This is one of the more terrifying situations you can find yourself in in the midwest—having just cheated a group of the most robust, rosy-cheeked, corn fed midwest guys with amazing one hit quit potential out of a bass boat and thousands in cash. Might as well be in Juarez
I love this rationale. When it’s the middle east: we won’t be pushed around! Not one American life! When it’s the virus: well folks, bad as I hate to say it we gotta go to work—we can’t just not let people eat brunch in a weird tent with wait staff in haz mat suits, now can we?
If Socrates was out philosophizing in Eastern Kentucky they’d send him on a snipe hunt in the woods alone and when he came back empty handed they’d taunt him—calling him “college boy”
Was tracing the origins of my health anxiety to Magic Johnson’s announcement once—therapist spends rest of the hour I paid for telling me his conspiracy theories about Magic being closeted—& everytime I gave him an “I don’t know about all that now” he’d say angrily “look it up!”
That classic safe action where you voluntarily die the same death so agonizing that it’s been used in the holy books for thousands of years to dissuade us from doing bad things.
His self immolation is a safe action that doesn’t directly reflect on the negative impacts of white supremacy and doesn’t threaten it. That’s why his death is lauded and the “complexity” of the deaths of Palestinian resistance fighters are not held in the same regard.
When you realize being a confederate was about licking the boots of the Planter class to the point you would give your life for landed rich kids to keep people in immiseration in order to get richer, it makes sense why a certain personality insists on flying that flag today.
I used to hate this guy at my gym that would histrionically drop his deadlift at the top of the motion and shake the whole gym—all that changed today when I got the call up to film him doing it and now we’re gonna watch the Mavs/Warriors game tomorrow
A lot of people have been asking me what it feels like to be a “five digit guy” and honestly, I’m as hungry today as I was at 36 followers. Good morning.
The same mind that thinks we’ll somehow have a civil war dystopia where neighbors hang and torture each other and roving bands of war boys dig mass graves but somehow your press credentials will still be respected
“If the left wants to combat right-wing extremism, it needs to be in the business of winning elections.” explains Alex Garland, writer and director of ‘Civil War’.
New pod:
Planning a cookout this year? Ketchup on the news. According to the Farm Bureau, the cost of a 4th of July BBQ is down from last year. It’s a fact you must-hear(d). Hot dog, the Biden economic plan is working. And that’s something we can all relish.
I’m gonna tell you right now,
@ShaiDavidai
will go down in history as a hero who stood for what’s right against the mob mentality of US universities. Hats off.
the food service job shortage is a personality test. you either realize those employers are getting exactly what they deserve for how they treat those jobs. or you want treats in under 5 minutes and anything that gets in the way of that is automatically the end of civilization
Pay the college kids and also let them do what I did—stay in undergrad for 7 years, no eligibility limit—let them pile up those credentials. I want to see a kid play all four years of undergrad plus four years of med school
My hunch is if all the southern states went blue tomorrow they’d take us from “KKK & Incest” to some more genteel descriptors regardless of where we moved on our actual racism.
I’d give anything for these fucking cops and the powerful ppl that make us pay so for them to protect their property to feel really and truly unsafe for once in their fucking piece of shit existence.
Matt Damon on turning down
#Avatar
due to scheduling conflicts: “I was offered a little movie called Avatar, James Cameron offered me 10% of it. I will go down in history… you will never meet an actor who turned down more money.”
()
Coincidentally, these are the exact same odds as in our final forecast in 2016!!!
(Clinton 71%, Trump 29%)
As was also the case in 2016, our model gives Trump a MUCH higher chance than other statistical models.
Horny tennis movie with a Trent Reznor/Atticus Ross score made by an Italian with an affinity for his gore-hound forebears was made in a lab to scratch every itch I could possibly have and friends, it did not disappoint
Finally! What everybody in middle management and sales has been jonesing for: to live in their ugly ass houses made of in developments named after like an obscure Italian Lake and to eat $27 biscuits every Sat. at a place called like The Cock & Fig unencumbered by the poors.
I am happy to inform all of the people living their Suburban Lifestyle Dream that you will no longer be bothered or financially hurt by having low income housing built in your neighborhood...
