Brock Colyar
@UnhappyFem
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features writer & resident party girl @nymag / brock.colyar @nymag .com
Brooklyn, NY
Joined June 2018
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My very simple contribution to our advice package that everyone seems to be worked up about…
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I wrote about my pronouns.
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I took a stroll through Central Park with Mx. Big
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“I think there were a lot of people that turned 21 during the pandemic,” says the bartender. “Now they’re all 23, and they still don’t know how you’re supposed to act in a bar.”
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AHHHHHH!
ASME Awards 2023: Congratulations
@UnhappyFem
, Features Writer at
@nymag
, recipient of the 2023
@ASMENEXT
Award for Journalists Under 30
#ASMEawards
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I texted with Julia Fox about her whirlwind week:
“The overall message is that if ur in a toxic relationship, get out of it cuz u never who know or what could be waiting on the other side <3.”
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My editors have been kind enough to let me party all summer long in the name of Journalism. Subscribe to ARE U COMING? for late-night dispatches from a sexy, sweltering New York summer. See you out there, sweeties xx
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I visited former RHONY star Bethenny Frankel at her home in Connecticut, where she served me a baked potato with caviar for lunch (“girl dinner”) and told me all about her drama with the reality machine that made her famous.
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The Drag Race Queen of All Queens Jinkx Monsoon is popping her Broadway 🍒
“Is it weird that I have always aspired to be washed-up?”
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I went to Laurel Canyon to drink spritzes with Dylan Mulvaney, who has survived the Bud Light boycott and is ready to move on.
“I’m always going to be a glass half-full person," she told me. "Whether it’s beer or an Aperol spritz."
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On today’s cover of
@NYMag
: My report on the underground party scene, from an unmasked gathering of 80, where the revelers were dancing, drinking, and risking it all to keep the party going.
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Subscribe to read about Caroline Calloway’s supposed last night in New York 🙃
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I've watched too many brilliant coworkers leave
@NYMag
in the last year. Today the
@NYMagUnion
released the results of its pay equity study, and let's just say it explains a lot...
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I also love this one, though I’m afraid cigarettes à la Mary Kate Olsen is starting to lose its charm… try hiring a cigarette girl
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I spent some time in the Green River Project-designed micro-world downtown, wondering what Bode means on a man.
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Last weekend I went out with a group of boys who call themselves the East Villains, hang out at Ray's (duh), and collectively agree that “TikTok is actually the best dating app in New York City.”
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In this week's edition of unsuccessful husband hunting: “I think it’s best if we don’t know each other’s names. I don’t need the SEC knocking at my door.”
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There's no way this many of you actually prefer DESIRING over BEING desired... Lies!
We asked more than 60 people, "Is it better to desire, or be desired?"
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After comments from TN's GOP lieutenant gov. on McClure's Insta thirst traps came to light, McClure says, “I didn’t even know what a damn lieutenant governor was … I was thinking, It’s kind of random, but I’m grateful that someone’s being nice to me."
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At Fanelli’s with Dasha, talking Red Scare, Succession, The Scary of Sixty First, Mao, and spawning little monsters.
“Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent.”
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I had lunch with Pierce Abernathy, the Instagram chef, Gucci model, and parasocial trad boyf to many.
“I want to convince Sally May in Iowa to eat broccoli for the first time.”
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Last weekend, I met up with Ocean Vuong. We talked about his new book, literary fame, being “country queer,” Mitski, gay weirdos, poetry, glitter, and tenderqueers.
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I wrote about Parade, the social-justice panties brand that recruited an army of everyday microinfluencers and dominated our feeds.
“We’re all one degree of separation from a Parade Girl.”
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I wrote about one day at Riis Beach, where the people where beautiful, the former hookups were everywhere, and the police were watching. w/ incredible photos by Wayne Lawrence and interviews by
@reignofdynasty
("We named one of our disabled cats Riis.")
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I went to a holiday party hosted by some high-end gays where the halls were decked with Champagne and caviar, croquembouche and cigarettes. Oh, and Martha Stewart stopped by.
