https://t.co/5DbNTt2b78

I genuinely thought everybody snorted cocaine and thought Klopp was a cunt.

Chats at afters are sacred and anyone who partakes in one is duty bound by an unwritten code to leave whatever was said in the kitchen at 7am firmly in the kitchen at 7am. That fella who done the ref is a proper grass and I hope never gets invited out again

Ignorance: is bliss Cole Palmer:

No prouder moment than seeing your friend’s bum cheek as the cover image on Chortle, get in @ThatMurphFella 💪 🍑 🐸

And it didn’t disappoint! 30-goals in the last 4 games, be there or be 🔲 #UpTheChad 🔴

These two in Keegan's suicidal 352 were beautiful to watch.

We view things differently here

Fungai

Badmington is where all these rioters need to go live. A town full of bad mings.

Just seen this headline, clicked on it, and it's some cunt writing about what happened in his Football Manager save. Particularly in transfer news, but also ever, nobody gives a fuck about your Football Manager save.

Or put simply "Class, from a Peace be with you City fan"

Finally got around to listening to Inshallah United by @BeardedGenius and can't recommend it enough. Funny, relatable and moving. Best book I've had in a long time. Get on it.

I heard this transfer was delayed because he wasn't always there when they called

Met this really handsome guy today and came up with a plan for the Edinburgh Fringe wow

It's mad when they make them do the clap off

Only two tickets left for Manchester on Thursday. Get on it.

Just seen @liamwithnail do the best show about pooing since @liamwithnail 's last show about pooing

Get tickets for this guy. One of the best around. Frog and Bucket Tuesday 7th May £15 https://t.co/KjtT7yBhgh

Someone get the West Ham - Man City "We go together" video ready