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Ben

@defenestr8rboi

Followers
5,049
Following
1,840
Media
1,640
Statuses
11,130

Single father to world’s silliest puppy | 🏳️‍🌈🗽

New York, USA
Joined May 2022
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
Let’s be honest, some of you would fucking love this
@peta
PETA
3 months
You wouldn’t want this and dogs forced to race in the #Iditarod don’t either.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
6 months
Travis Kelce has to be first person to have his reputation *improved* when we found his tweets from ten years ago
@tkelce
Travis Kelce
14 years
Ooo Girl!! Shock me like an electric eal!!! Haha MGMT-Electric Feel has been playing in my head all day!
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After 29 years on this earth, I have finally finished an entire chap stick without losing it. Please clap.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
Me: “Seems bad that King Charles is ill, his wife is unpopular, and his heir is up to some problematic shit” 2020’s guy: “yeah” 1680’s guy: “yeah”
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Tonight, we meet Jesus
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Putting vodka in this, and calling it “homemade Four Loko”
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Rural gays 🤝 eclipse fans Travelling unreasonably far for the chance to see a hole for four minutes
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Think we have our answer!
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@PolitlcsUK
Politics UK
4 months
🚨 NEW: Rishi Sunak does not eat anything for 36 hours at the start of each week which his allies say is a testament to his “determination” as PM [ @thetimes ]
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Gay, Italian, and done in two minutes? Yeah, I know that guy
@KrisSkulls
Kris
27 days
“what are you eating” that’s oomf 😭😭😭
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
You, a fool, pay $3 to rent the episode of Drag Race. I, a wise man, spend $48 on vodka-sodas while watching it for free at the bar.
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The older I get, the less I find myself tempted by twinks, and the more I find myself enticed by “he looks like he shows up to things on time”
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
How can you say cooking is hard, when I whipped this delicious lil dinner up in 30 seconds?
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
7 months
I have to share a really important update about Dollarita Guy
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Open couple (one ugly)
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Me, inviting the boys to The Eagle
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
6 months
@CircleCityGay Her in 2011: “You kept me like a secret / and I kept you like an oath” Him in 2011: “I hate squirrels SMH” It’s honestly really cute
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
3 months
“New York-New Jersey” is kinda like “Judeo-Christian”: if you’re using it, we know actually talking about the second thing
@FIFAWorldCup
FIFA World Cup
3 months
🇺🇸 The #FIFAWorldCup 26 final is headed to New York New Jersey! #WeAre26
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
11 months
@shaunalmeida To be didn’t fair, you didn’t specify if you wanted pics of him or if you
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Fully packed for Palm Springs!
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
6 months
You only thought you had sen the end of this meme
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
9 months
A year ago today, I looked so youthful and not-divorced
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This is the coolest photo I’ve ever seen in my life.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
All of the girls and all of the gays got jumpscared when Aaron Samuels turned around, and looked like…this
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
10 months
It’s time to cause some traffic problems in Crimea
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
France has had a gay PM for less than a week, and theatre is already mandatory ✊🏳️‍🌈
@libe
Libération
4 months
🔴 EN DIRECT Emmanuel Macron annonce que «le théâtre deviendra un passage obligé au collège l’année prochaine» ➡️
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
Gay people are like “she saved my life” and it’s just this cunty cow who wears photos of herself as earrings
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
@nikicaga I wanna obstruct his shipping lanes
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
Getting on a Boeing plane is a fun little lottery: if you win, you get a juicy structured settlement from the airline; if you lose, you land safely in Cleveland.
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She might have been onto something
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
8 months
Fuck, it finally happened 💀🔫
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Who wants to snuggle?
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
@dgschell Perfect moment for the single gays to declare war on both sides!
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Dad, I *swear* this is why I was googling “frat kiss” on the family computer
@PicturesUssr
USSR Pictures
10 days
A fraternal kiss between a Soviet major and an American staff sergeant at a feast in Germany, 1945
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Wanna hear something embarrassing? I’ve only had sex with three people this year
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This is the breakfast of a man at war with his microbiome
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
7 months
Lots of tourists think this was named for Queen Elizabeth II. But real Londoners know it was named after Elizabeth Truss.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Also, now I see why Macron was looking back there
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Wanna make some bad decisions together?
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
11 months
Shame I only get to wear this shirt once a year
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
7 months
@anderscjay “Is that what he calls you?” “No”
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
3 months
The rest of this will be on the alt on Sunday
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
@scammington Can travel.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
6 months
@nikicaga >presses orange button >nothing changes
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Being a spy must be awful. Imagine living in DC and not being able to talk about your job 24/7
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Columbia drops SAT scores to focus on more equitable metrics like whether you were on the rowing team
@nypost
New York Post
1 year
Columbia becomes first Ivy League school to permanently drop SAT/ACT testing requirement
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Putting vodka in this, and calling it “homemade Four Loko”
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@_sn_n This truly has the worst of urban living (limited space and crowding) and the worst of rural living (nothing to do)
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
I had been meaning to ask him if he’s a bottom. But then he sent me a three-minute Voice Note, so I think I have the answer
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
3 months
Exactly.
