Graham Brack
@GrahamBrack
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Crime novelist (publisher @SapereBooks ). Asst curate Grand Union Benefice @Peterboroughdio . Ex-pharmacist. Sunderland lad.
Northamptonshire
Joined August 2012
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Our 3-y-o granddaughter has been taken to hospital during the night. Prayers for her would be appreciated. Her name is Olivia.
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The 2-y-o just met her first tortoise - or, as she called it, hard doggy.
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Dear Friends
A heartfelt thank you to all who have offered prayers for my 3yo granddaughter Olivia. She is out of the operating theatre, and the surgeons believe they have cleared the blockage in her bowel through a keyhole incision. She'll be in hospital 2-3 days to check.
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Yesterday morning I posted a prayer request for my granddaughter Olivia. I hoped to thank everyone individually. However, nearly 7600 people offered prayers and kind thoughts. I am overwhelmed. Please accept my thanks. Olivia is doing well post-op.
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@SteveDoherty1
I was recording a dramatized audiobook. Amateur cast of 4. 1 doesn't arrive, but I say we can double a part. I forgot that this meant actor 2 is going to have to have a long argument with himself, repeatedly interrupting and finally stabbing himself to death with a paperknife.
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My favourite musical gets a makeover. This one number is almost like a musical in itself.
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@GarethWild
This is wonderful - and there is at least a book here, if not a film. The planning, the struggle, the deeply misunderstood hero, the security guards watching it all on CCTV, the sense of mission, and the joy of ultimate achievement.
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@LauraAmalasunta
I met a scholar once who said he had wasted the best part of a summer trying to read a document from the near East before it dawned on him that perhaps he'd found a scribe who couldn't spell. With a couple of conjectures it all made sense.
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Once again, thank you to all (>8000!) who prayed for my 3yo granddaughter
#Olivia
. I am pleased to say that she has just been discharged from hospital and is on her way home.
We have, of course, thanked the staff who have treated and cared for her so lovingly and well.
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Thank you to all those who have been so kind in offering prayers for my 3yo granddaughter. Olivia will be operated on this afternoon to remove a small section of blocked bowel, so please keep praying.
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@katrinanavickas
I was on a train from Euston to Birmingham when they said “We’d like to apologise to First Class passengers for the fact that there is no First Class. If you have a reserved seat in Carriage C, please sit somewhere else because we don’t have a Carriage C either.”
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We are being helped by a retired priest in his late 70s who is supposed to work Sunday plus 2 days a week. This week he has led 5 Carol services, a Christingle, and 3 Eucharists. This morning’s he led from the piano because we had no organist. He is having a little rest this pm.
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@StephenMcGann
At my first school in Kent we all had tokens and there was no difference. As a dinner monitor I didn't know who had paid and who hadn't. When we moved to Essex not only were they different, but the free meals children had to wait until the rest of us had eaten. So wrong.
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Today is a very special day for me. I qualified as a pharmacist on 1 August 1979, and today is my last day on the General Pharmaceutical Council register. It's been fun, I enjoyed that career, and I'd do it again if I were young enough, but now I have other things to do.
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@charrrbennett
Just because we do not know the right thing to say is not a reason not to try to say something. I am glad that you were blessed with this little comet who blazed brightly, briefly before you and will be talked about long after she is gone from sight. I offer my prayers for you.
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@SteveDoherty1
He did well, but the rest of us were feeling a bit sheepish watching him doing all the work by himself. A sound-only fight is hard enough to make convincing, but when it only has one participant...
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X can be a horrible place but today you came up trumps when I needed you. Your willingness to pray for a little stranger who means so much to me is wonderful. Please keep praying and know that it makes a difference. I'll offer thanks for all of you by name.
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@RevRichardColes
When Mum was widowed, she didn't bother to cook for herself. Then she decided this wouldn't do, and found another widow nearby. They took it in turns to cook for two. I thought that was wonderful because it forced them to make the effort and gave them some company. 1/2
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Last night almost 20% of the medicines our pharmacy ordered were out of stock at all 3 wholesalers. This has been normal for the past couple of years or more. So can someone explain to me exactly how this stockpiling of medicines is going to work?
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@RevRichardColes
My wife puts slices in a dish, tops them with some halved cherry tomatoes and feta cubes, drizzles oil over them, bakes them gently in the oven and serves with warm bread. It may be my favourite food.
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@RevRichardColes
Her friend became so much part of the family that when we had a big family celebration for Mum's 80th, we invited Kath too. This may not be the answer for you, but I hope it will for someone who reads it. 2/2
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Today I have been married for 41 years (and so has my wife). If she’s had half the fun she has given me, we’ve both had a great time. I regularly congratulate myself on making a good pick.
