will
@friedoystercult
Followers
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Following
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Statuses
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Participation trophies made me this way.
Joined September 2013
“It’s called shrimp fried rice. Apparently, and you can look this up, but apparently the shrimp fries the rice. There are thousands & thousands of these shrimp, frying rice.”
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We’re so rich that we forgot that there are delicious free ducks everywhere.
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Got randomly paired up with a guy for golf last weekend. Dude was a State Farm agent, smoked 5 blunts and drank whiskey from a disposable water bottle the whole time, never tried to sell me insurance. I’ll be calling him with my future insurance needs for sure.
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I was pro poison. Then I drank some of that shit. It was really bad. Maybe should have researched it. REMOVE POISON
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Well fukc me. That was pretty retarded.
Let’s see what President Retard comes up with today.
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Accounting question:. When you pay an assassin to murder a whistleblower, can you capitalize that and amortize over the life of the congressional inquiries?.
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Game of Thrones prequel about interns working at the Iron Bank during a currency crisis.
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75% of people don’t have any long terms goals. They spend their time with their families & friends. They work jobs and pay bills and eat food and go on vacation. They help their spouses and pet their dogs. They do religious stuff. They reproduce. Great way to let 10yrs slip by.
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A lot of you sweet Twitter people liked Charlie pictures. I just wanted to let you know he’s no longer with us. Good boy, would pet.
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Had dinner recently w a friend who works at Toy”R”us. I asked him what companies were the biggest threat to their business?. Didn’t skip a beat…. Palantir.
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You’re telling me that the guy who was obsessed with Kenyan birth certificates is actually retarded?.
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I just met a 4 year old who made $23,000 on Robinhood in E&P Shitcos and he said “Sometimes you need to take advantage of the greater fool theory instead of avoiding these situations all together.” . Heady stuff.
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@INVESTMENTSHULK I have a question but before you can answer, let me repeat myself endlessly.
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“Escape the 9 to 5 life. Buy a SMB”. is the most insane pitch I’ve ever seen.
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SOURCE: STOCKS ARE DOWN DUE TO INCREASING LEVELS OF RETARDATION WITHIN PRESIDENT RETARD.
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A great way to cut back on alcohol is to only purchase IPAs. It’s hard to drink too much when the beer tastes like brussel sprout deodorant.
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MSFT and I split a few years ago and Im happy for her. I wish her the best. I really do. Im fine with it. Totally fine. This is just how things work in life. I saw a young microcap and went a different direction. It’s fine, really. We’re both in a good place and yeah so its fine.
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Taleb is annoying on this website but I guess I would be too if if wrote books called ‘Black Swan’ and ‘Antifragile’ then watched a million goobers use those words while proving they have no clue what the definition is.
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Got a medical bill dropped from $8,800 to $380 by just acting like a psycho for 10 months. Follow for more tips.
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Tesla is such a classic Warren Buffet investment:. 1) the ceo has abandoned the company and is ruining all goodwill. 2) sales data is horrible. 3) they manufacture a truck drawn by a small boy. It’s almost too easy.
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Homeownership is just finding out about another $10,000 expense every few months.
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Me: .Uhg I’m so fucking tired. Long, long year. I’m exhausted. Might go to bed. My 102 year old grandmother:
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So if I’m understanding the future of AI. It’s going to be…. Input: Uranium & Coal.Output: Kid’s homework assignments.
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Please help me select a beverage pairing.
Reminder that the objectively correct Thanksgiving wine and food pairing is as follows:.1. Cook a duck instead of turkey.2. Drink a red burgundy with it.
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Well well well…. Looks like that state ordered chemical castration didn’t work after all. #wehadababyitsagirl
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It’s time for this to stop. How can anyone buy a home or raise a family if a single pizza costs $43 before adding any fixins?. How do normal people do this?. ONE PIZZA SHOULDN’T COST $66
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Things I want in a partner:. -7 feet tall.-Helps me learn.-Yellow, big.-Not judgmental.-Has a job in entertainment .-Knows the streets .-Bird shaped.
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TRUMP: MEME COINS ARE FOR STUPID NERDS AND I LOVE TAKING THIER MONEY.
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Received 7 page resume. Entire thing is bullet format, including grade school attendance and the word “sexual” with no context. Stunning.
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Buy a ton of beer. Drink it up. Drive the empty cans to Michigan to collect the $0.05 recycling rebate. Arbitrage down with your bros.
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I did not realize how much more retarded Trump had gotten over the last 4 years but it turns out it was a lot.
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Russia: We were the first to launch a dog into space. World: How will the dog return?. Russia: We were the first to launch a dog into space.
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Gentlemen, you spot this woman alone at the bar in Jackson Hole. You decide to approach her. How do you open?
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If you couldn’t afford $12,000 to eat BBQ at Capital Camp and listen to Beshore invest his inheritance, then come on down to Labor Camp!. We got a lot holes that need diggin!.
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🤣 Jesus dude. Can’t even tweet right. Pls don’t explode the economy.
The Golden Age is coming. We are committed to protecting our interests, engaging in global negotiations and exploding our economy.
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Instead of writing the FriedOysterClut Capital annual letter, which no one reads, we decided to issue a series of memes inspired by Greek myths, mystical crap, and mysterious images left open to interpretation:
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1) Do an insane experimental policy. 2) wait for sycophants to invent a 4-D chess explanation. 3) say “yep, that’s definitely what we’re doing”.
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With proper planning, there’s no such thing as a “Dry Wedding”.
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“Attorneys say SBF was drinking White Claws the entire time therefore isn’t legally responsible. This could be a fascinating legal precedent.”. -@AP.
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The key to a good Derby Day mobile bar is 3 things:. 1) Mint.2) Cocaine.4 Whiskey.3) Dog
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“When the tide goes out, you see a ton of dicks.”. -Warren Buffet.
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No @LinkedIn, . I will not “congratulate” the the lady who once asked to use my guest room to sleep with her subordinate while cheating on her husband & abusing prescription pills because “hotel expenses were piling up”. Not today.
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A six year old with no front teeth just looked at me and said “you look like you have no money”.
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The store by my office started selling hangover pills. I was curious so I pulled the Amazon reviews. Here’s what Christina had to say:
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When you’re too tired to teach an adult what strawberries are:
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