Dr. Taff Goose (Doctorate in Sports Motivation)
@TaffGoose
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CEO of #NeverStopNotGivingUp . Ex-EPL footballer. Played for 20+ clubs. Motivational speaker. Pundit. Motoring journalist. Head coach @StreathamRovers .
London
Joined March 2017
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Pinned Tweet
Copies of my autobiography GOLDEN EGGS are still available and taking up space in the spare room. Perfect christmas gift for a football fan or even a businessman or entrepreneur.
Got a special treat for you here. As some of you will know, the gaffa
@TaffGoose
is re-publishing a fully revised edition of his self-published autobiography Golden Eggs: My Struggle To Rationalise Non-League Football and here we have an exclusive sample chapter!
#UpTheGreyhounds
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Diaz has answered his parents' kidnappers the best way there is - on the football pitch 💪💪💪💪💪
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I wonder how many people will be brave enough to retweet this? Or will they be too ashamed?
We have nothing to fear but fear itself! LET'S DO THIS 💪💪💪💪💪
#MakeTheCryingGermanGirlTheEuro2020PlayerOfTheTournament
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@StreathamRovers
There's a factual error in this Tel. It wasn't a teambuilding exercise it was a TEAM BONDING exercise. Important distinction 👍
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Can't stand the Taliban, just want to get that clear. But there's no doubting their ability to
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
. If you could take their
#Motivation
onto the football pitch but none of their fundamentalist ideology I honestly believe that would be a recipe for success.
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Love this drawing 👍 It shows how much more dangerous cities would be without road infrastructure 🛣️🚗 Pedestrians should also be paying road tax and petrol tax 💪💪💪💪💪
#motorist
#PoundedAtThePumps
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Lovely video here of the late great
#visionary
Johan Cryuff greeting a homeless man who had somehow got past the stewards and into the stadium. That's a real
#ATouchOfClass
from the Dutch maestro. You'd expect most ex-pros to kick his head in 👏👏👏👏👏👏
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I'll never forget what my father-in-law told me on our wedding day: "The quality of artificial pitches will improve astronomically over the next few decades." He was a UK sales rep for Omniturf and it turned out he was completely right. Time for a rethink on "plastic". RIP.
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I am so angry. For a few weeks I've subscribed to this e-mail newsletter with coaching tips from the Hungarian side of the 1950's but I've realised it was all an elaborate hoax to get me to shout something vile at training sessions. Used this one for my under 8s futsal class.
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Appalling language
"F--- cancer."
The boots Sebastien Haller will wear on his Borussia Dortmund return 💪
(via sebastien.haller/IG)
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Just heard the news. I met Pele once. A complete gent. Thankfully there's a photograph of the momentous occasion. RIP.
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I negotiated some of my best player signings in the Bella Italia in Colliers Wood. I'd sit them down and say "breathe it in lad, breathe in the culture because you'll be playing continental football under my management." Very sad news.
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Mark my words: Ralf Rangnick is going to shake up Manchester United. First thing he'll do? Walk in there and sign the club's first ever protestant player. The traditionalists won't like it but they need to move with the times. Good appointment 👍
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Just been sent a scan of this by a pal. I bought hundreds of packs of these stickers but never got my one! 😅 I was sick of
@warrenbarton2
's ugly mug! 🤣Where do the years go? It flies by so fast.. You realise how insignificant it all is you're just a drop in a deep cold ocean
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Last night was one of my hardest in over 30 years in football. I had to tell our under 18s that a coach we'd put on so their parents could surprise them and watch their final game of the season in Eastbourne had been involved in a terrible accident with dozens of fatalities.
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@IndyFootball
@RichJolly
Perfect example of the
#TurboMotivated
modern footballer. I think you can learn more about a player's mentality from a trip to a Toby Carvery than a whole month of
#preseason
training.
