Carl Kinsella
@TVsCarlKinsella
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it's called a sunny disposition ever heard of it
Joined October 2013
rest in peace Princess Diana you would have loved this.
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We all talk a lot about how Google search doesn’t work anymore but Spotify disemboweling the meaning of the word “shuffle” actually frustrates me on a more primal level.
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KAMALA HARRIS: We did it Joe!.JOE BIDEN: thank you Slobodan Milosevic.
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on behalf of ireland can we please communicate to the people of Chicago that they really don't have to do that to their river.
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i just looked up 'javelina' and let me tell you golf is not winning a PR war against these guys
Come along with me on my carnage (I mean course) check this morning. What should be one of the most beautiful golf courses in the country is being destroyed by herds of javelina. If anyone has a contact in AZ state govt that can help us find a solution please pass it along.
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a very easy choice
We’re looking for some tweets to turn into movies.
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The Duolingo owl and the Hooters owl are brothers. One chose the path of knowledge. The other, the path of jumbo bazoingas, short shorts and chicken wings. An unbridgeable schism. A tale as old as time.
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With a click of their fingers, TWO French billionaires have given €300million to restore Notre Dame. Just imagine if billionaires cared as much about uhhhh human people.
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FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous. SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.
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WATERGATE GUY: you need to make sure my identity stays a secret.WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN: that's fine we'll just use a codename. WATERGATE GUY: oh yeah like what?.WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN: oh just something normal.
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they need to bring back the era of Guinness advertising that was like “drink Guinness with me, the crab”
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ME NOTICING THAT THE GUY WHO WROTE 'THE BIG SHORT' HAS BEEN HANGING AROUND ME FOR SIX MONTHS: is this good.
Michael Lewis, the writer behind The Big Short, has been traveling with Sam Bankman-Fried for the last 6 months is writing his next book on the FTX founder, per Bloomberg.
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I love how Pickford’s vibe whenever he makes a save is “Why are you making me do this”.
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ooh, the same six songs you suggest every day, in the same order as yesterday? don’t mind if I do.
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FRANZ FERDINAND: do they remember me .ME: *encouragingly* sort of. There’s a band named after you. FRANZ FERDINAND: are they good .ME: *encouragingly* sort of.
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i don't know how to explain this exactly, but whenever i hear "noam chomsky" i picture this guy
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how it feels to be the only person alive who likes, dislikes, thinks about, and listens to Taylor Swift the exact correct amount
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"In another life, I would have really liked just drinking Cerveza Cristal con mis amigos.”
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imagine having this kind of crazy off-the-charts sexual chemistry with everyone you meet
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one of the categories today was “words that rhyme”.
some of you need to quietly admit to yourselves you’re not actually built for NYT connections.
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Martin Freeman is simply not believable as an American. This is the face of a man who has watched The Clangers
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you know, there was another “Carpenter” who had a pretty interesting “outro”.
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just saw a magpie and my mam goes “one in sight is worth two in flight” goddamn how many fuckin rules do these birds have. an entire fuckin constitution.
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this is always the hardest, darkest time of year. six months since creme egg, six months until creme egg.
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if I was asked by an English broadcaster whether Irish people need more education about Anglo-Irish history I genuinely do not know how I would react.
The Ireland women's team apologise for singing a song referencing the IRA following their world cup qualification win against Scotland last night.
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#HowToConfuseAMillennial . Destroy the housing market.Replace grad jobs with unpaid internships.Tell them to buy a house.
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black mirror idea: an owl texts you every single day to make you feel bad because you can’t speak Spanish.
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I always love the “getting the gang back together” parts of a movie. I would watch a movie that’s just two hours of getting the gang back together and that’s it.
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we build an 'unsinkable' cruise liner, then crash it into an iceberg in 1912, so we can sell tickets for a makeshift submersible to visit the wreckage 4000m below sea level, and then when it goes missing, we use the publicity to get free Blink 182 tickets
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I’m obsessed with the drama here. He’s done a new version with a new woman and the fans have absolutely TURNED on him.
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French Goalkeeper Steve Mandanda has a brother called Parfait Mandanda. Meaning that their parents called one of their children Perfect, and the other one Steve.
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seems unthinkable that Meta could be laying off 11,000 employees when just weeks ago they were basking in the triumph of "legs are coming soon".
