Drew Magary
@drewmagary
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172,898
Following
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Media
1,444
Statuses
37,904
@DefectorMedia . @SFGate . Six books. He/Him. Your shit is bumming me out.
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Joined September 2008
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Pinned Tweet
Hey yo here’s where you can find all of my writing, starting with my day jobs:
@DefectorMedia
:
@SFGate
:
The Distraction podcast (with
@david_j_roth
):
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Well then you picked the right man
Mike McDaniel on Dolphins' "exciting" Chase Claypool acquisition: "We definitely weren't looking for receiver help"
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I resigned from Deadspin this morning. That was a fun time you and me had there all those years, wasn't it? Let's do it again sometime.
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Aaron Rodgers gonna wait for all the research to come in before he declares this score final
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Too many people are nice to their dogs online. The dog's never gonna be able to read that shit. I say you use the Internet to ruthlessly insult your dog behind its back
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Again, I watched the movie that Kyrie signal-boosted and when he says "I can't be antisemitic if I know where I come from," that's a tacit endorsement of the film's central, VERY anti-Semitic thesis
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Weird that anyone working with Tucker Carlson would feel the need to do SECRETLY racist shit
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I'm voting Bernie. The last few weeks cinched it for me so there you have it.
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JUST HAD TO SLIP ONE MORE OF THESE FUCKING THINGS IN DIDN'T YOU
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Good evening. Greetings from Manhattan where I am currently NOT dead
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Maybe cities should prepare for how COPS will react to certain verdicts.
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Update: after over a month I’m leaving the hospital and going home. My thanks to all of you for your love and support.
NOW FUCK OFF
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I remember Summerall was doing a promo for COPS and Madden goes “Now the thing with that show is, the guy who doesn't have his shirt on? That's the guy who did it.”
#RIP
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Who else is fucking PUMPED for 9/11 guys
.
@realDonaldTrump
First Lady Melania Trump greet supporters as they arrive in Johnstown, PA to attend the Flight 93 September 11 Memorial Service in Shanksville, PA
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EVERYONE: Free Britney!
THE COURT SYSTEM: Oh, you want us to free Bill Cosby?
EVERYONE: No no we said free B—
THE COURT SYSTEM: —ill Cosby. Got it.
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Easily the best way to beat Trump is by running with the guy who represents, in totality, the kind of backslapping DC horseshit that drove idiot voters to Trump in the first place
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Super Bowl ads now are targeted exclusively at people who clap when celebrities show up unannounced on SNL
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Gonna be a swell day online.
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Every Summer Olympics they let Ralph Lauren dress our team like they're on vacation in Newport
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About Bourdain:
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Ivanka is a pile of shit and there's nothing mean you can say to her that she doesn't deserve
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And if you're shopping around for free agent bloggers and want to host Funbag-like things on YOUR site, I ain't hard to find.
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It’s time I talked about what happened to my brain.
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Buddy there is no one in this fucking planet I wanna hear from less right now than Adam Schefter
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LOL holy shit green jacket lady absolutely DESTROYS this asshole
Fox News tried to do a bunch of scary man-on-the-street interviews about crime. It didn't go well.
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“Folks what Myles Garrett did was a CRIME... almost as big of a crime as the STEAL you get subscribing to Disney+ for just a few bucks a month!”
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IT’S A FUCKING SCHEDULE RELEASE NOT A VACCINCE YOU FUCKING ROBOT
ESPN will air a three-hour NFL schedule release show tonight at 8 pm Eastern. It will highlight key matchups, schedule flexibility and, ultimately, hope.
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For
@GQMagazine
I interviewed a bunch of people about the late Anthony Bourdain and collected their stories. For their sake, for his sake, and for yours, I really truly hope I didn’t fuck this up.
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If you're surprised Billie Eilish has never heard of Van Halen, well then you might be a LOT more surprised by the shit Eddie Van Halen himself is oblivious to. (via
@CKlosterman
)
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Holy shit
I stand with the former
@Deadspin
workers who decided not to bow to the greed of private equity vultures like
@JimSpanfeller
. This is the kind of greed that is destroying journalism across the country, and together we are going to take them on.
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Well they didn’t you stupid asshole
"If the Republicans sweep these 3 red-state gubernatorial races ... I think you're going to have nothing but impeachment to thank,"
@chucktodd
says on
#MTPDaily
.
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Yesterday was horseshit for what happened and today will be horseshit for what will not.
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In times like these, it's so comforting to know that our president is history's biggest bitch
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I think this is the drunkest athlete I’ve ever seen out in public and it is FANTASTIC hustle on Ovechkin’s part
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Hey universe. Drew’s wife here. He wanted me to pass on MERRY CHRISTMAS! He is doing better. Wanted to clarify what happened to him as he falsely tweeted last week while cooped up in a rehab bed. He was not drunk when he suddenly collapsed. He is on his way to recovery.
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The folks at Vice are letting me crash there this week. So guess what?...
...
...
...
...
...
...
FUNBAG.
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I’m screaming into the void here but if Biden wins and the Democrats take the Senate they need to start handing down some fucking consequences for the death party.
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A few weeks ago I wrote about how my cochlear implant can't hear guitars. Well, reader Josh is an audio engineer, so he sent me an idea to fix it and it WORKED. So that was extremely cool.