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Listen to Lena ❤️
If you're sleeping on
@unhappyfem
's party column for
@thecut
, you're b a n a n a s. It's perfect if, like me, you have never and will never attend a party by choice but still wanna feel young (and some of the best sentences per pound on the internet...)
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For
@TheCut
's Jan. cover, I walked around Wilmington, DE with state Senator-elect Sarah McBride, the highest elected out trans politician in U.S. history. Her neighborly, charming, wonderfully-nerdy approach to politics is a glimmer of hope in a new year.
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For
@NYMag
's issue on It Girls, I met up with Cory Kennedy, who, 18 years after the Cobrasnake first took her photo, is apparently a Greenpoint girl who wears Old Celine and drinks pet nat, "dry and mineral-y," please
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I spoke with a personal hero, Chanel Miller, about the last year, after she published Know My Name. She shared life and writing advice that I will never forget. It was a balm for my soul, and the highlight of my month/summer/year <3
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It's the end of an era (maybe)
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I said what I said.
This week on The Cut podcast, we're exploring the often puzzling world of sexting and dick pics. Host Avery
@trufelman
is joined by a group of guests with extensive experience in the field. Listen to the episode here:
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“I heard somebody say all the gays at CAA are on it and they’re all shitting their brains out."
Ozempic, a diabetes miracle drug that has become an off-label appetite suppressant, is changing the definition of being thin — and what it takes to get there.
@MatthewSchneier
reports
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Please, whatever you do, no stilettos on Kevin.
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McKenzie Wark wrote a book on raving so of course I had to ask her to take me to a party. As she told me a couple of times, “You have to let the music fuck you.”
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UPDATE: The Brooklyn Mirage has been sued again. T&M, a private security firm, filed suit in the state Supreme Court against the venue for breach of contract and defamation. Among other things, T&M is alleging the venue has failed to pay them for $577,232.27 of services.
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Featuring
@Cat_Marnell
“Julia Fox is doper than Pete Davidson, Kim Kardashian, and Kanye West combined. She’s a legitimate sorceress. She’s the Michael Jordan of vixens. She’s devastating, like a hurricane... Julia Fox is a Camille Paglia wet dream.”
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The
@NYMagUnion
has been negotiating our first contract for 2.5 years. The best journalists need a fair contract to produce their best work. Help us tell
@NYMag
management that it's time to come to an agreement now.
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“Across Greenpoint, I’ve noticed more and more people who feel like they should live in Murray Hill”
This is why I don’t go to pencil factory on the weekends anymore
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THE TWINK FROM TENNESSEE IS SPEAKING
“God gave us one life, so make it iconic."
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“He compares himself with the four-time Oscar nominee Viola Davis on three separate occasions; he punctuates his musings on a ceasefire in the Middle East with the word ‘doll.’”
‘Those Friends people make $100m a year! I’m getting six-cent cheques! It’s not OK!’: Billy Porter on race, recognition and the Middle East
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For my first night out for
@nymag
this summer, I had a very wet, very trippy evening w/ NYC's most infamous bisexual Remy Duran.
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For the 20th anniversary of Almost Famous, I spoke with the Queen of the Groupies, the real Penny Lane, Miss Pamela Des Barres. Let me tell you: She has a lot to say. And that Tiny Dancer scene is the least of her problems with Cameron Crowe’s movie.
Pamela Des Barres has a few things left to say about Almost Famous. On the real Penny Lane,
@UnhappyFem
reports
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It was such a pleasure to talk to
@kathrynfiona
@studyhallxyz
about party reporting and are u coming?
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The number of people in this city who just so happened to be filming themselves at the time of the earthquake makes me sad.
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SO excited to finally see this EXCELLENT piece by my dear friend & Professor
@pornoscholar
live at
@MsMagazine
. A MUST read as we move closer to the 2020 elections.
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My night out w/
@carolinecaloway
, now on
@grubstreet
“Now that I’m currently well liked, I’m never going back. This is so much better. I could never do anything else. I’ve never had a CV. I’ve been, professionally, Caroline Calloway.”