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STATEMENT REGARDING MY ACTIONS YESTERDAY
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Before announcing the retained list for the 2021/22 season I will be sitting down with every player and asking them to fill in a simple three question form before making a final decision. Same for new signings too. I don't want their minds drifting from their football 💪
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Love this photo. In my futsal sessions I play a different boy 1v1 every week. Me and my opponent stand for the
#ChampionsLeague
anthem before the match. It teaches them
#respect
- for their opponent but most importantly for themselves too. Then we go at it. Mano a mano 💪💪💪💪💪
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Diego Maradona. 62nd birthday today. Great player but I just wish he'd apologise to
@peter_shilton
before it's too late. Come on Diego show a little
#ATouchOfClass
on your special day 🎂
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Let's end
#racism
TONIGHT!! 👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿👏👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿
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Looking forward to kicking this off at the start of February 💪💪💪💪💪 Going to be great unlocking the potential of kids aged between 4 and 13 🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸 BOOK NOW TO AVOID YOUR CHILD MISSING OUT
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What if Mikel Arteta had a knife?
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@iamjonnyharvey
Had a similar thing with Pierluigi Collina. Refused to have a photo taken with him at a charity auction because I was convinced he'd get a hair transplant. I was devastated when I found out he'd died.
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Devastated to learn of Joe Kinnear's passing. He was a backwards coach who didn't recognise my huge potential & he really should have played me more regularly and he completely lost control of the dressing room allowed players to behave like animals. Thoughts with his family RIP
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The silver lining was that it wasn't true. There was no coach. It was a psychological test. We've got a good bunch of young players at the club this year but I wanted to test their inner strength before risking moving any of them up to the first team squad 💪💪💪💪💪💪
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Just shared this with the first team squad whatsapp group 💪💪💪
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Still got places available for the Taff Goose School Half-Term Soccer Academy at the Purley Way Soccerdome in Croydon (on the site of the old Water Palace). Starts Monday 17th Feb. Book now to avoid disappointment.
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This is absolute nonsense! I get kids as young as 18 months to head weighted
#futsal
balls in my Taff Goose School Holiday Soccer Academy. It improves neck muscles AND desire. You're not allowed to say it's "political correctness gone mad" these days, but it has. Awful decision.
Primary school children will no longer be able to head a football in training under new guidelines released by the English, Northern Irish and Scottish Football Associations.
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This is the epitome of a
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
attitude. Absolutely top drawer. I don't want players who'll shirk responsibility and hide behind their team mates, I want committed fighters who would drown their own grandmother to get on that pitch. This isn't just a game 💪💪💪💪
PSG confirm women's midfielder Aminata Diallo has been taken into police custody. She allegedly hired masked men to injure her France and PSG teammate Kheira Hamraoui and stop her competing for playing time, per
@lequipe
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A friend at the London FA tells me Southgate is expected to announce his resignation this afternoon. Sad but not unexpected. He failed to beat a Scotland team some of whose players wouldn't even make my Streatham match day squads. Apparently they're looking at my old pal Big Sam.
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@SoccerAM
That really is refreshing. Some of our younger lads haven't even heard of the armed forces though. More interested in instagram and Excel.
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False rumours that Keir Starmer is dead are totally vile. I've been subject of the same thing for over a year now and it really gets to you. My wife even fell for it not once but twice. Pretty soon it gets completely out of control and people are sending interflora wreaths to you
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That was one of the darkest days in my 40 years of football. Not going to say anymore than that. Just know that I'm angry. I'm hurting. But I know one thing. We will bounce back from this. We're going to use this as a springboard for our promotion challenge.
#PositiveThinkEnergy
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@KirstieMAllsopp
I always use Twitter on the ipad when I'm driving Kirstie. Bigger screen than the phone so it's much safer.
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@BazakeMedia
Would love to organise a futsal training session for these poor young girls if they get back alive 💪💪💪💪💪💪
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I'm going to print this out and stick it up on the noticeboard. For any kids reading this who want to improve as players THIS is what
#TurboMotivated
looks like 💪💪💪💪💪 You need to be doing this every time you're within 150 yards of a football.
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I'm still alive.
@TaffGoose
This is absolutely bizarre. Tonight's game between Hove Kingsway and Reigate Heath started with a minute's silence. HE'S NOT DEAD.
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Emotional day for me and the family 👪
When I was a sixteen year old boy with no o-levels drinking a Carling Black Label can filled with the groundsman's piss + dogs muck as part of my initiation ceremony at Millwall I never imagined I'd one day get a degree at a university 🎓❤️
Many congratulations to
@TaffGoose
who was the recipient of an honorary doctorate today for his tireless work in sports motivation. He is pictured here at the Graham Gooch Indoor Sportsplex, where Dr Goose gave a demonstration of his virtual reality tactics talks.
