Good morning from the Algarve today.

FOOTBALL FANS RETWEET THIS & FOLLOW EVERYBODY WHO RETWEETS INCLUDING ME @LUFC_JMC TO GAIN EVEN MORE FOLLOWERS #Twitter92

‘Joanne has roasted Royal Park Swan in a Boston Duck infused sauce served on a bed of fresh paracetamol…’

So sad seeing the One Day Cup final played in front of an empty Trent Bridge in miserable, grey autumnal conditions. This used to be county cricket’s showpiece event - a massive occasion in front of a packed Lords’. I have nothing but contempt for the ECB & their ruinous Hundred.

Just finished The Ladies Lounge by @GrahamBrack If you've not encountered Czech policeman Slonský do yourself a favour and read the whole series. Erudite, funny, informed, beautifully written. You will not be disappointed

Starmer plays it safe this time and makes Gregg Wallace new US ambassador.

Blyth church, north Nottinghamshire (formerly Blyth Priory till a certain fat tyrant had his way).

Holme Moss from Shevling vineyard, West Yorkshire

The British establishment have all ready covered this new Banksy up. Can we get it Retweeted 10,000 times to show that they can never cover up their complicity in war crimes?? Protect the right to protest! RT!

I had high hopes for King & Conqueror but it was so poor. The actual facts and storyline are amazing enough to have stood without messing with facts, names, events. So many liberties taken I even thought Harold would win at Hastings. A great opportunity missed by BBC.

Should Nigel Farage's dodgy tax dealings be investigated for criminal behaviour? Please RT if you think so.

Barnsley man set to sue as National Emergency Alert test causes him to spontaneously evacuate bowels.

The difference seems to be Rayner made a stupid mistake and accidentally underpaid her tax. Farage on the other hand INTENTIONALLY sought to ensure the tax was succesfully legally dodged. One is deliberate the other a mistake. Whilst you will scream that one is legal - tax

It's a packed house at the Fruehauf stadium today with not a spare seat in the house as @Swallownest_fc take on Newark & Sherwood United.

Off to watch the mighty @Swallownest_fc today away at Newark and Sherwood United in the UCL league cup today. Get down to Grantham (sic!) and support The Swall! #UTS

Let loose on the world today. Please treat it kindly. Talk about it to your friends. Give copies to your enemies. 100% full of words, many of them used correctly. @SapereBooks #SlonskýReturns

What a lovely gentle, wry, intelligent film is the Thursday Murder Club. Stellar cast on top form (except Pierce Brosnan). And the beautiful song Oh Very Young to close with. Thank you @richardosman

💙⚽️ MATCH. DAY! ⚽️💙 🆚@ShirebrookTwnFC 📅20th August ⏰7:45pm KO 🏟️ Swall Siro 🏆 @utdcos 🎟️Adult £6. Conc. £4 10-17 £2 Only assistance dogs permitted in the ground UTS

⚽️💙 UP NEXT💙⚽️ Swall are back in Home Action on Wednesday 20th August v @ShirebrookTwnFC. Come down to the Swall Siro to see @BradJ605,@9ashunited and. @swfc_matt lead the lads out for the @utdcos Division 1 clash. KO 7:45pm.

Still my favourite all time film