B.J. Novak Profile Banner
B.J. Novak Profile
B.J. Novak

@bjnovak

Followers
1,243,430
Following
1,002
Media
294
Statuses
9,117
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
What did you think of Inglourious Basterds?
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
11 years
Django Unchained is the most racist movie I have ever seen, it sucked!
4K
18K
19K
1K
61K
197K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
When I met @mindykaling she lived in a small apartment on Fairfax Ave. This is what’s in front of that building today. Congrats Mindy and a future congrats to all those who see you in it and are inspired to do great things. @WrinkleInTime
Tweet media one
452
14K
148K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
I'm starting to think maybe we shouldn't have built our whole country on an Indian burial ground
379
35K
135K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
I don't know about you but I plan on staring directly at the sun
351
43K
111K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
Be careful out there
Tweet media one
177
35K
111K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
No prob = no problem All good = continue as you are but you are dead to me
244
10K
107K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Love Valentine’s Day, love New Year’s Eve, love taking the SATs, just love high pressure situations and extreme expectations in general
158
18K
94K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Dogs should judge the dog show
284
20K
92K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
My dad, a Canadian: “I can’t believe Americans turned a single meal into a five day holiday”
297
5K
90K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
Can we check Best Actor again
303
32K
70K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Um, this feels personal
Tweet media one
239
9K
67K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
What a time to be half-alive
115
8K
54K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Don’t you love when the other person checks their phone and you’re like “don’t mind if I do”
80
7K
53K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
If you want two men to have a heart to heart just put a microphone in front of them and tell them it’s a podcast
161
4K
53K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
💔
257
966
43K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
Now what
158
11K
38K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
@rainnwilson Lock me up
Tweet media one
190
679
39K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
Is applesauce the only sauce that people are supposed eat by itself?Please share widely
327
9K
34K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Sun Chips should have Vitamin D. That’s all I have to contribute to the world today
77
4K
30K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
The world may not revolve around you, but the moon does
129
7K
29K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
10 years
Happy Anniversary to Ryan & Kelly. http://t.co/i8BBRgkLUC
Tweet media one
477
24K
28K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Not to go all Kanye, but: pepper doesn’t deserve to be on every restaurant table next to salt
341
3K
28K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
“Welcome to our house. Here are the four nearly identical giant remote controls for the TV. This one has the power button, this one changes channels, this one is for volume, and this one we don’t know what it does”
148
3K
27K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
An extra hour is the last thing I need right now
106
5K
26K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
I must admit I will miss texting STOP so many times a day
119
2K
26K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Kids: skip your summer reading. No one is going to check. Read whatever you want
194
3K
26K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
If you give me food in a container you will never get the container back, I don’t care if it is diamond encrusted Tupperware that has been in your family for generations
299
2K
26K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
I have always and will always love Bob Saget.
@bobsaget
bob saget
2 years
Special New EP Today with my friend @bjnovak — Loved talking with B.J. so much about The Office, his movie roles, @ThePremise -his show I love on FX on Hulu, and more- He’s so dammed funny and talented. @allthingscomedy @ApplePodcasts
78
340
5K
243
1K
24K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
I've decided to give up drinking for the rest of the night
147
3K
24K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
“Did you unsubscribe by accident?” Just take the L
72
1K
22K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
Remember to wash your hands with soap and water for twenty seconds. And, before biting an apple, rub it briefly on the shirt you’ve been wearing all day
110
1K
22K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
I’m on my phone 16 hours a day? Great, that means I’m getting a solid 8 hours sleep
77
2K
21K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
@mindykaling please don’t talk about me like this
34
181
21K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
It’s down to a dollar?
81
1K
20K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
I guess I'm a genius because I actually had a bad feeling about this guy quite a while ago
51
3K
19K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
I miss the old Donald The Home Alone Donald
84
3K
19K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
Tweet media one
43
4K
19K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
Enough with the QR code menus, seriously
351
2K
19K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
@danabeers Straight up brag if you ask me
56
217
19K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
Okay, this year’s over, I’m calling it
115
2K
19K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
I could live on bread alone
399
2K
19K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
No romaine lettuce? You don’t have to tell me twice
100
2K
18K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
Vaping is bad for you? Now I’ve heard everything
157
1K
18K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Like we’re not all just going to be on our phones for this extra hour
62
2K
18K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
It was so much fun, Bob. For everyone who knew you. It was just so much fun. You loved everyone and everyone loved you. And always will. You are still here.
44
311
18K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
A full moon on Halloween? Everything’s going right this year
114
1K
17K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
8 years
Tweet media one
81
8K
17K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
wait... why was this not a storyline?! 💞
@AngelaKinsey
Angela Kinsey🍩
5 years
Happy Birthday @bjnovak ! I love this photo of us all dolled up and will probably post it every year on your birthday. Yay! Hope you are having a great day!😘🎂🎉
Tweet media one
42
154
9K
79
388
16K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
@mindykaling please give me five fucking minutes to respond to a text
102
2K
16K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
so you’re telling me they had solid wifi on a space shuttle
86
1K
15K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
9 years
YOU'RE NOT INVISIBLE TO ME @MINDYKALING ❤️
475
5K
15K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
Twenty more minutes of fly jokes guys, let’s keep it moving
160
641
13K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
I am so excited to announce the premiere of my long awaited comedy anthology series. (long awaited by me) B.J. Novak Presents: The Premise Sept. 16. @FXNetworks @hulu
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
169
528
13K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
Your writing keeps getting better with everything you do. I have one question: how dare you.