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@MarianKeyes
After 40 years as a community pharmacist I've heard it described in many different ways. Three stick out - the woman who told me she had an ulcer right on her sixpence, one who talked about her doodah, and one who said she had an itchy volvo.
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After 627 days on Duolingo I have completed the Czech skills tree. I can now hold a conversation with any passing three-year-old Czech, provided he is not too intelligent and has a limited vocabulary.
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@AuntyFeeble
@GarethWild
And that terrible moment in 2018 when Sainsbury's announced they were going to re-mark the car park...
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Unreasonably excited about this.
Thanks to
@LJRossAuthor
who dreamed up the project, and to
@RCArmitage
for agreeing to read (along with many others!). Hope it's helping
@Shelter
.
Please empty your piggy banks in a good cause.
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My two smaller granddaughters tell me I go to what they call Vicar school. Today I got to wear my new school uniform for the first time.
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@AuntyFeeble
@GarethWild
Also we have not only the high tech spreadsheet, but also, in a hidden room under the house, a scale model of the local Sainsbury's, complete with little figures pushing shopping trolleys.
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The 5-y-o tells me that she has seen a programme on TV where teddy bears come to life while people are asleep, and she thinks that her bears may be doing the same and making a mess in her bedroom that she gets blamed for.
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@DrJessTaylor
My mum died 13 years ago, but well into my forties she was still asking me if I needed the toilet before we went out. I tried to explain that I'd been managing that pretty well for some time by myself.
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Tomorrow is the big day! Audiobook release, and there are free copies to be won at The Reading Agency’s instagram page and
@LJRossAuthor
. Fans of
@RCArmitage
take note! Good luck!
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@valmcdermid
Originally knocker back chairs were sited in the hallways of large houses so visitors who had been asked to wait could summon a servant. Having one meant 1 I have a big house and 2 I have servants, therefore copied by the aspirant middle classes as being something posh folk have.
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Today my wife and I clock up 42 years of marriage. Clearly I made a top choice all that time ago and I am amazed at my own perspicacity in spotting a good ‘un. She is a treasure and I am glad to have bound my life to hers.
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The 2-y-o granddaughter and her sister came for a visit. When it was time to go home she asked "Bandad, you help find my wellies?". "Of course, dear," I said. "Where did you last see them?"
"On my feets when I camed."
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@henrywinter
@GaryLineker
The trouble is that there is no prospect that anyone in the meeting can influence the problem, given that they apparently weren’t involved in the decision in the first place. The D-G has painted the BBC into a corner.
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Today I have been married 39 years. (By a happy coincidence so has my wife.) This remains by some distance the best appointment I have ever made. The 39 years have flown by wreathed in happiness.
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@Edinburgensis
@BarristerSecret
We had a second meaningful vote about eating vegetables with our granddaughter tonight after I had issued a clarification on the status of peas, but she is holding out for a no peas deal.
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The 6-y-o has discovered indoor bowls on the television and is sitting transfixed. She is now offering commentary like “He needs to roll that harder” or “That’s not bendy enough”. She’s even adding up the scores without complaining that it’s maths.
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The 2-y-o has shown a fine concern for my safety by banging on the toilet door while I'm in there and shouting "Bandad - hold seat so not fall in!"
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Since 7.16 this morning I have been the grandfather of a third little girl. Mother and baby in excellent form.
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@RevRichardColes
I love the Fairhaven URC white church near Lytham St Anne's. It looks as if the architect was leafing through his holiday pics and thought "Hang on a mo..."
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@JudieannRose
The 3-y-o’s attempts to explain the world. Yesterday she told me that at preschool they had learned about caterpillars and doctors. Caterpillars can turn into butterflies but doctors can’t. Delivered in a tone suggesting a defect in medical training.
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@SorrelMayWood
We used to keep our toddler son amused by taking a book for him to read. One day he excitedly yelled “Pig!” as the minister mounted the pulpit. Several members of the congregation topped up his pocket money that day.
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Isn't it amazing how many young women these days take time off from getting fully dressed to like my posts about the Church of England and theology?
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The 2-y-o has summed up her visit to my ordination at Peterborough Cathedral yesterday. "Bandad go big church, wear black dress and white dress. Then we have tikken nuggets and ice cream." This last said with a smile of enormous dimensions.
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My wife's last day as a pharmacist before she retires from the register. I suspect she will be more emotional after 40 years than she thinks. Meanwhile, intrepid male hunter has braved the icy wastes of Waitrose and returned with dinner.
