Tom Sexton
@TomSexton
Followers
17,247
Following
2,461
Media
136
Statuses
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Mother's Day
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Mães
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#鬼滅の刃
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Amad
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Garnacho
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Evans
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Arapça
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伊黒さん
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Everybody’s getting rich on Dogecoin while I prefer a more traditional side hustle
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This is one of the more terrifying situations you can find yourself in in the midwest—having just cheated a group of the most robust, rosy-cheeked, corn fed midwest guys with amazing one hit quit potential out of a bass boat and thousands in cash. Might as well be in Juarez
Professional Fishermen Caught Cheating at Lake Erie Walleye Tournament
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I love this rationale. When it’s the middle east: we won’t be pushed around! Not one American life! When it’s the virus: well folks, bad as I hate to say it we gotta go to work—we can’t just not let people eat brunch in a weird tent with wait staff in haz mat suits, now can we?
The strike was defensive in nature, but was a response to the three attacks endangering Americans in Iraq this month, the official said.
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Gonna need to see some strong paperwork on this one
Today we honor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s message of hope, justice and equality.
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Can’t be overstated how much I hate this man
Fetterman very on brand by showing up to a fancy DC dinner in a tuxedo hoodie and shorts (he’s even got cufflinks on the sleeves)
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Would like to humbly submit “cancelling all gambling debts” as the newest issue we should fight for on the left
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If Socrates was out philosophizing in Eastern Kentucky they’d send him on a snipe hunt in the woods alone and when he came back empty handed they’d taunt him—calling him “college boy”
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We need a chauvinist, racist death cult—one that’s principled and strong!
President-elect Joe Biden: "We need a Republican Party. We need an opposition that's principled and strong."
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Wrote about why it’s bad to have heroes!
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Every time I see a tweet like this I’m more and more thankful that I come from a long line of chicken fighters and pool sharks
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Time to tighten your belt up and sell a few things in my opinion.
US government will run out of money by October 18, Treasury secretary says
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What’s this “we” shit motherfucker
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Was tracing the origins of my health anxiety to Magic Johnson’s announcement once—therapist spends rest of the hour I paid for telling me his conspiracy theories about Magic being closeted—& everytime I gave him an “I don’t know about all that now” he’d say angrily “look it up!”
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Famous saying
“Where there is smoke, there is not always fire,” says
@NYCMayor
. Full interview at 9:30am today on
@PIX11News
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That classic safe action where you voluntarily die the same death so agonizing that it’s been used in the holy books for thousands of years to dissuade us from doing bad things.
His self immolation is a safe action that doesn’t directly reflect on the negative impacts of white supremacy and doesn’t threaten it. That’s why his death is lauded and the “complexity” of the deaths of Palestinian resistance fighters are not held in the same regard.
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That entity Mitch has been seeing when he freezes at the podium for the last year has come to collect
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Kind of a departure from her earlier stuff but nobody can deny the new T. Swift goes hard!
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When you realize being a confederate was about licking the boots of the Planter class to the point you would give your life for landed rich kids to keep people in immiseration in order to get richer, it makes sense why a certain personality insists on flying that flag today.
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Seen a lot of good men felled by the peach ring over the years
Knew moderation wasn’t for me when I quit drinking and immediately got addicted to gas station peach rings for a month. Three bags a day
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Absolutely adore the Christman/Rollo/Karloff family and can’t wait for them and the baby to come out the other side of this happy and healthy ❤️
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I used to hate this guy at my gym that would histrionically drop his deadlift at the top of the motion and shake the whole gym—all that changed today when I got the call up to film him doing it and now we’re gonna watch the Mavs/Warriors game tomorrow
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A lot of people have been asking me what it feels like to be a “five digit guy” and honestly, I’m as hungry today as I was at 36 followers. Good morning.
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The same mind that thinks we’ll somehow have a civil war dystopia where neighbors hang and torture each other and roving bands of war boys dig mass graves but somehow your press credentials will still be respected
“If the left wants to combat right-wing extremism, it needs to be in the business of winning elections.” explains Alex Garland, writer and director of ‘Civil War’.
New pod:
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Don’t spend it all in one place
Planning a cookout this year? Ketchup on the news. According to the Farm Bureau, the cost of a 4th of July BBQ is down from last year. It’s a fact you must-hear(d). Hot dog, the Biden economic plan is working. And that’s something we can all relish.
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Smart money’s on “gonna be remembered as a little piss baby” or “not a-tall”
I’m gonna tell you right now,
@ShaiDavidai
will go down in history as a hero who stood for what’s right against the mob mentality of US universities. Hats off.
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the food service job shortage is a personality test. you either realize those employers are getting exactly what they deserve for how they treat those jobs. or you want treats in under 5 minutes and anything that gets in the way of that is automatically the end of civilization
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Pay the college kids and also let them do what I did—stay in undergrad for 7 years, no eligibility limit—let them pile up those credentials. I want to see a kid play all four years of undergrad plus four years of med school
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My hunch is if all the southern states went blue tomorrow they’d take us from “KKK & Incest” to some more genteel descriptors regardless of where we moved on our actual racism.