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I spent a long evening in Brooklyn with Kevin, the Carpet Guy. Subscribe to are u coming? to read about me stepping on him.
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Ray's opens in Greenpoint.
“I’m getting the up-and-down from a 40-year-old man in a too tight leather jacket and a beanie."
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Despite 2 tragic deaths, an alleged kidnapping, and rumors about a serial killer, the Brooklyn Mirage, an EDM lover's paradise, was sold out on Sat night.
"Do you feel safe?" I asked the only kid I met from BK. "Not at all." Still, he was on acid.
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When you leave NYC, it’s because—well, read the personal essays. When you leave
@NYMag
, as half our shop has done in the past 3 years, it’s often because of workplace issues our contract is trying to fix. Head over to
@NYMagUnion
to see “Why They Left ‘New York.’”
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KP invited me over for girls’ night/a game of cat and mouse at her (well decorated) apartment
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As the anti-Greek movement continues to grow on college campuses, I looked into one sorority at Northwestern that attempted to abolish itself. “If we say we’re feminists, if we say we’re anti-racist, then why are we still a part of this organization?”
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The longest-reported piece I’ve written for
@MsMagazine
, on women in the hotel industry who are bravely fighting workplace sexual harassment and resistant hotel conglomerates.
@ProyectoDeApoyo
@UniteHerelocal1
@UniteHereLocal8
@UNITEHERE11
@unitehere
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I spent 12 hours with a hot Brooklyn mom/underground psychedelics therapist, fighting scientists, dodging narcs, and getting way too high.
Tripping ’Til 10 a.m. With Hot Psychonaut-Therapist Mommy
Yeah, I was out of my mind.
www.thecut.com
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For our fall fashion issue I profiled the friend to the pretty and popular and aspiring multi-hyphenate fashion girlie Tommy Dorfman
"The realities of me being trans and being famous were one in the same. I couldn’t separate the two."
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At the
@McDonalds
HQ for
@MsMagazine
w/ restaurant workers and activists to say
#metoo
and demand that McD ends workplace sexual harassment. This is the first strike against sexual harassment in over 100 years.
#shutitdown
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“Martinis are for people that believe they are Carrie Bradshaw, but have enough sense to be embarrassed by it.”
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“The company … burned more than $33 million in cash last year. As of this spring, the company had forecast its cash balance would dip below zero by August of this year, according to the documents.”
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I wrote about the playwright Max Wolf Friedlich and his anxiety-inducing downtown hit "Job" - about a millennial content moderator who has a breakdown.
"I really don’t think that theater has the power to, like, change hearts and minds."
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One night with Swiss nightlife doyenne Susanne Bartsch at midtown's newest megaclub.
“I get a lot of straights in my events. But they’re always more um … adventurous straights. There’s different straights. There’s also different gays, as you know."
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Last night, I went to ACT UP's monkeypox rally in Foley Square. As one crew cut gay told me, "The slutty ones are taking it the most seriously."
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I went to a frat party.
“Picture a frat basement if it had an insecurity about being a New Yorker.”
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My Valentine's Day day drinking with a bartender and his boozy regulars at the East Village dive Sophie's
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I spoke to Christian Walker, the 21-year-old right-wing TikTok star and son of Herschel Walker.
“For a long time, conservatism has been really buttoned-up and boring and stuffy. We needed a little spunk.”
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Some of you are really, really sensitive...
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"Early-aughts 'It' girl Cory Kennedy entering her 'hipster Martha Stewart' era pretty much sums up how millennials are gearing up for middle age"
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My reason to ❤️ NY this year is that we’re all hot for the Dare
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Not my usual feminist-y content, but such a delight to have 5 strange minutes with Naomi Campbell perched on the side of a bed in a $50m Zaha Hadid penthouse ✨
Naomi Campbell says she has undergone a “radical change” after finding out she is gluten and meat-intolerant
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Inside a micro-reckoning in clubland, all centered around the Q (which stands for queer, of course), a Hell's Kitchen megaclub that opened last year with the intention of bringing some sexy-woke Brooklyn energy to midtown.
