anna melissa 🍉✨
@annamelissa
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Following
3,338
Media
14,379
Statuses
145,280
lady in the streets, gangsta in deez tweets. live, laugh, toaster bath. #CatchLobsNotFeelings 🌸
Los Angeles, California
Joined February 2009
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Pinned Tweet
REMAIN CALM.
How Emotional Intelligence And Cultural Relevance Builds Brands With Anna Melissa
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my mom: “whose wingstop shoes are those?!”
my brother: “what wingstop shoes?!”
my mom: “those shoes!!!” *points*
y’all…. i’m screaming. 💀
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i can’t believe y’all thirsted over that mediocre mayo man on tiktok so much that y’all got him a netflix special where his first joke was about how if a woman could cook, she wouldn’t have a black eye
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speak for yourself it’s january 1st and i’m reporting for duty
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@theallygreen
@VICE
keep in mind that if you’re california based & you had a specific pay date, the dept of labor says they also owe you time and a half for every day that they don’t pay you.
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yes. my best friend. 15 years & counting.
we’re old af now. 😭😂
Does anybody have some wholesome stories about meeting people on this app in person?
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we’re not getting cropped on mobile anymore so pls look at the best photo i’ve ever taken. 🏀
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men on dating apps will be like: “looking for someone that loves sports, loves to workout, is health conscious & competitive.”
like bro do you want a girlfriend or a point guard
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translation: “i don’t cater to women because i’m actually a misogynist & i hate them. dOmeStiC viOlEncE aM i RiGht BoiZ
Matt Rife on his Netflix special: “One thing that I wanted to tackle in this special was showing people that despite what you think about me online, I don’t pander my career to women. I would argue this special is way more for guys.”
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✨sOMe pERsoNaL nEWs✨
this one is forreal this time. 💀
ya girl is
@nike
’s new copywriter, focusing on mission, purpose, and innovation.
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Wide-legged jeans are back to hide a year of pandemic pounds
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me crying in the shower because i made up a scenario in my head & hurt my own feelings
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no one really talks about the loneliness that comes with adulthood once you leave your early to mid 20’s. when you don’t have a partner, your friends either moved away or got married & had kids. & all the people that kept you company over the yrs just aren’t on the same timeline.
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why do they call it post nut clarity and not cumming to your senses
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crying & recording yourself so you can post it on social media is actually insane behavior.
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i was a troubled teen. i got suspended for fighting a lot. he knew i had an extremely abusive parent & no one was showing up for me.
so he’d speed down 20 miles from shootaround on gamedays to see me get awards at school & then drive back to make it back in time for his games
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me when i say when i actually
i can work have to work
under pressure under pressure
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working in corporate america is like getting paid to do group projects every day until you die.
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dude, having a great manager that’s invested in your success is life changing.
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“you don’t need the sneakers you already have 200 pairs.”
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having to work to exist on earth. we’re the only living things on this planet that charge each other to exist.
What’s a scam that’s become so normalized that we don’t realize it’s a scam anymore?
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this the outfit you wear when you got a skype interview
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3 of my friends got engaged today.
meanwhile, i had a breakfast burrito delivered to my house because i was too much of a piece of shit to drive 2 miles.
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nevermind, i got it
can someone help me?
i can’t get this pic to fit into my header ☹️
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women’s fragrance names: lavender, vanilla rose, daisy fresh
men’s fragrance names:
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someone on tiktok said that drake’s tattoos look like a zoom meeting.
💀💀😭😭😭
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thinking about the baker that entertained my ridiculous request for a loaf of sourdough with this on it.
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💕 some personal news 💕
starting next week, i’ll be leading social creative for ✨🌸 nike women 🌸✨.
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i got an email that said, “anna melissa will be your primary POC” and i thought they were assigning me to a white person. 🥲
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lebron is a live laugh love woman stuck in a 6’9” athlete’s body.
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when you submit work you’re really proud of & the response is, “this is a great start!!!!”
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starting a new job while WFH is weird.
how am i supposed to set the tone with my outfits
i need people to see my shoes
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I’M A HOMEOWNER LMAOOO
AND I DID IT BY MYSELF
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO
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god now people are QTing me with hashtags. GO AWAY. THIS IS NOT A SAFE SPACE.
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y’all remember catch lobs not feelings? well it’s in
@Forbes
. 💀
also me. i am in forbes.
thank you
@GoldieChan
. 💚💙
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idk how to explain this, but there’s marketing twitter & then there’s used car salesman marketing twitter.
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khloe kardashian after a long day of cosplaying as a racially ambiguous woman
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woke up to a push notification with my words on the nike app. 🥲
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did i need this? no. did i buy it anyway? absolutely.
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I GOT PROMOTED!!!!
I’M THE NEW NARRATIVE MANAGER FOR THE PURPOSE, ATHLETES, & WAFFLE IRON ENTERTAINMENT STUDIO
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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i don’t think i’ll ever take pictures better than these. i peaked too early.
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so much conversation around who the murderer was, not much about the women whose lives were lost & the families that have to grieve while the media humanizes the monster that took away their mothers, daughters, & sisters.
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young professionals: never emotionally attach yourself to a job, or a specific company. attach yourself to a goal or vision.
if something doesn’t support your vision, your goal, and no longer aligns with your values, let it go.
it’s okay to find peace in walking away.
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my entire family back together for dinner for the first time in years 🥺💜
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“do we have anna melissa on the call?”
me with my camera off:
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i graduated from college with $175k in student debt.
i have about $120k left & i’m not even using that degree.
why did i even go to college lmfao
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since a lot of my mutuals are watching the malice at the palace doc, it’s story time.
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he’s not even doing or saying anything wrong. this chick is lame for recording this shit. bye.
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i’m fucking screaming. this is why they will never let me run twitter accounts. because i would do this.
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i’m not even going anywhere bro. but i want y’all to see this hair with a full glam. 😂😂😂
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when you try to tear gas asians but they know science 💀
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your mcm took a 35mm photo of a rapper, changed his instagram account to a business profile, & put “creative director” in his bio, but has no idea what the word “deliverable” means.
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today marks the 14 year anniversary of my attempted suicide. i’ve come so far, but still have so much work to do. thank you all for loving me the way you do.
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diversity scares so many white people because a lot of them are afraid of their own mediocrity.
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the agency that didn’t wanna hire me now has me telling them what to do LMAO. sucks to suck.
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i left my phone on the floor & my dogs stepped on it. look at them LMFAO
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y’all remember when laura dern & baron davis were a thing???? weirdest couple i’ve ever seen.
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people love having conversations about mental health until someone sets a boundary that no longer benefits them.
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if you’ve started a new job during the pandemic, do you also get this weird feeling where it hasn’t hit you yet that you have a new job?
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i can’t believe i almost paid $400 for my prescription when i remembered that
@mcuban
had
@costplusdrugs
. bc i just saw that i’m able to get it for $18 instead of $400. that’s fucking insane. 🥴😭
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i busted my ass & stayed consistent for 5 straight months so pls clap because bitch i am snatched.
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this is the whitest tweet i’ve ever seen
i love the adult friends part of the relationship with your parents. i get to say “yeah i’m scared of commitment because you and dad fucked me up” at lunch and we just laaaaaugh. pass the salt girl we’re having fun.
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my usa today article on mental health was approved 🥺😭💖
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