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People ask me if I want to turn Greyhound Lane into a fortress. I say no. They look confused but then I say "let me finish.... I want to turn it into a nuclear war bunker with computers and an air filtration system and enough canned food to last 30 years" 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
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Have to say this is one of the most creative free kick routines I've ever seen 👏👏👏👏👏 Fantastic piece of
#innovation
honed on the training pitch, pulled off with a plomb. Any kids watching at home, this is what you need to do. Get together with your mates and plan plan plan.
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Don't normally comment on politics but this just goes to show what you can achieve with a
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
attitude. When I visit local primary schools to give talks about how playing at my private £20 a day soccer academy can stop knife crime and terrorism I'll cite this.
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This is the most appalling thing I've seen all week. NEVER disrespect the game. We had an opposition goalie get a fatal brain injury from a drone once. We still put the ball in the back of the net. If the last thing I saw was a footballer not doing his job I'd be very unhappy.
🇳🇴👏 An example of peak sportsmanship & professionalism in the Norweigan Premier League by Brann striker, Bård Finne.
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Women: If you have sex with a footballer at any level the night before a game you are sucking out the energy he made a solemn bond with his coaches and teammates to dedicate to beating the opposition. 75% for blowies. 50% for handies. Just stop it. You're ruining our tactics.
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This is infuriating. I've sent him three letters in the past 10 months, the third one contained some very personal information but I've not got a reply. Not one letter. Not a class act at all.
Jurgen Klopp is a class act, here's a brilliant letter he wrote in response to a young Man Utd fan who wrote asking him to stop Liverpool winning games
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Still looking for this girl so I can arrange a one-on-one futsal training session for her. Any help tracking her down much appreciated 👍
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Time for a confession... I'm doing this publicly because I think it's fair to my employer Streatham Rovers FC, their supporters and parents who send their kids to my school holiday soccer academy in Purely Way. Plus my lawyer advised me to do it to build up public sympathy.
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@henrywinter
I always make sure I've got a martial arts trained coach on the staff just in case things get out of hand 👍 Currently got a former junior karate champion working with the under 18s. Saw him roundhouse one who was giving him lip a few weeks ago. Fantastic 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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Delighted to announce a Labour Party advisor has reached out to me and I'll be sitting on one of these courts and will be calling for the return of birching and public executions of paedos. LET'S BRING BACK S.E.L.F.R.E.S.P.E.C.T TO OUR INNER CITY SECONDARY SCHOOLS 💪💪💪💪💪💪
Teachers and sports coaches would sit on new “community courts” to decide how anti-social behaviour is punished under proposals being considered by the Labour Party
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I'm chilled to my bone by this. I've left human turds and dead cats in dressing rooms in my playing days but never anything like this. Appalling 👎
Roxeth Castle FC have left our away changing room in a DISGRACEFUL state following our Fortuna Industrial Lubricants Challenge Cup 5th Round victory at the Greyhound Lane stadium. In a presumably premeditated act they left behind what appears to be a papier-mache goose ON FIRE.
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I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD I AM NOT DEAD
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@StreathamRovers
I'm furious. Prisons too good for these THUGS we need the death penalty in secondary schools
@Miss_Snuffy
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Given a few of the under 18s 'The Call' ☎️
They're playing in a full 90min XI a side match with the first team squad + experienced trialists at training tonight 👏👏👏👏👏👏
It's going to be Vaccinated 💉 v Unvaccinated 💪
Let's settle this debate once and for all!
#NSNGU
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Pathetic
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Incredible to see a training drill I invented used at a major international tournament. It's called the Cones Hotline and builds teamwork, coordination and conditions players against any feelings of shame. Sadly the copyright didn't go through in time so I can't sue their FA.
“I don’t think I’m going to take anything from this drill… it’s one I’m going to cross off the list, that’s for sure!” 😆
Safe to say
@ScottBrown8
won’t be using North Macedonia’s unique training drill in the future 😅
#MKD
|
#ITVFootball
|
#Euro2020
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@StreathamRovers
Keeper looks badly out of position there. What a clown. But take nothing away from the centre forward. Game is dead and buried but he's still got the hunger for goals. He's literally eating goals for breakfast. What I like to call a "hunger striker" 💪💪💪💪
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When I found out I'd planned the tactics for a dozen or so matches based on clips from an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie I genuinely thought I was dying of a heart attack. What an utter disgrace Tactidata are.