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I spoke to the 16-year-old Canadian who devoted her TikTok to shit-talking 432 Park Avenue--a delightful mixture of aesthetic disgust and furious class rage.
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Join our book club!! We're reading, you guessed it, The Guest.
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“I’m not getting COVID from this party. I want to get BEAUTIFUL COVID.”
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Sleepless in Detroit for the Movement Electronic Musical Festival and its Bushwick-y, Berlin-geist after-parties.
“Dancing is a human right. I figure it’s in our blood, our DNA. Coming together with your people, breaking bread."
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Because of course Dimes Square would spawn a reality show
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For this week's are u coming? I went to Madonna's pride party with
@the_symonee
. As I overheard one woman tell her friend: "There are so many people who shouldn’t be here. Half of them work for Beacon’s Closet."
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Now working on a personal essay about how I too got “enthralled” by Red Scare, wrote about one of the hosts, got mocked as a “sinister homosexual” and STILL CANT KICK THE HABIT.
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In this week's newsletter: Bridgerton meets Berghain meets Bushwick meets the Baroque!
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GOC showed up to the rave to make it more accessible. He also showed up in a tiny little wrestling singlet.
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It’s me again, promising if you subscribe I’ll tell you naughty tales about being awake at 4am. New this week: a rave w/ a singlet-sporting GOC.
Last week,
@unhappyfem
noticed a surprising name on the list of hosts for a queer rave in Ridgewood: “Gabriel Ocasio-Cortez.” That would be AOC’s little brother. Her gay brother. Her hot, gay, rave-hosting little brother.
#AreUComing
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The delightfully insightful
@rtraister
in
@TheCut
on the mothers and fathers of the 2020 election has had me thinking about the politics of motherhood all day— from politicians to activists, Mamie Till-Mobley to Kirsten Gillibrand.
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Sarah McBride is running for the House! In 2021, I took a walk around Wilmington with the highest elected trans politician in US history for the cover of
@TheCut
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“If you were born in the ’90s, there are legends in the room tonight.”
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The Reasons to Love
@NYMag
are all the people who make it. We deserve a fair contract.
#ReasonstoLoveNYMagUnion
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The Q opened in 2021 promising to be a different kind of Hell's Kitchen gay club (The Q stood for queer, obviously and it was backed by Billy Porter). Now the club is closing.
Last summer, I took a look into the lawsuit that began its downfall.
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I spoke to 17 parents for
@TheCut
about their plans for their kids as schools reopen. One mom summarized the debate really well: “Everybody obviously wants what is best for their kid. And what’s best for one kid is not necessarily best for another kid.”
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Where can you find Kristen Stewart snarking about her Twilight costars and Leo DiCaprio watching a UFC fight on a Saturday night? Apparently, The Ned, nightlife veteran Richie Akiva's new members-only club in Nomad.
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For Valentine's Day I went to a possibly legal wedding at the Jane, starring Frankie Jonas as best man and the heiress Ivy Getty as officiant.
"She’s someone who can truly nurture that which is so nurturing it is unnurturable.”
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Just in case you forgot about John C Reilly’s super hot, TikToking, single-dangling son... the man, the stache, the embodiment of Gen Z’s artistic ambitions?
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“I’m here to tell you, nightlife has always been the same. It’s always been the same bullshit, the same play with different actors. Nightlife. Has. Always. Been. The. Same.”
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I spoke to the gay architect from Melbourne hoping to build a "New Fire Island" somewhere in the Mediterranean. Location TBD.
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One of my favorite stories I’ve worked on for
@MsMagazine
and an incredible moment for
#MeToo
. Please remember to be a responsible feminist consumer out there!
@AnneliseOrleck1
@chifightfor15
@ProyectoDeApoyo
@HealingToAction
@fightfor15
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This week I went bar hopping with the hilarious
@glamdemon2004
, who had this to say about MEN, standing outside of Ray’s: “Why are we allowing men access to us, sexually, when most of them are terrible?”
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