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Recorded a banger with
@Booker4KY
this morning and we had some hiccups but man it was good. Can’t wait for y’all to hear it
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I’d give anything for these fucking cops and the powerful ppl that make us pay so for them to protect their property to feel really and truly unsafe for once in their fucking piece of shit existence.
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100% Champ got Lena Dunham’d
Our family lost our loving companion Champ today. I will miss him.
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Whoever this Rumsfeld guy is sounds like he had some detractors
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I’ll never forget when I swore that oath, to protect this country against enemies both foreign and domestic (Americorps VISTA, ‘14)
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“Personally radicalized” Motherfucker—Lee was a slaveowner before Harper’s Ferry
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“At the time it looked like ‘We Bought a Zoo’ was poised to be the bigger hit”
Matt Damon on turning down
#Avatar
due to scheduling conflicts: “I was offered a little movie called Avatar, James Cameron offered me 10% of it. I will go down in history… you will never meet an actor who turned down more money.”
()
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lol when you shoot a hole in the barn then go paint the bullseye over it
Coincidentally, these are the exact same odds as in our final forecast in 2016!!!
(Clinton 71%, Trump 29%)
As was also the case in 2016, our model gives Trump a MUCH higher chance than other statistical models.
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200 eps in and still on top!*
*52nd
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Would be funny if somebody in the window gave a swift kick to the sternum that made them all fall like dominoes off that little go go gadget rig
A line of NYPD police officer is waiting to enter the second floor of Columbia University's occupied Hamilton Hall.
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It’s been 17 years now and I haven’t seen a serious challenge yet to the class of 2004’s claim that they “rule the school”
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I’ve been on pins and needles all night long
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Horny tennis movie with a Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross score made by an Italian with an affinity for his gore-hound forebears was made in a lab to scratch every itch I could possibly have and friends, it did not disappoint
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Finally! What everybody in middle management and sales has been jonesing for: to live in their ugly ass houses made of in developments named after like an obscure Italian Lake and to eat $27 biscuits every Sat. at a place called like The Cock & Fig unencumbered by the poors.
I am happy to inform all of the people living their Suburban Lifestyle Dream that you will no longer be bothered or financially hurt by having low income housing built in your neighborhood...
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I’ve been part of the
@PWUnion1
bargaining unit for the past 8 months trying to negotiate a contract for
@SierraClub
workers who were previously not allowed to unionize and as a result still suffer lower wages, and less protections. Please RT and share this to support our efforts
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Lololol
Calling strikebreakers “scabs” is patently dehumanizing (and if your response to this is “good,” you should probably engage in some self-examination)
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@paradoomer
Hate it when my six year old comes home and somberly asks: “Dad, where we really made by Dr. Yakub in a lab 6,000 years ago?” And I have to explain to her the truth that “yes, sweetie, yes we were.”
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This is a good point, people spent decades with Trump on tv all the time none of these freaks are built like that
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VOTE!!! It’s the only way this guy who has no interest in winning is going to win
This Time Magazine report on Biden's lack of any ground operation in MICHIGAN is just insane.
Read -->
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Thank God there’s no American Cops in Israel!
SCOOP: Israel Prepares for Possible Fentanyl-filled Rockets from Hamas, Hezbollah via
@BreitbartNews
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Wrapped a 9 month long contract negotiation at 4am last night w/
@PWUnion1
for
@SierraClub
employees who had a certain class of worker working decades w/o certain protections and pay equity as other workers in the same organization. Happy with what we were able to come away with
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On day 8 of no deodorant and realizing deodorant is really like the mask wearing thing—more for everybody else than for you because at the one week mark you really don’t mind your own brand anymore.
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Might I suggest Blazers vs. Lakers game 1 as opposed to DNC night 2 tonight? You have arguably the two best players in the world and a comically balding white guy that can jump out of the gym playing an exciting team led by a “clean” rapper in a Potemkin village w/a fake audience
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Proud to have the same physique as the commandante
I like this pic of Fidel that’s been going around specifically because it’s the most eastern Kentucky he’s ever looked
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I got a confession to make—this was me the whole time. “Jorgensen” was to throw you off the scent
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Bought for $800 from a place called “Honest Johnny’s.” Got 4 years of reliable service out of it before I gave it to this guy Scotty who worked the bottle toss at the carnival. In exchange he let me get a peak behind the curtain of how the carnival games are rigged. Invaluable.
Post the car you drove in highscool. We we’ll go first. Chuck in the Oldsmobile. G in the explorer.
