If you think cats don’t care about people, you’ve never experienced living with a creature who thinks you’re going to die every time you get in the shower.

I've always believed having a front row seat to jacket-gate (& Angelina in general) inspired some of Mike White's award winning comedy writing. I am so excited about whatever we're going to get from him sharing a beach with Coach #Survivor #Survivor50

CHRISTIAN ROCKING JOE LIKE A BABY TO KEEP HIM CALMED DOWN LMFAOOO #Survivor #Survivor50

Christian talking in ep 1 about how he’s so proud that his son will see this someday only to shit his pants in ep 2 😭😭😭 #survivor

WE REALLY NEED TO NORMALIZE THE THREE DAY WEEKEND. ONE DAY FOR ACTIVITIES, ONE DAY FOR CLEANING AND ONE DAY FOR REST AND TV BINGING

And for the lady, perhaps a plastic baseball helmet full of ice cream?

tbh, ive faced more peer pressure to eat protein in adulthood than i ever did to take drugs as a teenager

i bet it felt so good to yell HEAR YE HEAR YE in the town square

Mike White is gonna write the greatest White Lotus character in history after being stranded on an island with Coach #Survivor50

mike white getting least eight more seasons of material for the white lotus in one episode of survivor 50

Not now kitten. Mommy’s being haunted by the many versions of herself who will never be because she was too afraid of change

everyone saying “i know this was joe’s idea” is fuckign sending me LMFAOODHDJDB

the concepts of cousins is so funny… who the fuck are you

In high school we had a bit we called "The Orb" where at night we put a bunch of glow sticks in a fish bowl in the middle of the road and if a car slowed down to look at it our friend would come out from behind a tree in his gorilla suit

Ain't gonna lie seeing glitter graphics like this in 2026 is like seeing a cave painting…lost art form 💕

i always panic whenever people ask what i like to do for fun because i actually just enjoy lying down with my cat and going nowhere

WAIT

“You attract what you fear” ohhh noooooo not a fuckin break please God nooo

a very common misconception is that the space between the cats ears is where the brain goes. this is actually wrong. that’s where the kisses go.

Brigley end game tho #tellmelies