@Ofcom
or whoever is responsible needs to throw the book at them 👎👎👎👎
We wanted to alert the wider football community to this. Over the last few months we have paid Tactidata a four-figure fee to produce heatmap visualisation videos of our games but it recently came to our attention they were in fact just using clips from the 1987 movie 'Predator'.
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I turned up with no real plan and not a word of Portuguese. I spent the first afternoon wandering around watching kids playing football. They appreciated a foreign visitor flying halfway round the world to watch them and affectionately called me "o pedofilo".
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It's just one personal kick in my teeth after another
And after everything I've done to improve non league football in this stinking country
We awake to find this vile graffito painted on Club property on the outside of the Greyhound Lane stadium. This will cost us THOUSANDS to fix. We have reported it to the Metropolitan Police as a suspected hate crime - especially given current tensions in the Middle East.
#SRFC
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It's the players I feel sorry for. Man Utd and Liverpool squads will have been fine tuning their bodies to play 90 minutes of top level action. What happens to all that pent up energy and ball aggression? They can hardly go and smash up a petrol station like we used to in the 90s
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@BazakeMedia
Looks nothing like John Terry. I met him once at a charity auction. Wind your necks in everyone fingering an INNOCENT man 👎
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Please stop sending this to me I'm very busy today.
A pitch invading goose at Macclesfield vs Grimsby
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Does anyone speak Spanish? Can you tell me what they're saying??
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I'd go further than that. We need something truly spectacular for Diego. Just thinking out loud here but maybe if
@FIFAcom
liquidated every club in tenth position in leagues around the world and used their facilities to train young short players to help find the next Maradona?
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@BazakeMedia
This is exactly the sort of forward thinking policy that could develop the sort of mentally tough players that could win
#eng
a
#WorldCup2022
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
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Granit Xhaka should go to prison.
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Appalling. My heart goes out to the youngster especially after what that thug did to his old man. Hold tight my boy. At times like these a little
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
positive mental attitude goes a long way 💪💪💪💪💪
It is unclear the severity of Haaland’s injury, where on the fibula the break occurred, or how long it may take for it to heal.
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This is the greatest honour of my life. Literally an honour 💪💪💪💪
Masterchef hosts
@JohnTerry26
and Gregg Wallace, singer Bonnie Tyler and amateur football coach
@TaffGoose
are also recognised, with Team GB's Olympic gold medal-winning women's curling team among the sporting stars honoured.
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Oh hello. This old twitter thing is working again. Anyway, no time to waffle, it's
#MATCHDAY
!
#NeverStopNotGivingUp
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2-0 down but you have to say the French will be licking their lips seeing Angel Di Maria crying his eyes out with joy. This Argentina team are emotionally fragile and ripe for the slaughter. Rule One of
#football
#soccer
— Show No Emotion Ever 💪💪💪💪💪
#TaffGooseSoccerWorldCup
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@mrdanwalker
@rogerfederer
@RafaelNadal
Any young kids looking at this — this is NOT the way to act. This is NOT a
#TurboMotivated
elite sports mentality. You have to
#DehumaniseYourOpponent
at every opportunity. I'm a
#football
#soccer
coach so I know what I'm talking about. To put it bluntly this pair are unmotivated
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It's cheating pure and simple. I've managed at games where so-called fans have leaned over the perimeter barrier, grabbed the keeper's water bottle, urinated in it and then told him as he's drinking it. There was even one case where they added "a floater". This is almost as bad.
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Touch of
#class
on all sides, great to see 👏👏👏
Not always the case. One lad at Streatham rented off another one of the players. Things got strained after an electrical fire in the flat and a baby nearly died. I ended the tenant's playing career for the sake of squad harmony.
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Amazed this is allowed to happen. I'm told several people from the club called 999 last night but they were just told by a mealy mouthed operator that it "isn't an emergency"! Yet if you drive through a pedestrianised al fresco dining area suddenly the Met have lots of resources!
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I am absolutely sick of these rumours that I'm dead. Talking to my lawyer.
