gdimelow
@gdimelow
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The best dancer at St Bernadette’s, with the worst reputation. #BlackLivesMatter He/Him
Joined February 2009
Today is our 22nd anniversary. To mark the occasion we decided to recreate our very first picture (again), taken in a photo booth at Blackhorse Road station. Indulge me as I tell the story of how we met.
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For the last fucking time:.1) It’s not because of the war.2) It’s about repeated use of the N word.3) BBC edited the offending scene in 2013.4) Cleese fully approved of it.5) Netflix & UKTV were airing unedited version .6) Edited version will likely be used in future.
Fawlty Towers 'Don't mention the war' episode removed from UKTV
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Don’t worry Rod. We’ll still identify you as a wife beating racist.
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I know everyone likes to laugh about how stupid the #FakeMelania conspiracy is. So let’s just look at these two pictures from yesterday. How does a human being shrink a good five inches in a matter of hours?
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Having investigated further, I’m concerned this supposedly patriotic page is secretly testing members for early stages of dementia.
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Nice of the BBC to ask whether Trudeau can ever come back from the revelation that he wore blackface 18 years ago. That’s the same BBC that commissioned this in 2010.
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Dan Wootton, the cosplaying creepy vicar and the world’s most divorced man all threatening to leave London in one day. I don’t know about Mayor, I say we make Sadiq a fucking saint.
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The irony is that lots of people complaining about the Fawlty Towers decision think it’s about the war references. That’s because they have no recollection of the Major’s offensive language. Why is that?.Because they’ve ONLY EVER KNOWN THE EDITED VERSION.
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@matttomic Wonder how many nerds were furious that 'It's a Trap!' forced them to answer Star Trek for 70 across.
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We left together that night. We drank the champagne as soon as we got in. The tickets were used a week later. And we still laugh today about the one-night-stand that never was.
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Ironically, all the posts that aren't Enid and Harold trying to remember shit, are all bad news stories about neglected kids, murders, and other disasters. Makes me wonder what it is that makes them so proud of being British. I'd be fucking depressed.
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@Doug_Tilley Only told this story last weekend on @dollyparton’s birthday. I was super nervous, as she signed my CD. “I’ve loved you for over twenty years,” I blurted. She grabbed my hand and said, “Oh, honey - don’t stop now!”.
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@shitlondon @20thcenturymarc Christ, she's in hospital for a couple of weeks. It's not like she's pegged it.
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@DrCarpineti Is that why it references Jupiter and Mars, rather than the more ‘conventional’ Mars and Venus?.
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@jiveDurkey Aside from the optics of all this (at a time of national emergency) can we talk about how gross this place looks? Supposed to be super luxury, but that omelette station looks like a hostess trolley stacked with catering bottles of ketchup & giant plastic trash bin in the corner.
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@HamillHimself “You don’t know the truth, Obi-Wan killed your father” was the truth, from a certain point of view.
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In a room full of gays enjoying our annual Christmas get together, but everyone is hopelessly distracted by the twink threesome taking place in the flat opposite.
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@davidmackau In an attempt to pass as straight, I tried to kiss a girl I liked, but over-played my enthusiasm. She told everyone I kissed like a vacuum cleaner - for the next 18 months the common room was decorated with cartoons and the Hoover/vacuum pages from various catalogues.
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Today’s our twentieth anniversary, so we decided to recreate our first ever photos. Don’t you just hate us?
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Try dressing up, or introducing some light bondage play to bring back that spark.
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@rebeccamakkai In the words of our lady and saviour, Dolly Parton, it costs a lot if money to look this cheap.
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I've always had a soft spot for Gary Rhodes, ever since a close friend told me a lovely story about her family's experience with the celebrity chef. It was 25 years ago. My friend's brother had severe learning difficulties, but loved to cook & Rhodes was his favourite TV chef.
