Malamutes are friendly, goofy, and affectionate, but can absolutely rock your shit if you give them a reason.
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Matt Poitras, the Samoyed
Super happy, good-natured, and always up for an adventure. Samoyeds develop really deep bonds and are incredibly smart, so while training them can be work, it’ll pay off big time.
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Jake DeBrusk, the Pomeranian
Jakey had it right. He’s a Pomeranian all the way. Showy, yappy, and deceptively smart. When well trained and handled with respect, they are quite sweet and can learn all sorts of fancy tricks that will delight you.
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Danton Heinen, the American Foxhound
These pups are mild mannered & friendly, but at any given moment they’re thinking of one thing and one thing only—hunting. Once you put them in the field they will not stop working until they complete their objective or drop dead.
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Brad Marchand, the Beagle
The Captain also got it right. He’s a beagle through and through—intelligent, spunky, & insanely determined. Also insanely loud! Yap city over here & they do it better than anyone.
Theyre also incredibly sweet but people who hate them refuse to admit it
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JVR, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier
They’re no pushovers, but Staffies aren’t inherently aggressive. They’re better known for being fearless & bold, like a guy who parks at the top of the crease so he can attempt something borderline insane while people try to kill him for it
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Justin Brazeau, the Bull Mastiff
Reliable, confident, devoted…ENORMOUS—that’s a Bull Mastiff.
They’re not big biters, but they’ll throw their weight around like a bull in a china shop.
Wouldn’t test one, though, cause they still have all the tools to put your face on a T-shirt
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David Pastrnak, the Shetland Sheepdog
A strikingly beautiful overachiever. Playful and good-natured, while also graceful, intelligent, and surprisingly strong.
Everyone good and right in the world can appreciate the Shetland Sheepdog.
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Brandon Carlo, the Bernese Mountain Dog
Carlo was the last one to nail this exercise. Bernese are hard-working, loyal, and smart. Affectionate, too, and very patient. They’re gentle giants, really. Emphasis on giant.
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