Karen, Esq.
@enemybitchy
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rosé litigant
back and better than ever
Joined November 2025
I started law school the same year my chud cousin graduated cop school & I was telling him how much reading I was going to have to do and he was sincerely like “oh you don’t need to tell me about it, they made us read a law book *this thick* in academy” and literally did this: 🤏
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Your Honor can I have a different public defender this one’s a dinergoth
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You're laughing? A cop testified under oath that he does not know if Afroman fucked his wife, and you're laughing?
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I don’t miss litigation but I’m so jealous of the lawyer whose trial strategy gets to be “put as many of these Afroman videos in front of the jury as possible”
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Threat Level: orange eyeliner with a huge wing
Job is pissing me off so I’m just wearing stupider and stupider eye makeup to the office until I get a talking to about professionalism
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At this point who doesn’t know this, it’s thirty years and many more Reddit posts later
nobody understands the “McDonalds coffee too hot” tort case and it bugs me so much. a 79 year old woman suffered third degree burns on 6% of her skin when she spilled the coffee she just bought! she was right!
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Joke’s on you it was an anxiety attack I can’t tell your Dr. Robby ass about!!
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Took a couple sick days at work and when I came back my boss didn’t say “are you feeling better” she said “how is your house search going” LOL
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Yes, realtor, it’s super great that your other young client was able to afford a slightly bigger house by looking in Farmers Branch instead of Dallas. But do I look like a fucking farmer to you
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As a middle class first time homebuyer in a large city I feel like The Bachelorette. All my options seem tolerable but are way overvalued and have deep structural issues I don’t even know about. But I gotta just fuckin pick one to stay with for a few years while I get my money up
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Trying on clothes at Target as a form of self harm
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Suddenly Amish was randomly such a wild show and I hope the community never un-shuns James because he NEEDS to go on House of Villains
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Don’t hold the elevator doors open for me I don’t want to be in there with you
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Whitaker picks up the bloody ring and suddenly has to start taking care of this guy's wife too
Dr. Langdon removes the wedding band off a patient on today's episode of The Pitt...
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[Austin Powers but with Sheryl Crow’s voice] if it MAKES you randyyyyyyy 🎵
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They finally put a small, locally-owned coffee shop with good breakfast and lunch sandwiches right across the street for me and the entire fucking vibe of this place is ass and the service is glacial
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