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My husband doesn’t understand me. Or clocks. Or weather. Or geography. Or politics. Or business. Or nutrition. Or decency. Or history. Or science. #MelaniaLovesJustin
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Next time you have an argument with someone about evils of PC culture, ask them EXACTLY what words they want to say that they can't anymore.
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It's spelled 'führer.'.Don't worry, my autocorrect doesn't pick it up either.
I'm writing a column about the Trump/Muslim furore. Will post a bit later.
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For simple laughs per line, this little-known Viz ad is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Even now I can’t get through it without laughing out loud.
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Imagine training your whole adult life to represent your country, and this is the support you get. Meanwhile, straight people: "I don't know why gays still feel the need to 'come out.'"
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@scottderrickson @SeanPenn I once followed Satin, because I’m easily suede. It felt like the right thing to do at the time. I cord have made different choices, but I was reacting against the PVC culture. On reflection, i was just being silky.
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@nowthisnews "I do not want to waste my time on me." .I love @MaxineWaters - strong and inspiring.
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At this time of year, it’s important to spare a thought for those grown-up children who are facing the prospect of helping their parents set up a brand new laptop. Parents who can’t remember their email, Facebook or amazon account details.
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Honestly can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a Netflix original this much. Fun, slightly preposterous scenario, solid performances, ecological concerns and some genuinely awesome effects work. Also, the third act is properly bonkers. #UnderParis
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Home sweet homo. At the end of the most stressful week of our lives, we’re raising a glass to celebrate the fact that we’ve just finished paying off our mortgage.
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Over two decades have elapsed since then, but the last I heard, he stayed in regular contact with them, to make sure her brother was still cooking and trying out new recipes. What a nice man.
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@adamtotscomix Love this so much! Although this story plays differently in the UK, where we're raised to hold our cutlery with fork on the left. So maybe his new wife is just British.
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What's a piece of regional slang you learned from your parents that's no longer in common usage?.Mine is 'shit and derision.'.I still use it, but I feel like the custodian of a dying tongue.
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Channel 5’s New Year line up has me wondering whether there’s a Huddersfield word for ‘kompromat.’
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The incredible Annette Charles. Not only incandescent on screen, she also spent her later years giving dance lessons to Trans women to help with their social transition. An icon. The best dancer at St Bernadette’s, who deserved the BEST reputation.
u know the rydell high gays were gagging when this bitch showed up to prom
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Peter Bone showing utter contempt for voters, viewers and people in general. Under pressure,he throws in a reference to defunding the BBC like a casual threat. What a nauseating, deeply unpleasant shitbin. #newsnight.
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Mate, she doesn’t think about you at all. So she wins by default.
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48 balloons today. From now on all photos will be taken in this position.
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Let’s also think for a moment about the fact that last year, #dollyparton gave away her 100 millionth book as part of the Imagination Library she set up in tribute to her illiterate father. One. Hundred. Million. Books.
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Keep calm and strap it on.
The Princess of Wales is to be out of action until Easter, at least. What will the Royal family do without her?. Find out here:
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Hey Gary Barlow: here’s how you can help the NHS. Pay your fucking taxes, you monotonous oblong.
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Just got judged by a five year old who asked his grandma in a very loud voice “Why do those men have so much wine?”
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I took a swig of Dutch courage and wandered over. Leaning in again, I said, “I’m so sorry, but it turns out I actually won both quizzes last night.”.He sighed and rolled his eyes. “But that means I have a bottle of champagne and two cinema tickets, if you’d like to share them.”.
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And while I agree with the people who talk about how problematic it is that we’re being distracted from the bigger issues around #BlackLivesMatter I’d suggest this is the perfect example of what systemic racism looks like. Insidious micro-aggressions baked into our shared.
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So the year was 1997, obviously. I was 22 and new to London. Four months hadn’t really been long enough for me to make a new set of friends, so I passed most of my empty evenings in a bar that catered to men who enjoyed the company of other men.
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@oneunderscore__ If a dramatist pulled a twist like that, they'd be dragged for relying on unbelievable deus ex machina plotting.
