Buffalo Dad
@buffalo__dad
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𝐶𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑒 | miscreant. criminal. girl dad.
Colorado, USA
Joined July 2011
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On days where Amelia is being difficult and I’m tired and sick and at my witt’s end, I read the following poem;
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Hey, requiring dual-military parents to get their kids up & to daycare by 6am so they can make it to PT is cruel to the child
Don’t act dumb in the comments, I’ll just block you
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I had a friend in the Army who 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 talked about hiking the Appalachian Trail when she got out
She got out in January and I just heard from her. She’s 21 days into the hike
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞
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We did an LPD demonstrating a combined arms breach - complete with live MICLIC rocket
It, uh, did not go as planned
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Idk how the Army can fix Company Command. But maybe start by not making it a required position to progress. It’s not a privilege if everyone has to do, and there are some truly terrible people who do not deserve the authority that comes with command.
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@combatmeatball
The Army should do a study on how quickly service members leave the military after having kids - either one or both parents, as in our case, because it’s just a hard life on everyone involved
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I got assigned to investigate something in the Army. I was given 16 days to do it. I was in the field for 12 of them. And the other 4, I’ll have about 9 hours total time to conduct the investigation and write my findings
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@ZestyUberXL
A lot of people like to say “but you get double BAH!” like any amount of money can replace a 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝
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@CortanaV
@samdavisboyhero
Why release a new game when you can just keep re-releasing your 20 year old game to new formats? PS4, PS5, PC, VR, VIRTUAL REALITY PLUS, BRAIN IMPLANT CM’ERE LYDIA
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One of these days I’m going to pen my 101 reasons why I’m leaving the Army
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@Amtrak
i do not want to bereal or beonatrain i want to be my old self again but I’m still trying to find it after plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own now you mail back my things and I walk home alone but you keep my old scarf from that very first week because it rem
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Airborne operations had 10 year viability window that just happened to coincide with WWII. Outside of that window, they’re useless
Tell us your military opinion that gets this reaction
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I said some stuff that resonated with a lot of people & gained some followers - let me introduce myself & this page
I’m a nerdy, 10-year Army veteran, girl dad trying to make up for time lost in the military
cooking, snowboarding, flying, sports, gaming, outdoors, bourbon
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If you’ve ever been a Company XO you know what it’s like to spend an entire day on the phone with 100 different people only to end the day having accomplished one thing
Today was one of those days. Might need to bump up that projected retirement age
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One of my favorite episodes of B99 is when Rosa comes out as bisexual and Holt says this
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I’d say something about how I’ll probably miss this, but it took me 4 tries to final out so I don’t think I will
But we did it, fam
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3. Your bosses will always be your bosses simply because they’ve been in the Army longer than you – not because they are more skilled, competent, or knowledgeable. Boldness, success, and achievements are not monetarily incentivized enough for high performers.
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My wife is my best friend. I’ll never grow tired of her. We have bits and banter. Honestly if I could only ever talk to one human for the rest of time it would be her
BUT
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@EzraFBridgers
Re-write your LinkedIn resume to sound more like a civilian job. Yeah we all shoot guns and stuff, but we also coordinate supply chains, develop team members, and oversee process improvement, etc
That’ll help the targeted job postings a lot
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6. Extra duties to perform while on Staff Duty. My wife has to listen to a 1 hour podcast and write an essay while on Staff Duty. If you’re a field grade officer and this is your idea of mentoring your subordinates, fuck you.
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one day you’re a 20-something, free spirit. then you’re 31 & making spreadsheets to pack for a family trip.
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5. CQ and Staff Duty. It’s 2021. Brigades can pay for a cell phone that gets passed around to someone every day and they’re the emergency contact person. Or use personal phones instead of tax dollars. Regardless, no one needs to spend 24 hours at work just to “be the adult.”
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You either [𝑅𝐸𝐹𝑅𝐴𝐷] a hero (𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚇𝙾) or [𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑛] long enough to see yourself become the villain (𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚇𝙾)
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14. If I’m sick I still have to come to work at 6am to wait in line for a medic to tell me I’m sick
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1. Its not a meritocracy. Most dont deviate from DA PAM 600-3 which says what jobs you’ll have & when you’ll be promoted. Everyone goes at the same pace. Your incompetent classmates & your Rhodes Scholar colleague will all hit the same gates at the same times, more or less.
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So many things would be easier if we just started with the assumption that the cops are lying
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@SadMaj0r
ImSorryCouldYouRepeatThat
becomes
“Hi I’m here to pick up a mobile order”
“Okay what’s the name on that?”