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Dear linguistics Twitter,
Can anyone explain why bear in Russian is медведь (=medved') whereas bear is Ukrainian is ведмідь (=vedmid')? Presumably they had a common ancestor?
@DannyBate4
- looking to you!
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@katherineschof8
I had three Zoom meetings this afternoon. During the second, my wife slipped in with a coffee and a very large slice of lemon cake, which brought the discussion to a halt as it was admired.
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Today is our 40th wedding anniversary, which is a great testimony to Gillian’s tolerance. She is, by some distance, the best choice I ever made.
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@daraobriain
@gsmum
In my early days as a hospital pharmacist I used to hate wearing a plastic coverall suit, boots, gloves, visor and mask in a room at 95 degrees. But I hated being splashed by boiling disinfectant more.
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BBC reporting that Conservative MPs are scrolling Twitter to gauge reaction to the PM’s statement. So here’s mine: these little children are showing more responsibility than the PM ever did.
While the law-makers at
#DowningStreet
were partying EVERY fckin week, THIS is what our kids had to do at nursery
#partyGate
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I spent the other evening with a lovely troop of Beavers in our local scout hut, so when I heard today I’d been awarded my Postgraduate Diploma in theology, ministry and mission my first thought was to wonder if I get a badge to sew on my cassock sleeve.
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Double take on passing our nativity in the hallway, because the previously empty crib now contains a sheep. Upon enquiry, the 3-y-o tells me she put it there "In case of get cold."
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@katyballs
In all my years in business the one sure thing was that a meeting at 5.30 on a Friday evening was bad news.
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@JaneyGodley
I lived in Aberdeen for four years, and my son lived in Glasgow for four. I can’t say we never had any anti-English rubbish but it was heavily outweighed by friendliness and a welcome. And when I go back now it’s exactly the same. Love my visits.
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My first parish cake sale at St Margaret’s, Alderton. They don’t do things by half.
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I bought an amice online (which, for those new to this, is a white cloth rather like a hairdresser's cape worn to celebrate Mass). The "if you bought this you'll like this" algorithm is now offering me a black lace shrug and a pink feather boa. I doubt that these are canonical.
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@ShelaghFogarty
That Coffey was still retained. The appointment of Braverman was more a “leap across the room and smash the radio to bits” moment.
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Eleven changes for England v Andorra. Unfortunately Sam Matterface isn't one of them.
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For the first time I can remember I’ve won something at the church fête.
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@DrJessTaylor
My wife and I are 65 and we are definitely still parents, not to mention being grandparents. In fact, I'm typing this while watching our 4-m-o granddaughter trying to crawl. We get regular calls asking for advice, help or just a chat and we wouldn't have it any other way.
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A little thread about appearances and expectations, arising from an earlier post about an assistant at M&S.
I knew a couple who were both doctors. She was ethnic Chinese, but came here as an infant. Her parents believed that the way to get on was to assimilate, so they didn't
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6-y-o in tears. It seems the 3-y-o told her that she wasn't her friend. "Is this true?" I ask. "Yes," says 3-y-o. "I not her friend." Then, after a pause for effect, she added "I not her friend. I her sister."
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@EdelaQuintaine
@PetrocTrelawny
@marksandspencer
If teacakes were only available at teatime, I could understand the restriction, but have we sunk so far that people are offered teacakes for breakfast?
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@cbssaturday
@haleyjoelleott
It's my favourite channel. It recreates children's Saturday mornings at the cinema, it shows some social history, it reminds us of things we've forgotten - and for some people with memory difficulties, it gives them an anchor.
And you see people buying lunch for $1.50.
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"Our client is deeply sorry that she may have handed a classified document to her milkman. She also wishes us to make clear that she did not intend to ask the Head of the Security Services to deliver two extra pints and a yoghurt."
#Sacked
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@MickvanNergens
The first politician for whom the phrase "Lying in State" is entirely appropriate.
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Moved into our new home this morning, and the first thing the post lady brought was a mailing from Pharmacy2U. Really handy because it meant we didn’t have to remember which crate had the toilet rolls in it.
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I'm a Self-Supporting Minister and I've been working part-time in a parish for six whole months. When I do get interviewed for a bishopric?
Exclusive w/
@HarryFarley_
Paula Vennells, the former Post Office CEO, nearly became Bishop of London in 2017.
She was on a three-person shortlist interviewed for the role - the third most senior in the Church of England.
CofE declined to comment.
