delia
@delia_cai
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writer @vanityfair (but they wanna lay me and dozens of colleagues off, but @condeunion is fighting for us 💪) / author of CENTRAL PLACES / deez links 4 life
New York
Joined April 2009
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Pinned Tweet
For 3 weeks only @ deez links media: Hate Read, a pop-up blog where your faves anonymously launder their secret objects of hate
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do you ever leave a social situation and you're just like mmm that was not my best work
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another day of staring at the big screen while scrolling through my little screen so as to reward myself for staring at the medium screen all week
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life with astigmatism is more romantic because every light is a twinkle light
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fall weekends need to be like 4 days long: 1 day to get your shit together, 1 to catch up on reading & tv, 1 to wander around outside eating stew out of a cup, 1 to lie in bed and contemplate bird migration
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spotify the only tech company to figure out how to successfully rebrand "we've been tracking you" to "isn't this FUN"
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the working woman's Timmy Chalamet
Well well well, if it isn't a profile of Jeremy Allen White on today
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dated a guy who was missing a crucial apartment component ONE TIME and she will never let it go
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so this guy sends me a tiktok right......but what he doesn't know is that when I watch it tiktok tells me this video was originally to him by SOME OTHER GIRL first and then links me to her account.......this is why we need more women in STEM, soon the panopticon will be complete
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early 20s: a coat will ruin the outfit!!
late 20s: coat is outfit
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no more main character energy for 2022... i would like to be the side character....let me show up in a fun outfit and drop a devastating zinger and enjoy my low-stakes b plot.......let someone else do the self-reflection and growth part thank you
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going on vacay with a 24yo friend is wild. girl packed al she needed in one big tote. did not eat breakfast. guzzled cocktails at the hotel then got a full night of sleep and got up at 6am to go to the gym and write. i had one marg and forgot to stretch and thus need hospital
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for a small fee i will comment "what pandemic?" on your relatives'/high school friends'/co-workers' superspreader thanksgiving IG posts no questions asked
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Instead of asking "what do you do" I really recommend punching up any social function you happen to be at with "so who do you hate here"
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"did you see the tweet that's like" yes I've seen every tweet go on
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my mom doesn't really watch American tv but she wanted a show to keep her english sharp so I recommended greys anatomy ..... she is so hooked lmao she's like "I watch two episodes a night, how many are there total" I can't wait to tell her
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In my Alaskan bear era (eating a lot of salmon, sleeping increasingly more, snacking on berries n honey, snarling at strangers)
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me (not handling things) to my friend (also not handling things): I think you handled it perfectly
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everyone who is a writer should get into running bc it's important to have at least one hobby you hate even more than writing
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Don't forget if you don't have a hot neighbor, YOU are the hot neighbor
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someone check on that stupid skinny skyscraper that was already not doing well
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at dinner tonight the already hot, apparently poetically inclined somm explained a wine to me and my friend as "it teeters on the edge of sweetness but it doesn't fall" and I screamed aloud
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if you see me out and I'm wearing the same exact outfit from when you saw me recently shh that's my outside outfit now ok
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when two friends equally want to bail on plans and the first one is brave enough to say it out loud, that's amore
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no one talks about what men in their 20s have to teach YOU though. It's such a wealth of knowledge. You learn about Fellini and Grantland. How to make Spotify playlist names. How long a toothbrush can really last. "Draft Kings." The moral arc of LeBron's career. Just treasures
There are a lot of issues with The Cut story, but no one can argue this paragraph isn't true, and it is exactly how I explain why I have no desire to date again.
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u laugh but this would kill on SSENSE
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for every "couples, let's see those EARLY PICS with each other" post I personally would also like to hear about an EARLY FIGHT u guys had
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once you realize Nick Carraway in the great gatsby is a 29 yo Midwestern transplant and finance guy it all makes sense
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reminder that New Girl was funnier than we ever gave it credit for
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The gilded age is great it's basically American girl dolls being bitches to each other
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earlier tn, uber driver clocked my whorey summer outfit and drove quietly until he finally was like "wait what is Public Records" and I explained it's like a bar and he was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhh girl I thought you were going to get some archival documents in THAT
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entering my "one baked good per day as a treat for completing baseline tasks" season
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let me show you what it is like to date a very particular type of Twentysomething New York Guy in 2023
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also ftr i asked if i could tweet this and he said yes.....here at delia industries we support ethical subtweeting
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why did we have that. There's no tectonic plates here. is a tsunami coming. *flips through pages of earth science textbook faster*
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premium tier offering: will do "there's people that are dying kim" but if their name is actually kim i will do this for free
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the pure unadulterated chineseness of james hong packing a sandwich to eat at the oscars I LOVE
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the man abbreviating "u" in his texts is not gonna be able to handle pickup/dropoff in 10 years girl
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SIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING like live your life & i support you but WHAT IN ACTUALITY ARE YOU DOING
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ok.......here's the thing......... i thought his name was Macaulay MacCaulkin......which i now understand......would have been insane.............