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Follow up note:.My timeline has been going wild this morning, lots of people commenting and sharing. Thank you to everyone who replied to say that this was helping them to interpret the story differently. Willingness to accept new information is key.
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Got my hopes up when I saw Ann Widdecombe was trending. Unfortunately, the hateful old shithead is just spouting her Reform nonsense.
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@MrJoeKeenan She plans her outfit so neatly,.Then nods and smiles, oh so sweetly,.As she testifies,.Obfuscates and lies,.She misses the point completely.
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The dawning realisation that it wasn’t mayonnaise on that room service sausage roll.
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“You won’t believe what happened after you left last night. ” he said. Unsure of how to respond, I let him continue. “You only went and won the second quiz as well! There’s a bottle of sparkly behind the bar, along with your tickets.”.At that moment, you can guess who walked in.
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@LouisatheLast @ShrewingTheTame The media’s obsession with false equivalencies must also take some share of the blame, for legitimising nonsense and intolerance as a valid counterpoint to reality. Plays right into the hands of people desperate to see information consumption as a series of binary choices.
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@TheBlackNerd Answering phones in Pizza Hut. Delivery guy was in an accident and walked back to the restaurant in a state of shock. Customer called, irate about the delay. “Sorry, but our driver has been hit by a car.”.“So where’s my fucking pizza?”.“All over the ring road, since you ask.”.
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Sensing an opportunity to break the ice, I made my way to the bathroom, going via his table. I leaned in and, with all the faux confidence I could muster, I said “Just wanted you to know I’m going to win the film quiz.” He laughed disbelievingly at my arrogance as I walked away.
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It Had To Be Queue, starring Keira Knightley and Richard Madden.
Someone, somewhere is writing a low-budget rom-com set in the queue, where two lovelorn singletons, meet-cute, flirt and fall in love while shuffling desultorily towards the Queen’s coffin.
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It was tucked away in a grimy, run-down industrial park in Walthamstow. Its exterior was downright unwelcoming, whereas inside was an explosion of Etruscan orange. We only discovered this later, when accidentally choosing the same shade of paint for a bedroom makeover.
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Imagine if the sum total of human intellectual capability amounted to nothing more than that of which Piers Morgan can conceive.
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It was called Centre Station, and was just short walk away from my flat. Somewhere I could happily make a Smirnoff Ice last a couple of hours. With no local friends to talk to, I’d usually hang out at the bar and make half-hearted chat with the bored staff.
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Happy #HeterosexualPrideDay to all the whinging, confused man-babies still struggling with the idea that not everything has to be about them.
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As it happens, I was right. And with a clear margin of four points I was named the winner. My prize - a pair of cinema tickets to be handed out after the second quiz. Films might be my specialist subject, but I’m generally hopeless on general knowledge.
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THIS. This is why you don't give Guy Ritchie $150 million to make a movie.
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Dad was rushed to hospital last night with possible sepsis. By all accounts the ambulance crew, doctors, nurses and consultants were incredible, and continue to be as they treat the infection. I’d like to say thank you to the NHS and a big fat fuck you to Allison Pearson.
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I just remembered my grandpa’s regular excuse for not wanting to do anything too strenuous was “I can’t, I’ve got a bone in me leg.” .Always sounded so gruesome and painful, we’d immediately stop pestering him.
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Shortly before the quiz started, three guys came in and took a table directly in front of the stage. One of them caught my attention straight away. Talk, slim and handsome, with a vague look of Brad Pitt in Se7en. Maybe it was the haircut or the goatee.
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I instantly regretted that bravado since, as we’ve already established, I had no team. I could see that he and his friends were answering confidently, and I wondered whether I’d ever be able to show my face in the bar again.
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One cold, damp evening, I found myself at a loose end, and decided to blow some of my meagre income on a couple of drinks. It was a Tuesday, which meant quiz night, offering some respite from another evening of standing alone at the bar.
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