I’ve been part of the
@PWUnion1
bargaining unit for the past 8 months trying to negotiate a contract for
@SierraClub
workers who were previously not allowed to unionize and as a result still suffer lower wages, and less protections. Please RT and share this to support our efforts
@paradoomer
Hate it when my six year old comes home and somberly asks: “Dad, where we really made by Dr. Yakub in a lab 6,000 years ago?” And I have to explain to her the truth that “yes, sweetie, yes we were.”
Wrapped a 9 month long contract negotiation at 4am last night w/
@PWUnion1
for
@SierraClub
employees who had a certain class of worker working decades w/o certain protections and pay equity as other workers in the same organization. Happy with what we were able to come away with
On day 8 of no deodorant and realizing deodorant is really like the mask wearing thing—more for everybody else than for you because at the one week mark you really don’t mind your own brand anymore.
Might I suggest Blazers vs. Lakers game 1 as opposed to DNC night 2 tonight? You have arguably the two best players in the world and a comically balding white guy that can jump out of the gym playing an exciting team led by a “clean” rapper in a Potemkin village w/a fake audience
Bought for $800 from a place called “Honest Johnny’s.” Got 4 years of reliable service out of it before I gave it to this guy Scotty who worked the bottle toss at the carnival. In exchange he let me get a peak behind the curtain of how the carnival games are rigged. Invaluable.
Didier Drogba almost singlehandedly ended the Ivorian Civil War. Muhammad Ali refused to be drafted to Vietnam. South Africa being banned from the ‘64 olympics helped end aprtheid but yeah sporpsball, etc.
Read everything in this and be able to recite it before you put one more fucking dime into the McGrath campaign that was never intended to win (by Chuck Shumer’s own admission)
Finally safe for Letcher Countians to go get cold beer at the top of the mountain without getting a ticket for doing 47 in a 45 (bout 7 years too late)
Yesterday, Pound, VA effectively dissolved its police department, which had consumed the majority of the town's general budget.
Today a state attorney sued the town, but just to demand they transfer the evidence room to other law enforcement.
NEW VIDEO:
@SecPompeo
: "There will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration." I don't care if he was joking. This delegitimizing shit ENDS NOW. A solution: we stop the welfare to the financially failing Red States.
Full vid:
Brief version:
I have to log off—I ignored both the cake and roasted watermelon discourse only to have them both figure prominently in a dream that ended with me being attacked by an Alligator while visiting my friend Joel Osteen in Houston, Texas
Nope. The GOATs:
Basketball: Jordan
Track: Bolt
Boxing: Ali
Baseball: Ruth
Golf: Nicklaus/Woods
Swimming: Phelps
Football: Brady
Tennis: Federer
Hockey: Gretzky
Gymnastics: Biles
Soccer: Pele
Sports are great because there are objective metrics of success.
I don’t like when they give the adoptable pets the anthropomorphic soy voice in the listings—like most shelter pets are not gonna sound like guys that say “sporpsballs” just tell me is this beagle mix good with cats and housebroken
It’s hilarious that every NBA front office is now shadow ran not by a guy that ever played the game but by either a guy that finished 12th at the 2006 World Series of Poker Main Event, or a former software engineer for TaxSlayer dot com
BREAKING: Al-Jazeera reports that the 🇮🇱 IDF spokesperson says they had warned regarding evacuating the Al-Ahli Baptist Hospital as well as five other hospitals
Michael Brooks is a guy I Ioved listening to: funny and smart and genuine. He was always complimentary to our show in the most encouraging way. Just awful news. Thinking about Jamie and Sam and everybody close to him.
My message to the companies running gas stations and setting prices at the pump is simple: this is a time of war and global peril.
Bring down the price you are charging at the pump to reflect the cost you’re paying for the product. And do it now.
Trump: When you go into these new homes with showers, the water drips down slowly. You have suds.. beautiful nice wonderful suds. A lot of money. Proctor and Gamble. All that crap that they sell. It takes you 10 minutes to wash your hair
What a difference a year makes
2020 (early pandemic): “If you want to eat at Bob Evans, go eat at Bob Evans!”
2021: “Babydog says you gotta play to win, West Virginia!”