I didn’t want to be like John Wayne because in the 90s a kid told me he died with 40lbs. of poop in his colon (an untrue internet myth). Still, it’s what I think of when I see his name. Kids need heroes introduced early before they’re told the lies, because the lies will stick.

Going to tell my kids “that’s not a gift to receive through grasping” so often it gets mentioned in my obituary.

This may seem like a shit test and like they want you to push them down and throw all this away while they weep on the floor but the only way is to clear 2/3rds in secret and try to make it to a year before they find out.

A gun vastly increases your sense of agency. You don’t even have to use it or think about it, easy mental perk to get.

You know who is on this coin? Lucky, the Leprechaun. He controls the charms, the hearts, stars, magically delicious horseshoes. But he doesn’t decide who gets the luck. The coin does. And now it's here. And it's either heads, or a leprechaun. And you have to say.

“A lot of Hessians on the naughty list.” *American cheers and laughter*

This is my copy of @charlesmurray’s Taking Religion Seriously. There are many like it, but this one is water damaged because Amazon threw it on my driveway in the heavy rain.

@Devon_Eriksen_ @SandyofCthulhu We’ll use a club so it’s less gory. “You… think that blunt weapons don’t splash blood everywhere?”

We must treasure original thinkers who run personal dot com blogs in obscurity without any interest in reaching the post-Y2K internet. This guy is some kind of druid, but his fans repost his more insightful and less wizardly takes. A lucky find.

Like the real life "Dude" who inspired the Coens’ Big Lebowski, Will Stancil's mark in history is shaping out to be a piece of trivia. Did you know he's based on a real person?

“You cannot purport to represent ‘the world’s foremost debating society’ if you rejoice in the slaying of guest speakers with bullets” lol.

https://t.co/FTaQ8Wmf6P

https://t.co/pLGlz7eMc0

"how can I turn these rocks into digital ghosts who haunt me at every turn"

It is with a heavy heart that I have learned of Scott’s affliction with cancer. His daily news program is a source of great delight, and in every office I grace his comics adorn the walls, a testament to his widespread acclaim. Permit me to share a recollection: Scott and I once

Sir Isaac Newton once gazed upon the sun with such prolonged intensity that he imperiled his sight. It appears he but skimmed the works of Aristotle, who, in both On the Soul and Sense and Sensibilia, prudently admonished against such perilous observations of the celestial orb.

Alas the day the last-born outgrows the stroller, for a babe in its berth lets a man wander freely, suspicion unraised.

Their world is slop. I will be king again.