“I’m sorry could you repeat that”
Go in circles for ever
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4. Organized PT, Id argue, does more to hinder fitness improvement than allowing soldiers to train on their own. Units do 7.5hrs of PT per week. NCAA football teams are capped at 8/week in the off season. Do you really think your private is as fit as an SEC off season player?
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11. We discharge and/or incarcerate soldiers who smoke weed when they get home, but we don’t for soldiers who get drunk when they get home
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Flying out today for my first trip with a real adult job
Crazy that my mileage, parking, flight, rental car, hotel, and meals are all expensed to the company
Wonder if I’ll ever miss the 24 hour bus rides and stained NTC cots
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‼️‼️
I had a friend in the Army who 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 talked about hiking the Appalachian Trail when she got out
She got out in January and I just heard from her. She’s 21 days into the hike
𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞
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19. Because officers think their OERs matter so much, they do whatever they can to ensure their boss gives them a favorable rating. This doesn’t mean taking care of their subordinates, it means making red blocks green - whether it’s true or not
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30. If you’re a senior leader and you walk into a gym full of people working hard and all you see are the people who aren’t wearing their PT uniform, you’re part of the problem
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42. That senior officers tell junior officers to enjoy their jobs because “it’s the best job you’ll ever have.”
If it’s such a downhill ride after this, why the F͟U͟C͟K͟ would I want to stick around?
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8. The idea of the ACFT is a step in the right direction for modernizing and improving our fitness metrics, but a 2 mile run at the end of the test is remnants of the Boomer Army. Some salty general somewhere was mad that these kids were ruining his father’s Army.
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@nibrwr
@combatmeatball
The Army could be an incredible & inclusive place to work if it would just modernize itself
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86. Post/Unit clearing is so silly. Why am I going on a lil scavenger hunt around post to get permission to go somewhere the Army is telling me to go? It’s all connected, man, just let me leave Missouri
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2. Army organizational change is only possible from the top down - from positions that take literally decades to reach. Any enterprising individual will have to suffer through years of purgatory to reach any meaningful position in the Army, regardless of their own competence
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guess who’s problem it is now
88. Brought a legitimate logistical concern to my S3 about our FTX. I gave 3 solutions and asked for guidance
She said it wasn’t a field grade problem and walked away
Next week it will be a field grade problem & a staff captain will have to work it on the spot
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“Hey I know you followed these people specifically, but how about we only show you two posts of those people, and then like fifty ads and a much of related material?”
- Instagram
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Turnpikes are robbery
Turnpikes are so bad. Stitt is just wrong here. The Turnpikes were supposed to eventually be free but get more expensive every year. Billions of dollars in new turnpikes is nuts. Oklahoma doesn't have a highway problem. We can barely support the ones we have.
#okgovdebate
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15. Anytime I don’t submit something by some arbitrary deadline I have to do an additional piece of paperwork called a Letter of Lateness. Motherfucker it’s late because it’s late.
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13. The idea of war in general is gross and its peddled to unsuspecting teenagers as honorable. These kids whose brains aren’t done developing are told it’s honorable to die for a country
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@LethalityJane
I would rather have platoon leaders under my command who are UMO, TCAIMS, and HAZMAT certified than double tabbed with two sets of wings
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My BOLC class had a bar in the hotel we were all staying at. We didn’t go to St Louis or Kansas City or even the small college town 30 minutes away. We walked to the hotel bar every night and rarely left post. Just good friends and cheap beers
It’s really funny that the concept for like 90% of the bars in the country are explicitly that you drive to and from them
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Today is my tenth anniversary in the Army
It’s also my last day in the Army
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Prove to me that my current body would be the same had I not spent 10 years in the Army? Oh you can’t?
Service-related, then - all of it
If you signed up, you volunteered knowing you could be maimed or killed - that you never were, isn’t your fault. Get your benefits
@klap_em
@cptramenqueen
People who served in the military for 6.7 are not eligible for VA benefits. Eligibility for VA services requires either serving until retirement, usually a minimum of 20 years, or a service-related disability.
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You’re telling me people choose to spend one of their two days off work going to church?
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Amelia watches black & white movies like some kinda film nerd
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Idk I kinda hope my daughter doesn’t have to risk her life to pay for an education
This student loan lawsuit is personal for me.
I paid for my education in blood, sweat, and tears in service to my nation, as did so many others.
It’s a slap in the face to every working American to be left with the tab for someone else’s Ivy League debt.
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In college I skipped most of my biology class. The professor did a semester review the day before the final. I went home determined to learn a whole year of biology in one night
I ended up watching all the X Men movies in chronological order
And maybe that’s why I’m in the Army
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25. The general lack of knowing your schedule. When are we leaving for the field? When are we coming home? What’s next month look like? What’s next week look like? WHEN AM I GETTING OFF WORK!? YOU NEVER KNOW
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35. Room and POV inspections. A grown man wants to come dig through my stuff? Motherfucker better be coming with a warrant too.