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Boston Market tweeted this and the entire thread below is just them hiding replies of people sending pictures of a man fucking a raw chicken. The brands get what they deserve.
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BRITS: What must the rest of the world think of us right now?!. REST OF THE WORLD: We have hated you literally forever, and today is the same.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the seventh thing with this title to have been released in the past five years
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I’d have cast Daniel Day Lewis as Waluigi simply to see what happens when a man has to live as Waluigi for two fucking years.
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EXCLUSIVE: Natalie Portman, Ben Millepied fight for marriage amid affair with 25-year-old
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Baz Luhrmann asking a TikToker who doesn't know who he is "What is the point of the conversation we're having?" is a really illustrative moment for the creative climate I think.
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Beyoncé needs to do a version of Hotel California where you can just leave whenever and everything is normal.
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Marko Arnautovic is a great example of what you can achieve when you hate every manager you play for, every team you play for, all your teammates, and the very idea of football.
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if Chicken Run 2 doesn't have 'The Plot Chickens' as its tagline then what's the point.
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these men would have not survived even the most lenient Irish secondary school bully
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IRELAND: we’ll be speeding up the reopening process starting today .WEATHER: oh will ya? have some thunder, lightning and hail in the middle of June ya stupid cunt.
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Woah that voice. Reminds me of his father, Old Blue Eyes, Woody Allen.
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EGYPT: we got sphinxes!.GREECE: we got minotaurs!.CHINA: we got dragons!.IRELAND: we got a salmon.EGYPT:.CHINA:.IRELAND: a real smart salmon.
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SKY NEWS MAN: Maybe there's a need for more education.IRISH 8-YEAR-OLD WHO JUST HAD TO READ 'UNDER THE HAWTHORN TREE':
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hello Spotify it appears that I have identified an issue with your service.
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HEALTH & SAFETY: What's in there?.FOUNDER: Oh, that's the uh. Chamber of. Safety. BASILISK: Ssss. H&S: What's that?.FOUNDER: Ssssafety.
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I will go out of my way to eat at Red Hen in Lexington.
Last night I was told by the owner of Red Hen in Lexington, VA to leave because I work for @POTUS and I politely left. Her actions say far more about her than about me. I always do my best to treat people, including those I disagree with, respectfully and will continue to do so.
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Woah Katy Perry absolutely chose the right 24 hours to bury the most embarrassing rollout of a single I’ve ever seen in my life.
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I hate when a TV show starts a new season by introducing a new character we've never met before because it's almost NEVER Desmond from Lost. It's only ever been him ONCE (Lost, Season 2).
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Honestly I can't get my head around the government voting to give three of its ministers, already on €124,000 a year, a €16,000 pay increase. I just can't get my head around it. It's so deeply and comically and villainously unfair.
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the one and only
age yourself using one graphic t-shirt I'll go first
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A second person has died of COVID-19, with 39 new cases confirmed. Twice as many new cases as yesterday. LEAVE THE PUB AND GO THE FUCK HOME.
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this is such a funny tweet. “300,000 people have enjoyed the traffic free streets, it’s been a major success and everyone loves it! we are terminating it with immediate effect”.
Over the last 11 weeks, more than 300,000 people have experienced the traffic-free streets of Capel St & Parliament St. This weekend is the final scheduled weekend so be sure to check it out! #Dublin #CityRecovery #Pedestrianisation
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ALBUS: Only the most powerful magic can destroy a horcrux.HARRY: Gotcha.ALBUS: Do you?.HARRY: Gonna need one hell of an Expelliarmus.ALBUS:.
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a few months from now there will be a tweet that says "wordle was the banana bread of omicron" and it will have 20k retweets.
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COME ON GREAT BRITAIN.Taoiseach = TEA SHOCK.Tánaiste = TAWN ISH TA. We all learned to pronounce Worcestershire. You can do this.
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If you have tickets to Chappell Roan in Dublin tonight please do the funniest possible thing by repeatedly turning to the people around you and saying things like “Ah, I don’t know this one” and “I can’t stay until the end”.
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KENDALL ROY: yeah so we’re going totally fucking Goblin Mode here guys *answers phone* uh hey dad, uh yeah, yeah I thought maybe it would be good to go Goblin Mode. uh-huh, uh-huh, no, yeah, you’re right.