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Wish he'd thought about my
#MensMentalHealth
30 years ago when he stuck me in a tumble drier with a cornetto up my bum
It’s time to talk! 🫵🗣️
2 in 3 football fans have struggled with their mental health. So we've teamed up with
@VinnieJones65
,
@ChelseaFC
and
@samaritans
to encourage fans to
#TalkMoreThanFootball
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Going out for petrol. If there's a queue more than 10 minutes long I'll go up to Soho and drive through a pedestrianised al fresco dining area in protest.
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I Don't Field Footballers. I Field Eleven Entrepreneurs Who Use A Ball Instead Of Money 💪💪💪💪
#MatchDayCapitalLettersMotivationMode
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I know exactly how he must feel. But there's no point moping - he's got a job to do now 💪💪💪💪💪
Let the animal live and he loses the changing room.
🚨 | EXCLUSIVE: An anonymous changing room source has claimed Arsenal FC manager Mikel Arteta threatened to have the club's training ground dog put down if the team fail to beat Nottingham Forest in this evening's ongoing Premier League game. The score is currently 0-0.
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@robpowellnews
Speaking as a former Premier League player and a current manager I'm afraid all the youngsters who would have become box to box midfielders 30 years ago are turned into wingbacks nowadays. If I saw a box to box midfielder in 2021 there's no way I'd play him. Zero discipline.
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I'd rather die than limit my speed to 20mph
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I think what everyone forgets about
#OJSimpson
was that he was first and foremost a
#TurboMotivated
top level
#elite
sportsman. Most rushman yards in an NBA season. Sure he maybe killed a couple of people but that's just a byproduct of
#TurboMotivation
once you retire from sport.
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Simon Hedges 👏👏👏👏👏 What a breath of fresh air that man has been. A lot of newer Streatham fans have just been young people who want to get drunk and sing chants all game (which really puts off the younger players) but Simon is cut from a classier cloth. Hope you win it pal.
I've been nominated for Campaigner of the Year in the Civility in Politics Awards! Thank you to everyone who recommended me!
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@_PaulHayward
They should all wear balaclavas to hide their identities from each other too to make sure there's no friendliness 👍
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I've been reading a book about the French Revolution that I got for chrimbo - as soon as I found out about the metric time system I was straight on the phone to the chairman. This is what sets Rovers apart from the rest of the glorified village teams in our league: imagination 👍
Streatham Rovers FC are delighted to announce that we will be adopting Decimal Time on a trial basis starting from tomorrow. First used in France in the 1790s, the move is the brainchild of manager
@TaffGoose
who believes it will help the club operate on a more rational basis.
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That's a proper
#ATouchOfClass
. Meanwhile as a
#football
#soccer
coach I've got rival so-called supporters sticking cat's business up my Mondeo exhaust. Subhuman scum. No other word for it.
#ALackOfClassAndRESPECT
Some Dutch F1 fans bought these guys in Mercedes merch a Red Bull in Budapest. Harmless AND funny. This is how it should be.
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@dinosofos
Before everyone criticises think about this — he could have had an anti aircraft rocket launcher in one of those big camera lenses
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I would advise any young kids out there who want to make it as a professional footballer to not have sex for at least three days before a match. The night afterwards is fine. Save your hunger and desire for the game.
#HyperMotivation2023
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@StreathamRovers
Looks like a bomb hit it. If this causes a fixture pile up I'll consider tenderising my resignation
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@Keir_Starmer
There's a bunch of local kids who call me "Tactics W*nker" I've got their names and addresses can I send them to you please?
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I am absolutely thrilled to make this forward step in my career and can't wait to rebuild this team. This is a historic club with a a great TEAMPLEX, just needs a change of direction on the pitch 👍🤝💪
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I'm getting
#PoundedAtThePumps
. We need to do something about it. It's time... to
#FillUpAndDriveOffWithoutPaying
. Who's with me? 💪💪💪💪💪
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If anyone's got anyway of contacting these guys on the submarine I'd love to organise a futsal training session for them when they get out 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Might lift their spirits
#PositiveMindset
💪💪💪💪💪💪
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Someone just told me Edinburgh is to the west of Belgium and I couldn't believe it so I got out my AA road atlas of Europe and sure enough they're right. Love amazing facts 👍
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Just looked up what I was doing on 20th May 2020. 2 hour training session to keep the lads fresh. Rondo, futsal, 2 v 2, futevólei. Mate of mine runs the Soccerdome on Purley Way and opened up for us. You've got to find every little marginal gain even if it breaks the law 💪💪💪💪
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