anus
@anustasiya
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what are the odds that the guy who wrote the most Kafkaesque stories was called Franz Kafka
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whoever says the r word first in a relationship holds all the power
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people who can’t cook are a special kind of stupid, just pull up a fucking recipe the instructions are literally right there
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can I say something…
Learning and exposing the dark truth about 9/11 can take a toll on your health
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Men used to send nut vids with sound… Now all they do is tweet and cook in groupchats
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i DON’T care.
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real men don’t shower
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guy just approached me on the street and asked me if I needed a slave 👍
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trying to work at a cafe in a trendy neighbourhood but the table next to me is a group of they/thems wearing carhartt and arc’teryx loudly talking about communism
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staying home and getting really bad fomo after the weird kid tells me “don’t come to school tomorrow”
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thinking of creating a monkey chat where you can only send pics of monkeys/apes, tap in folks
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just adopted a manlet, any advice on training him? Should I keep him crated?
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the hardest part about working from home is that there’s no weird guy here telling me that my hair smells nice
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Telling the pharmacist I’m here to pick up my prescription and they hand me a gun with a single bullet loaded in the chamber
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coffee isn't hitting like it used to I'm going to have to start slapping myself in the face
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doing this with a regular hamster
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Very sad to announce that my dad has failed the “don’t comment on my weight” challenge
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At the beach. For every girl skinnier than me I load a bullet in the chamber. For every girl bigger than me I take one out.
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if Ferris Bueller's Day Off was set in 2015 Ferris would probably vape
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the universe is so vast and im so insignificant and i also didn't do any homework
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[sweaty neet mouth breathing while typing on a mechanical keyboard] uh oh i hope i don’t get drafted
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do NOT try this
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If the groundhog sees his shadow, he gets sucked. If the groundhog doesn’t see his shadow, he gets fucked.
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vaxxed?
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Some ableist words you should probably cut out of your vocabulary...bc they're ableist:
- Stinky
- Smelly
- Doodoo head
- Butt licker
- Fart sniffer
- Cock smoker
- Butt muncher
- Dumbo
There are many more, and if anyone wants add some, feel free to below!
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employers should hand out prescriptions for antidepressants to keep us happy and make us look forward to work
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