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I remember I went to Mount Vernon once and one of the labels said George Washington ordered his slaves freed upon his death, and that Martha Washington "wasted no time, freeing them a year after he passed." And I was like A YEAR IS A LOT OF FUCKING TIME
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You gotta admire Kirk for waiting until this exact moment. No one is more reliably worthless.
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It is time once more for the annual HATER’S GUIDE TO THE WILLIAMS-SONOMA CATALOG
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Desperately searching for a sporting event where his ass won't get booed
Breaking: Alabama making preparations for President Donald Trump to attend LSU game.
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It'd be amusing if Pfizer did a big ad blitz for Comirnaty without mentioning it's the COVID vaccine AT ALL. Like if they just said "Promotes lung girth!" and jabs suddenly went up nationwide by 60%.
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The Venn diagram of fans who would willingly attend a game right now and fans against police brutality is a perfect fucking figure 8
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“All over America, the coronavirus is revealing, or at least reminding us, just how much of contemporary American life is bullshit”
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He's a Nazi.
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Told you we'd see each other again.
This is Defector, a new sports blog and media company from the writers you missed. We made this place together, we own it together, we run it together.
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Russian team definitely gonna accept the White House invite HEYOOOOOOOOOO
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Pardon the earnest guy tweet, but it’s really, really nice that he’s finally fucking gone. Feels great.
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Threw a pick in Madden and said out loud to the television “That’s on me”
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Man of ALL the bands to willing to do this...
GREAT WHITE Plays Concert In North Dakota With No Restrictions In Place: No Social Distancing, No Masks (Video)
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Mitch McConnell is a fucking tumor and should never know a moment’s peace for the rest of his life
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Time for a....... FAWNING TAKE?!
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(Comes to the last, dirtiest pot in the sink) this one has to soak
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I'd just like to note that the Astros are not only cheaters and bloodless shitbags but they also blew four home games in the World Series to a team rallying around a glorified Wiggles song
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Well you just have to be inspired by Tom Brady’s ability to barely complete half his passes and then get bailed out by shitty opposing coaches and hilariously inconsistent officiating
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Look man I’m biased as shit but the Packers get enough home cooking to host an Easter dinner for 60
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And then, finally... we started . Over 34,000 people have subscribed thus far. We all have health insurance and we're getting Christmas bonuses. We just instituted paid six-month maternity/paternity leave. We made good jobs for each other. Pure fucking joy.
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MY DAUGHTER: Well did Bernie tag YOU in the tweet?
ME: Me personally? No.
HER: Oh.
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You know, I'm managed to stay relatively even through all this, but if the man is willing to destroy the fucking MAIL... and there are people willing to help him... and no one else can do anything about it... what's the fucking point? This country is a piece of shit.
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If you chant U-S-A at a sporting event that isn’t some international competition or a Hacksaw Jim Duggan match I know exactly what kind of dickless pud you are
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We did that and you fucking failed.
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Three years ago, all of us quit our jobs at Deadspin and started Defector on our own.
Not only has Defector survived since then (and remained worker owned), we’ve prospered. This thread has the details, including over $4 million in revenue this past year alone.
Defector turns three years old this week! That means it's time to answer some questions about the business.
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ESPN: We need to fire at least 7800 staffers and cut company day care or else stockholders are gonna be way mad
Also ESPN: Are you a former player? HERE HAVE THIS LIMO MADE OF SOLID GOLD
ESPN reportedly is offering Jason Witten more than twice what he'd make if he plays
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She looks like she just got dialysis with a bag of tobacco juice
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I don’t know one guy, including myself, who wasn’t in an embassy fight that ended with a gruesome dismemberment.
Not a single one.
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THIS is how you fucking frame it?
Breaking News: The Trump administration is set to end key environmental protections for streams and wetlands, in a victory for farmers and developers
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@BernieSanders
@Deadspin
@JimSpanfeller
Senator who was your favorite Deadspinner and please don’t say Marchman
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Lot of pickup truck ads now don't even bother showing the truck haul dirt or any of that truck shit. They're just like "here's your enormous luxury car, you total fuckhead"
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So glad SNL apologized to this fucking dickhead.
Situations like this story are why we protect the 2nd Amendment.
Side note: With universal background checks, I wouldn’t be able to let my friends borrow my handgun when they travel alone like this. We would make felons out of people just for defending themselves.
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A year ago tonight, my brain exploded. But you're not getting rid of me quite that easily.
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They sang “True Colors” at my kid’s middle school chorus recital and a girl introduced it by saying, “You might know this song from the movie Trolls, or if you were alive in the year 1986.”
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All my life I have been destined to be an Area Man on a local newscast. Yesterday that destiny was fulfilled.
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Amanda Gorman was awesome now please shield her from the Hamilton people
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If you think a scholarship for an athlete is generous because college costs a shitload maybe the real problem is that college costs a shitload
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Such a shame Stephen Miller has to be forcibly separated from people he cares about
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If your team won't hold Free Trash Can Night when the Astros come to town this season then its marketing department doesn't even have replacement-level sass.
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Obviously the only way to settle this is for Trump to play LeBron one on one
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Pretty jazzed at the prospect of a bunch of fucking yokels busting out of quarantine because DURRRRR FREEDOM and making it impossible for any of the rest of us to ever come back out.
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All I want from the Rise of Skywalker is for it to have, as with every good Star Wars movie, a scene where a droid gets comically electrocuted while fixing something
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After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that'll be a home run. And so that'll make it a 4-0 ballgame.
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