For the first time I have a deadline for a novel, and after a long day slaving over a hot keyboard I have passed the 70% mark in the word budget. And Mercurius still doesn't have a clue what is going on around him, except that he doesn't like it.

Well, wouldn't you know it! Another very similar email today, but from a friend I know cannot be abroad on holiday because he is in hospital in the West Midlands. It's almost as if it has become a battle of wits - or, in the scammer's case, half-wits.

Given that one of my tweets got 102k likes and added many new followers, I'd be stupid not to push my crime novels containing the same kind of humour. Let's start with the first - great holiday reading and the price of around an inch of coffee these days.

I've just noticed that when one particular person sends me a message she carefully puts a full stop after the last emoji.

Received an email from a friend. It seems he's on holiday, lost his passport and wallet and to top it all he's lost his voice and can't talk on the phone. Could i bail him out with a bank transfer?.He's having a rough time, with all this coming on top of his having died in 2024.

The granddaughters are going on holiday with Mummy and Daddy on Saturday if they don't spontaneously explode with excitement before then. They have decanted their piggy banks into their purses and I'm surprised the 7-y-o can walk with hers.

The 5-y-o has been showing me her backpack which she has packed in anticipation of the family holiday. She has books, snacks, a cuddly toy, her headphones, sunglasses and a roll of duct tape. My father would have been so proud.

So sad to hear that Tom Lehrer has died. I suppose pigeons will be rejoicing.

A little snippet in the post-match interviews from the Lionesses that I thought worthy of comment. If the penalties had gone to sudden death, Jess Carter was going to take no.6. That shows great courage and the team's belief in her. #Lionesses.

A day off in parish, and despite grandparenting duties I have managed to write over 3000 words of Mercurius' 9th adventure.

Looking at the CNORIS annual report cnoris-annual-report-2023-2024-published.pdf, NHS Fife accounted for 6.6% of its payouts with 34 claims. But according to Scotgov's accounts it has 5.88% of the NHS budget. If that's a proxy for activity it's already a riskier Health Board.

But those contributions depend on the body’s risk profile. In other words, if big claims are made against you, you’re a bigger risk so your proportion of the costs increase in future. That’s how it worked in England in my day.

Perhaps someone can clarify something for me about NHS Fife’s costs. They repeatedly say that they are only liable for the first £25k. The rest is paid by CNORIS which is a risk pooling scheme into which all Scot NHS bodies pay. I get that.

On Monday I had three primary school leavers' services in our churches. When the Rector returns he may question me about our tissues bill for the month.

I would be tempted to follow this up by asking if she was assigned as a human being.

Today will be mainly about primary school leaver services - three of them!.

Correction: it was a 5th and 8th birthday present to them but I am reminded that the older one isn't 8 until August.

A fabulous morning in the rain watching my granddaughters (5 and 8) having their first driving lesson in a Firefly. The excitement in the 5-y-o’s face at having reversed into a parking space was wonderful. And I saw far worse driving on the M1 getting there.

Reading the various NHS Fife statements reminds me of a time when I was at dinner next to a solicitor who received a call. I have no idea what was said at the other end, but it was entertaining to hear him say “I see”, “You said what?” and ���Please say no more until I get there.”.

Reading the reports of the employment tribunal involving Ms Peggie and NHS Fife, I can't help feeling a) this is horribly familiar and b) the safest thing to do is dissolve NHS Fife and merge it into Tayside or Forth Valley because clearly the managers we're seeing are awful.