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Didier Drogba almost singlehandedly ended the Ivorian Civil War. Muhammad Ali refused to be drafted to Vietnam. South Africa being banned from the ‘64 olympics helped end aprtheid but yeah sporpsball, etc.
ok just hear me out... if sports didn't exist, would people be more invested in local politics
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Was brought in for questioning in 7th grade for writing “Underground Kingz” and “Three 6 Mafia” on my notebook
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My man’s been a Muslim for two days lololol
120$ "uncensored iftar" tickets... oh that took no time at all
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Read everything in this and be able to recite it before you put one more fucking dime into the McGrath campaign that was never intended to win (by Chuck Shumer’s own admission)
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No, I’ll never “post hole” I don’t care if there is a growing chorus calling for such
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Hey I’m not a fan of Bright Eyes either pal but try showing a little class, huh?
Conor friedersdorf the dumbest motherfucker on this website, u can quote me on that
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Want to Bump this to the top again—throw something in the kitty if you can for all our people in the streets tonight in Louisville
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They saw you coming
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Finally safe for Letcher Countians to go get cold beer at the top of the mountain without getting a ticket for doing 47 in a 45 (bout 7 years too late)
Yesterday, Pound, VA effectively dissolved its police department, which had consumed the majority of the town's general budget.
Today a state attorney sued the town, but just to demand they transfer the evidence room to other law enforcement.
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Wild nobody’s said this til now
NEW VIDEO:
@SecPompeo
: "There will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration." I don't care if he was joking. This delegitimizing shit ENDS NOW. A solution: we stop the welfare to the financially failing Red States.
Full vid:
Brief version:
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I have to log off—I ignored both the cake and roasted watermelon discourse only to have them both figure prominently in a dream that ended with me being attacked by an Alligator while visiting my friend Joel Osteen in Houston, Texas
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(1.) Jeff, KY
(2.) Combs, KY
(3.) Rowdy, KY
(4.) Backwoods, KY
(5.) Dwarf, KY
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Hearing there’s gonna be free sex for the unattractive in a Biden administration and hear I thought my ship was never gonna come in
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Gotta get back on
@thetrillbillies
before they realize things are humming along fine without me.
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I’m always telling the boys “boys, it’s the objective measures of success why I keep tuning in.��
Nope. The GOATs:
Basketball: Jordan
Track: Bolt
Boxing: Ali
Baseball: Ruth
Golf: Nicklaus/Woods
Swimming: Phelps
Football: Brady
Tennis: Federer
Hockey: Gretzky
Gymnastics: Biles
Soccer: Pele
Sports are great because there are objective metrics of success.
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I don’t like when they give the adoptable pets the anthropomorphic soy voice in the listings—like most shelter pets are not gonna sound like guys that say “sporpsballs” just tell me is this beagle mix good with cats and housebroken
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It’s hilarious that every NBA front office is now shadow ran not by a guy that ever played the game but by either a guy that finished 12th at the 2006 World Series of Poker Main Event, or a former software engineer for TaxSlayer dot com
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They were warning them that Hamas might misfire I guess
BREAKING: Al-Jazeera reports that the 🇮🇱 IDF spokesperson says they had warned regarding evacuating the Al-Ahli Baptist Hospital as well as five other hospitals
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And now you can too for your archery seshes!
Sturgill repping a Trillbilly Worker's Party t-shirt on a recent archery sesh.
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There’s only one true answer to this: “I want my.......I want my MTV....”
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Michael Brooks is a guy I Ioved listening to: funny and smart and genuine. He was always complimentary to our show in the most encouraging way. Just awful news. Thinking about Jamie and Sam and everybody close to him.
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We’ve exhausted all other options for ending poverty on Earth—our hands are tied on this one, unfortunately.
The Moon should be privatised to help wipe out poverty on Earth, economists say
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Expecting 1997 prices when I show up to the pump tomorrow after this one
My message to the companies running gas stations and setting prices at the pump is simple: this is a time of war and global peril.
Bring down the price you are charging at the pump to reflect the cost you’re paying for the product. And do it now.
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Show this man how to descale a shower head and you might end up the next ambassador to Finland
Trump: When you go into these new homes with showers, the water drips down slowly. You have suds.. beautiful nice wonderful suds. A lot of money. Proctor and Gamble. All that crap that they sell. It takes you 10 minutes to wash your hair
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Ritchie is the kinda guy you could absolutely have out in the woods holding a sack open and calling for snipe
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This is how men used to work through their problems, before we gave everybody trophies just for showing up that is!
Here’s an oilfield problem-solving flow chart my grandfather made in the 70s
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Hell of a deal if you’re Kamala tbh, you’re going off at even money to be the President by next Christmas. Joe’s not long for this world.
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What a difference a year makes
2020 (early pandemic): “If you want to eat at Bob Evans, go eat at Bob Evans!”
2021: “Babydog says you gotta play to win, West Virginia!”
ICYMI: West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice has made his dog "babydog" the mascot of the state's new vaccine lottery.
"She wants you vaccinated SO badly"
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