Using my treadmill desk, I've calculated I type: 3400 wpm (words per mile) Which is .21 words per hand ("Hands" are used to measure the height of horses) @jacobian pointed out, assuming avg 4.7 letters per word and 8bit ascii, my treadmill's bandwidth is ~2.2 bytes/second

Last tweet, images version:

My final tweet:

Elon and his cronies are really speedrunning FAFO why all these security procedures and internal policies exist.

This spoon kills fascists.

Our cameras recognize what you have inside, and we use that data to help you meal plan and grocery shop. Want to learn more?

Today we're launching a smart refrigerator unlike anything else on the market. We can keep produce fresh up to 3x longer than a typical refrigerator (we have data to prove it), and can do so much more! https://t.co/tKhIl4LdJW

A refrigerator that can make food last three times longer? My friend @ZacharyCohn just announced his company @tomorrowfridge is working on exactly that. What do you wish lasted longer in your fridge? https://t.co/ZQ34mbTNoZ

Vaccines are the greatest biomedical innovation of all time:

SURPRISE TIM WALZ PLAYING CRAZY TAXI ON STREAM!!!! He didn't know which button was reverse 😂 but he VERY CLEARLY had played before.

We’re going LIVE NOW on Twitch with @Tim_Walz, join us at 🏈➡️ https://t.co/u9zNReAauY

https://t.co/hyZL4TNBnj

Ignite speakers always talk about a wide range of topics. A few talk titles from our next event: What the fu*k is a chaplain? How to Dodge a Cringey First Kiss Disaster Flirt Like a Boomer The Real Costs of a Brazilian Wax Interested in hearing more? https://t.co/PQ23XRDp3Y

Gnomes, mosaics, brazilians, and parkinsons - just a few of the topics we'll cover at the next Ignite #Seattle on October 3rd! https://t.co/CBC64Nhg6S for all the details, then grab your early bird tickets - $10 per ticket, or group special 4-for-the-price-of-3 for $30.

Speakers will be announced in a few hours (Friday morning)! Check out https://t.co/CBC64NhNWq for all the details, then grab your early bird tickets - $10 per ticket, or group special 4-for-the-price-of-3 for $30.

“they’re doing transgender surgeries on illegal aliens” is just the plot of The Rocky Horror Picture Show

2024 is 62.25% complete. [138 days remaining]

We're recruiting speakers for Ignite Seattle 46! Do you have a story you want to tell? We give you a stage, 5 minutes, and 20 slides that auto-advance every 15 seconds, and you give us your best talk! Submit your proposal today:

I just donated to Harris For President:

IRS spent some of the new funding they got from the Inflation Reduction Act to recover over a billion dollars from millionaires who owed back taxes but never bothered paying up:

With the upcoming Chipotle stock split, even their share price is shrinking.