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@GirlsOwn
After losing his seat in the General Election Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg was reduced to playing a pantomime dame in the Ex-MPs' Repertory Company's production of Dickens' "Little Dorries"
#GirlsOwnCC
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This annoys me. There should be a national school uniform (white top, black/grey trousers/skirts) that is acceptable in all state schools, with distinguishing badges on velcro patches or ties if needed.
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A tale of a tie. Around 25 years ago I was complaining that I couldn’t find a Christmas tie that showed the Nativity, so my little daughter painted me one, and every Christmas it comes out amid great pride.
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@Specsavers
@englandcricket
@jackleach1991
If you produce Jack Leach cleaning cloths and sell them for charity I'll have some. There must be kids who, like me, didn't wear their glasses for cricket in case they got broken. Opportunity here to get those children into sport.
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@JoRust45
@RussRunRide
@Edinburgensis
@BarristerSecret
I think her concern is that if she accepts any kind of vegetable I may at some stage implement a broccoli backstop from which she could not unilaterally withdraw.
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Thirteen years ago today my mum died. She gave me my love of books, taught me to read, and was thrilled when my first writing was published. The good memories are too many to be sad, and she would not have wanted that anyway. So I’m not sad, just proud.
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A few weeks ago I tweeted about medicines shortages. An update today; out of 117 lines that we ordered last night, we've received 76. That's 41 lines not in stock at any of the three major wholesalers or 35%. I'd love to say that's unusual, but...
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@RevRichardColes
Tesco sell little "ready to steam" packs of it in their frozen foods section. This is to be recommended because it makes it much easier to throw away once you've cooked it.
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It is 28 years today since my father died. Remembered with great love and respect. He died just after a doctor at the hospital had told him he was fit to go home, thus, as my brother-in-law said, dying as he would have wanted, proving some highly-paid professional wrong.
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Anyway who pines for imperial weights and measures never tried to work out the Purchase Tax on 325.2 feet of imported pine at 2/11 per foot.
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I have discovered that during the 1 hr 45 of my Ordination service on Sunday, my 5-y-o granddaughter found a pencil and prayer card which said "What do you want to ask God for?" and wrote "A bed" in her best handwriting.
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@GirlsOwn
"If you'd gone down on one knee like you're supposed to you wouldn't have dropped the ring in the hay in the first place."
#GirlsOwnCC
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I can now let it be known that I will be serving my curacy in the Grand Union Benefice (Blisworth, Stoke Bruerne with Shutlanger, Grafton Regis, Alderton and Milton Malsor). Still 6 months away, but good that it's settled.
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Now that we're into the last 4 weeks, perhaps I could ask for prayers from those who pray for my ordination as a Deacon.
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@Xrayser
@DullPharmacist
I’d be thioridazine. People vaguely remember that they may have once come across me but they can’t remember exactly what I do or why I went out of fashion like so many things from the fifties.
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Chinese waiters would naturally speak to her. She didn't know what they were saying, but her husband would reply. The waiters would blink, assume they'd misheard, and try again. They couldn't believe that the Chinese lady didn't speak Chinese but the red mountain beside her did.
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@davidallengreen
Priti Patel on Radio 5 believes this is possible because 98% of UK customs transactions are now electronic. This is true provided there is no difference between a sea and a hole in a hedge.
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@revkatebottley
When I was measured at Wippells, there was an elderly clergyman pleading that "I really think my present cassock will see me out, my dear"; to which his wife replied "Nonsense, Henry. You are being compared unfavourably to the Archdeacon, and we all know what a mess he is."
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A period of Twitter silence is about to issue from me because I am on a week-long summer school as I start training for ordination. Thoughts and prayers welcome. Car loaded with essential liturgical items like books and flapjacks.
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The 3-y-o whispered to me “I need wrap a peasant for Bandma. You got smellotape?”
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@RABulgaria
@RCArmitage
@Shelter
@dleadbeater2011
@cmacwritescrime
@robparkerauthor
As one of the lucky authors I have the list of narrators! There are six that he is reading or has read - I don't know if he has recorded them all yet.
The other two are
UNFORGETTABLE byRob Scragg
THE RESERVOIR by Will Dean
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A beautiful morning here in Northamptonshire. Off to the local school despite 3-y-o’s insistence that school is for children, not for Bandads.
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In the light of Jeremy Clarkson’s comments I just want to say that despite being a 60+ year old white man I have never felt like throwing excrement at any naked woman, and I can’t see that changing now. I wonder how his mind works?
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My favourite Christmas meme. As I am likely to be quite busy over the next few days may I wish all who bother to read my ramblings a Happy, Blessed and Peaceful Christmas.
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