@mindykaling
Mindy Kaling
4 years
TODAY IS THE DAY! My new collection of essays, Nothing Like I Imagined is out on Amazon! These were SO MUCH FUN to write and I hope you enjoy them. Check them out and let me know what you think! @AmazonPub
57
140
2K
60
346
13K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Plastic straws are wasteful. Paper straws are, too. Aluminum straws are expensive. But I know this much: we need some sort of tubing system
275
1K
12K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
My phone can hold twenty hours of podcasts I forgot to erase but apparently not more than about six voicemails at the same time
78
688
12K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
If I win this 1.6 billion dollar jackpot and have to split it with like 20 people I’m gonna be so fucking pissed
64
888
12K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
Hit retweet if you are having trouble sleeping at night (going for a million retweets here)
188
12K
12K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
They died doing what they loved, missing 3’s
50
1K
12K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
8 years
Chip card readers are the hand dryers of financial transactions
59
5K
11K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
My Delta flight is less than an hour which I believe means there will be a single unbroken stream of announcements
47
242
11K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
Dentists are obsessed with teeth
126
1K
10K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
I was born to be a good friend and then you said that you were going to be a little late
@flibbradigibbet
Brád (B.A.)
7 years
Type “I was born” and then let your predictive write your autobiography.
20K
2K
10K
252
731
10K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Idiots
55
3K
10K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
12:34 is better than 11:11. How do we get this changed
92
2K
10K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
Tweet media one
43
1K
10K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
WHY DO THEY EVEN HAVE CUSTOMER COPY
105
731
9K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
I'm sorry they won't let you use the words you want to use
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
7 years
If the ban were announced with a one week notice, the "bad" would rush into our country during that week. A lot of bad "dudes" out there!
37K
22K
115K
85
2K
9K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Fuck yeah @JordanPeele
9
702
9K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
It felt wonderful to be asked “how are you feeling?” this morning before I realized this was our production’s COVID coordinator and this was mandatory question
38
311
9K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
I will watch Squid Game when I watch Squid Game
81
616
9K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
I am aware that it is almost impossible to tell you less about a show.
@FXNetworks
FX Networks
3 years
from the mind of @bjnovak comes a new innovative scripted anthology series that tells character-driven stories about the world we live in today. premieres september 16 exclusively on #FXonHulu
Tweet media one
5
55
467
81
177
9K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
9 years
I love this picture of @Pontifex in his traditional black & blue http://t.co/expPJ93HPg
Tweet media one
209
6K
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
The moon seems to have gotten a new PR team in the past couple of years
58
517
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
This is a president who loves – loves – saying inflammatory things to divide Americans
84
950
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
@mindykaling Dr. Crentist?
83
268
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
My top songs were bad
110
449
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
Why is “coffeehouse” music so soft & gentle? Shouldn’t it be trying to get you AMPED
156
771
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
Sending a Microsoft Teams link is an act of aggression
71
719
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
It’s confusing because the Warriors’ style of play feels cavalier and the Cavaliers play like more like warriors
70
839
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
9 years
If you're an American and you know the metric system you're a drug dealer
165
3K
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
3 years
It’s on @hulu . It’s made by FX. I have told you this many times
70
136
8K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Do you ever break a plate at a restaurant just because you need applause
83
648
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
It is time for us as a society to talk about Scott’s Tots
@earwolf
Earwolf
2 years
Angela and Jenna are joined by @bjnovak to break down "Scott's Tots" on this week's @officeladiespod !
Tweet media one
11
2
212
126
273
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
@SteveCarell I'll turn my car around
27
2K
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
9 years
Good luck getting our attention today, ISIS
90
4K
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
The greatest show in the history of television is Sesame Street
156
854
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
10 years
This Mother's Day, give your mother the gift of broadcasting your love for her on a social media platform she doesn't understand.
81
6K
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
This is my dream show. I can’t wait to make it. Thank you @FXNetworks
@Variety
Variety
4 years
BJ Novak Anthology Series Gets Greenlight at FX
9
39
613
72
137
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
7 years
Want to hear something really crazy? All the Halloween stuff you see popping up already is for NEXT Halloween
31
968
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
I’m sick of fake people, with their 555 phone numbers
51
598
7K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
Soar, Loser
45
1K
6K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
@MeredthSalenger @mindykaling @VanityFair Thank you! I think Mindy looked great, too
15
84
6K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
2 years
Got worried for a second when I saw Elmo trending
38
221
6K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
6 years
I don’t mean to be cynical but sometimes it almost feels like Nabisco invented National Oreo Day
38
543
6K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
8 years
Tuesday is a day you will be asked about for the rest of your life. Don't say that you didn't make a choice.
43
2K
6K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
4 years
I was so excited to recommend this funny, heartfelt, intelligent, unpredictable and inspired little TV show that my friend made... then found out it’s, like, literally the most popular shown in the fuckin’ world. Congrats @mindykaling @loulielang @neverhaveiever
Tweet media one
37
143
6K
@bjnovak
B.J. Novak
5 years
I fucking hate Live Photos
149
530
6K