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Fair play for telling this story in a way that makes the manager sound absolutely as cool as possible.
@annefcirl The Pavillions SC Swords. Centre Manager dismissed my concerns. When I said I wanted to make a complaint he replied saying well you have. Didn't take name or number
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Ireland being free to condemn Israeli actions in Gaza, out of step with the EU at large, is a pretty firm reminder of why our neutrality matters so much, btw. We simply don't hold the same attitudes as many of the nations it's suggested we should ally with, militarily.
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Me after two pints when somebody asks me for my life plans.
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When Eminem roasts you so bad that the Queen doesn't want to meet you anymore.
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Reminder that the story of how Alan Alda met his wife Arlene is pure goals.
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The most Irish non-Irish word in the world is without a doubt. AMN’T.
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Scotland have a touch of Ireland about them in the sense that they are trying to win a football match without doing any of the things required in order to win a football match.
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thought about it for five days and it might be this
Gun to to your head, what is the *best* Simpsons joke? However you wanna define it; pics, GIFs, clips, and overwrought explanations welcome.
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Ryan Tubridy says if Greta Thunberg were a movie, he'd press pause. If Ryan Tubridy were a movie, I'd put my foot through the TV.
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ALBUS: Got Dementors to protect Hogwarts this year. They suck souls out! Indiscriminately!.KIDS: . STAFF: . ALBUS: I can't control them.
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I love this because it suggests that they did one joint Junior Cert as Jedward.
We did get an A in our C.S.P.E. (Civic, Social & Political Education).
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JUNIOR CERT CANCELLED is so funny to me. It’s like a headline in the daydream of the world’s most generic 13-year-old.
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BERNIE SANDERS’ GRANDSON IS WEARING AN IRELAND JERSEY
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petition to take the little Union Jacks off Reeboks.
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The Daily Mail is literally, openly gearing up for its 'Meghan Markle kills Prince Phillip' front page.
#PrincePhilip clearly in very poor health hence the transfer to St Bart's a specialist cardiac hospital. #HarryandMeghanonOprah should think very carefully about the timing of the release of that 'no holds barred' interview.
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I can't believe they're trying to introduce fares to the Luas. It should remain free.
@DubIinBus A valid ticket is needed to travel on Luas - Sally.
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- They're apartments, not houses. - There will be 1,269 apartments. - Only 126 (10%) of them will be social housing. - The social housing will cost €243,000 for a one-bedroom apartment, just over €358,500 for a two-bed, and €442,000 for a three-bed. - It's still not built.
And they said Cherrywood (new town in South Dublin) would never be built. 1,300 new homes under construction here
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LONDON: Here’s your Oyster card because the world is your oyster!.DUBLIN: Here’s your Leap Card you disgusting frog.
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there are 850 properties to rent in ireland right now. total. nationwide.
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We're about five minutes away from Stephen Donnelly announcing that all of our vaccines were being stored on the big ship stuck in the Suez Canal for some reason.
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ALBUS: Honestly, Minerva. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. ALBUS: .ALBUS:.ALBUS: You're just a normal cat, aren't you?.CAT: Meow.
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there's a whole TV show about how you can be detained for bringing an apple into their country.
Whatever the rights and wrongs of the Djokovic case, Australia’s reputation as a laidback “no worries mate” lucky country has been shredded by the pandemic.
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sorry that we understand the importance of pageantry.
Why are so many horror movies dealing with Catholics? Y'all having trouble making Protestant horror flicks?.
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Damn girl, are you September? Because I have no idea what you're still with your Meán Fomhair.
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You won, New Zealand. Enjoy the normal society, I hope it makes you very happy. Dear lord, what a sad little life, New Zealand. You've ruined my night completely.
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HARRY: There's Voldemort.RON: Now's our chance.HARRY: Gonna do Expelliarmus.RON: Harry, come on, it's Vol-.HARRY: IT'S THE ONLY ONE I KNOW.
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A long-term goal of mine has been to lead a disinformation campaign which claims that the Luas is free until enough people believe it that they have no choice but to give in and make the Luas is free. So if anyone ever asks you, remember: the Luas is free.
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get in the car kids. me and your mam are sick so we're going to go and test my eyesight on the fuckin motorway.
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i think i speak on behalf of the nation when i say please stop addressing us.
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