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This the shit I’m here for
A flamingo named Pink Floyd who escaped a Kansas zoo in 2005 was recently spotted in Texas — after nearly 17 years on the run.
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I just applied for my first civilian job since 2016. Everyone send the good vibes
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12. Working late for the sake of working late. I had a boss once who’d say “it’s only 5pm!” every time I would leave work
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28. The magical percentage of troops that must be present at field exercises translates not to taking care of people but instead only caring about numbers. Cut your toe off? You can sit in the TOC. Pregnant? Well, how far along?
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When I was a PL, one of my best privates got busted for smoking weed. My PSG and I went to bat for him and asked for leniency. He was a great soldier but a young, dumb kid.
Anyways, he just graduated ALC as seen pictured here with that same PSG
You love to see it
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39. Position turnover is too high. Being in a job for one year isn’t enough time. It takes 6 months to actually figure it out and another 6 to get good at the job. Then you’re moved somewhere else and promoted into incompetence.
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Hey thanks for visiting while we have a newborn! We could really use the help. No, we don’t have any activities planned to entertain you. We also don’t have any food in the house, but feel free to go to the sto- oh no it’s okay. You don’t have to. I’ll just go
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10. Any task that comes down after 4pm and is “go home criteria” – actually, anything at all that is considered “go home criteria.” You’re going to stop me from going home if I don’t send you this PowerPoint?? Are you my mom? I can’t play with my toys until I eat my broccoli?
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Watching Top Gun: Maverick the way God intended - on a 7” screen at 35,000 feet
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I married her btw
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@brianjackson502
@LethalityJane
61 days away from a unit to earn a tab that no one who’s ever won a war has worn seems a lot more dumb than 84 days away to raise a newborn. But go off Boomer
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One of my all time favorite activities is going to a bar or brewery by myself. Sitting at the bar alone, crushing my phone’s battery, telling the bartender tall tales. I love it.
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16. The Army issues everyone a cold weather jacket and a rain jacket. But if you’re ever caught wearing them there’s hell to pay. And usually some push ups to do as punishment.
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38. Knowledge management in the Army is laughable at best, criminal at worst. Company XOs, how many days did your replacement get to spend with you to learn the job? I got 2 days to transition to an XO. I got 0 days to be a PL.
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Daycare is cool cause I get to pay money for my child to bring the plague home and then I end up watching her during the day anyways
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“Best country in the world”, I whisper, as I spend three hours a day with my family
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91. Belittling subordinates in a public setting over perceived slights is not the hallmark of a professional organization
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24. I spent a week researching actual Army regulation for dispatches and learned they’re definitely all made up. I then dispatched vehicles for an entire year.
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85. Officer retention is a Division level problem, but it’s also a short suspense so they don’t 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 care
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I just took my last PT test of my Army career. I am gonna drink so many beers
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23. Change of command inventories shouldn’t be the pain that they are. Army regulation directs 30 days of sole-focus inventories. Brigade combat idiots like to whittle that down to maybe 17 days while also making you perform your routine day-to-day job
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@EODHappyCaptain
USAA:
“IMPORTANT DOCUMENT IN YOUR BANKING INBOX!!!”
the document:
“we r ur bank 🙂”
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18. Readiness is a made-up buzzword for field grades to sound smart or like they’re accomplishing anything
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17. All the stupid ass lingo. Tracking. Roger. Hooah. Behoove. Charlie mike. Tango mike. Ate up. Soup sandwich. Battle buddy. Blue falcon. Free chicken. Lethality. High speed. Nut to butt. Pog. Pogey bait. Voluntold. READINESS!!
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71. Commanders have way too much power. If an investigation is returned as “𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍”, you shouldn’t be able to issue a Letter of Concern that remains in my personnel file
Congratulations on eroding any modicum of trust I still had in the system, sir
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I’ve called 2023 the worst year of my life more than I should have & that’s not fair to my beautiful family. It’s been the hardest year of my life, but not the worst - and at the end of it, I love where I’ve been & where I am
𝑾𝒆’𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆’𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆
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43. It’s been 6 years since OCP was introduced and 2 years since UCP was phased out. And we are still issuing UCP gear for Soldiers to go on the world stage in mixed camos looking like fools
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66. The Army does wild overcorrections for the most minor negative events. Someone gets a DUI? Prepare to shut down all operations for a week while we counsel everyone and hold half-assed, mandatory classes led by people who have a barely passable ability to speak to crowds
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