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@clapifyoulikeme
Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq.
3 months
@defenestr8rboi >twink >on top
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
11 months
“My son can’t possible be gay, he’s obsessed with a woman” The woman:
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@CircleCityGay
Circle City Gay
11 months
“My son can’t be gay. He’s obsessed with women.” The women:
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
3 months
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@tehilszn
💫
8 months
smile if your dick is big
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
3 months
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Every time I see a gay guy go to the bathroom in an airplane, I have to wonder if he’s taking his shirt off in there
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
8 months
This might be a dumb question, but how Sri Lanka get all those Roman coins?
@UpdatingOnRome
Daily Roman Updates
8 months
A Map of the Distribution of Roman Coins Found in Eurasia and North Africa.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Today I had sex with another man, sang along to an entire Taylor Swift album, and booked flights to Palm Springs. But I’ll still never feel the same-sex attraction that Elon fanboys feel for Elon 😞
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You can kiss a hundred boys in bars. But you should start with this one.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
@ikisnick We need a thread of all the Dutch sentences that are completely comprehensible to English speakers
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Festive in flannel
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
The cool thing about flying Business Class is how much more space you get in the bathroom
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Old people will say “I’m on a fixed income”, and like what the fuck do you think the rest of us are on?
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
7 months
@JimboRomano Guy with a moustache in San Francisco? Let’s assume so
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
10 months
@alex_abads You know Hunter would win Florida in a landslide
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@brent858 She’s going for this vibe
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
I have four weddings this year, and zero boys to take as my plus one
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@TheyLuvvLi_
liyah biaa 🤍
5 months
SINGLEEE TWITTER 👀🤔 where y'all at drop a picture i'll start .....
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
8 months
*BREAKING: PRINCESS ANNE EXECUTES JACOB REES-MOGG
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Crime is only up in New York because our Mayor commits about 26 crimes a day
@nypost
New York Post
1 month
Overall NYC crime hit levels unseen in two decades last year even as Mayor Adams claims it’s a ‘perception problem’
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Please check on your bisexual friends this Saturday. There’s no way they’ll survive seeing Jacob and Renée at the same time
@PopBase
Pop Base
4 months
Promo for Jacob Elordi and Reneé Rapp on SNL.
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
8 months
Twinks will straight-up go to gates of hell if they think they can get a good pic out of it
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
9 months
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@JCColtin
Jeff Coltin
9 months
Mayor Adams, on one benefit of outdoor dining: "You’re looking to date. You may drive by. You may see eye candy sitting down somewhere, you may want to park and come and slip them your number. Come have fun, man. Outdoor dining is the way to go."
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Online shopping is hard, because I can never tell if I want to buy the shirt or if I’m just into the model
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
If you enjoyed 737 bathroom lighting, might I introduce you to hotel bathroom lighting?
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@Hoopurrr LinkedIn, obviously
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We need to raise rates until this car dealership goes out of business
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
3 months
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@MarketingBully_
Tyllah - Little Ms. E-Mail Marketing
11 months
What’s that picture that makes you say “wow, I’m so pretty!!” 👀👀
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
That Boeing 737 bathroom lighting hits different
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
3 months
@nikicaga I like that they think it’s still a strike when you tell your work it’s a sick day
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*BREAKING: Shawn Mendes and Charlie Puth are dating
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Stop being mean to Josh. It’s a really classy bottle of wine. 😤
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
@kneadingrainbow My hatred for the Prime Minister knows no bounds (but MI-5, if you’re reading this, I’m joking)
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
Tie between this one and my pinned
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@halloimgreg
Greg
5 months
screw your best chest pic, quote this with your favorite leg pic of 2023
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
POV: you’re about to make a horrible decision with me
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Behind every man is a twink who will ruin his life
@PolitlcsUK
Politics UK
4 months
🚨 BREAKING: Rishi Sunak's former special adviser is plotting to remove him as prime minister Will Dry, who conducted polling for Sunak and quit in November last year, is working with a secretive group of 20 former advisers and MPs to force Sunak out [ @thetimes ]
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
7 months
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
4 months
Me at 21 Taking a little snooze after a busy morning of demontwink activities
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@patrick_wb95
Patrick
4 months
Me at 21 I have such a distinct memory of choosing this outfit and thinking "I'm going to look like Joseph Gordon Levitt in 500 days of summer" 😭
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
Sorry if we made plans for tomorrow, but I’m really busy
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Happy first day of summer, New York
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
5 months
@computer_gay We need an alcohol-free queer space for adults with no friends to meet each other
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Dad, can you please stop taking slutty pictures, and just take me for a walk?
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
8 months
My most problematic would is everyone in this photo
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
7 months
This is what my Instagram grid looks like, so it’s honestly safer to just open Grindr in public
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@defenestr8rboi
Ben
2 months
If you aren’t following my alt, you’re only getting half the story 😘
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@_FleerUltra From the people who brought you
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@dgschell Porn or nudity. But then you turn a queer space into a gay-sex space, which isn’t great for every queer person
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