writer
@vanityfair
(but they wanna lay me and dozens of colleagues off, but
@condeunion
is fighting for us 💪) / author of CENTRAL PLACES / deez links 4 life
fall weekends need to be like 4 days long: 1 day to get your shit together, 1 to catch up on reading & tv, 1 to wander around outside eating stew out of a cup, 1 to lie in bed and contemplate bird migration
so this guy sends me a tiktok right......but what he doesn't know is that when I watch it tiktok tells me this video was originally to him by SOME OTHER GIRL first and then links me to her account.......this is why we need more women in STEM, soon the panopticon will be complete
no more main character energy for 2022... i would like to be the side character....let me show up in a fun outfit and drop a devastating zinger and enjoy my low-stakes b plot.......let someone else do the self-reflection and growth part thank you
going on vacay with a 24yo friend is wild. girl packed al she needed in one big tote. did not eat breakfast. guzzled cocktails at the hotel then got a full night of sleep and got up at 6am to go to the gym and write. i had one marg and forgot to stretch and thus need hospital
for a small fee i will comment "what pandemic?" on your relatives'/high school friends'/co-workers' superspreader thanksgiving IG posts no questions asked
my mom doesn't really watch American tv but she wanted a show to keep her english sharp so I recommended greys anatomy ..... she is so hooked lmao she's like "I watch two episodes a night, how many are there total" I can't wait to tell her
at dinner tonight the already hot, apparently poetically inclined somm explained a wine to me and my friend as "it teeters on the edge of sweetness but it doesn't fall" and I screamed aloud
no one talks about what men in their 20s have to teach YOU though. It's such a wealth of knowledge. You learn about Fellini and Grantland. How to make Spotify playlist names. How long a toothbrush can really last. "Draft Kings." The moral arc of LeBron's career. Just treasures
There are a lot of issues with The Cut story, but no one can argue this paragraph isn't true, and it is exactly how I explain why I have no desire to date again.
earlier tn, uber driver clocked my whorey summer outfit and drove quietly until he finally was like "wait what is Public Records" and I explained it's like a bar and he was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhh girl I thought you were going to get some archival documents in THAT
something i would love to read about in depth is the Internet Boyfriend phenomenon and how it turns guys like Paul Mescal, Rege-Jean Page, Noah Centineo, Henry Golding, etc. into household names but we really never see the same halo effect happen for their female co-stars
the real microscene in NY we should all aspire to join is whatever is going on on Vanderbilt Ave on weekends.....all i want is to be a young fun mom hashtagging
#closedstreets
& drinking wine outside lalou while my children Arrow and Tulip act like demons on scooters
Pence's "politeness" is that insidious kind perfected by countless male coworkers, superiors, and patriarchs so they can throw a hissy fit later about your tone young lady
the new killers album apparently has a phoebe bridgers collab........everyone check on their neighborhood white boy rn see if they need help calling 911
went for my annual checkup today and my new doc was like you need D, as in **vitamin D** and i was like god i know it's been a while and she was like what and i was like hwhat
tonight I watched a guy reporter go up to another guy reporter and introduce himself by saying "I hear you don't like my work" ...... I'm honestly inspired
by your 30s you should have 3 broad categories of friends:
-confidante friends
-fun hang out friends
-friends with whom you exchange a batshit specific tiktok every other day while knowing nothing about even the basic contours of each others' lives
my therapist: who told you to do that
me:.....,,,,,,.................................
therapist: ................,,,..........::..............,:.,,..,,.......................................
me: there was this tiktok
celeb profile culture is easier to understand if you just remember it's passive aggressive nerds trying to talk to theater kids (all mediated by former popular clique lieutenants)
single women....we need to establish a global network wherein we easily spot each other in airports and agree to watch each others' shit while we go to the bathroom
when pop mythology runs primarily on success stories, we miss out on the most moving tales of struggle and ambition. Grateful that Ke Huy Quan is back on our screens & even more grateful he's sharing the full story of everything that came before
🏄🏼 ok some more news: I'm joining the ace team
@VanityFair
as senior vanities corespondent! I'm so excited!! Please no one at conde look at my last tweet(s)!!!!!!!
they moved vf to the vogue floor so now a new fun in-office perk is cowering in your chair and thinking "why do i look like this" when everyone else walks by
@leahchernikoff
@LEBassett
truly!!! i remember a professor in j-school warned us against doing it. "if you'd edit filler words out of the quotes for a senator, you'd better do it for anyone else"
making small talk in 2022 is like reaching inside your giant purse to grab your trusty go-to chapstick and rooting around and coming up with a small wad of hairy gum and being like here this is all I have
do you guys wanna hear a horror story ok here goes so last night i went on a date and i mentioned my ethnicity as one does, and he got like REALLY disappointed and was like ............."oh man i wanted to guess what you were"
if the nyt wanted an actually effective twitter policy it would just be "every time you tweet you will be assigned to expand on that as a story" boom problem solved no one will ever twet again