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something i would love to read about in depth is the Internet Boyfriend phenomenon and how it turns guys like Paul Mescal, Rege-Jean Page, Noah Centineo, Henry Golding, etc. into household names but we really never see the same halo effect happen for their female co-stars
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the real microscene in NY we should all aspire to join is whatever is going on on Vanderbilt Ave on weekends.....all i want is to be a young fun mom hashtagging
#closedstreets
& drinking wine outside lalou while my children Arrow and Tulip act like demons on scooters
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Pence's "politeness" is that insidious kind perfected by countless male coworkers, superiors, and patriarchs so they can throw a hissy fit later about your tone young lady
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so you're telling me fleabag coulda done it
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the new killers album apparently has a phoebe bridgers collab........everyone check on their neighborhood white boy rn see if they need help calling 911
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mine is sitting across from Steve Buscemi on the F train and being too sloshed to figure out why he looked so familiar lol
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went for my annual checkup today and my new doc was like you need D, as in **vitamin D** and i was like god i know it's been a while and she was like what and i was like hwhat
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tonight I watched a guy reporter go up to another guy reporter and introduce himself by saying "I hear you don't like my work" ...... I'm honestly inspired
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can't believe we used to have outfits now that it's just
1. Workout clothes (stretching clothes)
2. "Work" clothes (nice sweats)
3. Walking clothes (medium sweats)
4. Post-shower/tv watching clothes (least nice sweats)
5. Sleep clothes
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how come after like age 26 your body starts to make clicking sounds when you stretch... is that the warranty expiring...
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by your 30s you should have 3 broad categories of friends:
-confidante friends
-fun hang out friends
-friends with whom you exchange a batshit specific tiktok every other day while knowing nothing about even the basic contours of each others' lives
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ryan gosling, the greatest committer to the bit of our generation
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the last person to dine at the de Blasio house:
accidentally gave my opinion on polyamory in front of the wrong person
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rewatching the devil wears prada for the first time in ages and it's now sinking in Nate is mad Andy....had to work the Met Gala on his bday??? K
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my therapist: who told you to do that
me:.....,,,,,,.................................
therapist: ................,,,..........::..............,:.,,..,,.......................................
me: there was this tiktok
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imagine growing up playing the flute in the era of Lizzo mania ugh you bitches are so lucky
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the dumbest funniest most horrifying thing just happened to me and I'm gonna tell you guys about it in case you need a deep gutteral belly laugh
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celeb profile culture is easier to understand if you just remember it's passive aggressive nerds trying to talk to theater kids (all mediated by former popular clique lieutenants)
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single women....we need to establish a global network wherein we easily spot each other in airports and agree to watch each others' shit while we go to the bathroom
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when pop mythology runs primarily on success stories, we miss out on the most moving tales of struggle and ambition. Grateful that Ke Huy Quan is back on our screens & even more grateful he's sharing the full story of everything that came before
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🏄🏼 ok some more news: I'm joining the ace team
@VanityFair
as senior vanities corespondent! I'm so excited!! Please no one at conde look at my last tweet(s)!!!!!!!
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they moved vf to the vogue floor so now a new fun in-office perk is cowering in your chair and thinking "why do i look like this" when everyone else walks by
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@leahchernikoff
@LEBassett
truly!!! i remember a professor in j-school warned us against doing it. "if you'd edit filler words out of the quotes for a senator, you'd better do it for anyone else"
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making small talk in 2022 is like reaching inside your giant purse to grab your trusty go-to chapstick and rooting around and coming up with a small wad of hairy gum and being like here this is all I have
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WAS RUNNING FOR THE TRAIN. FOOT SLIPPED OUT OF BIRKENSTOCK. TOUCHED SUBWAY STATION GROUND WITH ENTIRE FLAT BARE SOLE
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do you guys wanna hear a horror story ok here goes so last night i went on a date and i mentioned my ethnicity as one does, and he got like REALLY disappointed and was like ............."oh man i wanted to guess what you were"
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anyway good list of Texas orgs to donate to (including animal shelters):
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28 years old on this green earth and I still end up in someone's living room watching dudes play video games more often than anyone should
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[april-august] so weird how happy I am
[it starts getting dark by 7] oh
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posting to the grid is the equivalent of getting a pic framed now lol
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if the nyt wanted an actually effective twitter policy it would just be "every time you tweet you will be assigned to expand on that as a story" boom problem solved no one will ever twet again
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