Tom Henry
@T0m_Hen
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Over the last few years I’ve transitioned from ‘Eurovision? You mean that song thing?’ To ‘if Austria and Australia don’t both make it through the semi I’m going to fucking riot.
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I would 100% be behind Graham Norton and Huw Edwards swapping roles for the Coronation and Eurovision.
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I’ve been a parent for 5 weeks. So far it has consisted of coming up with a theory about why my baby is upset, pledging my allegiance to the new theory and discarding the previous theory as the ramblings of a naive rube only to repeat the process between 1 and 24 hours later
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5 am and so far my newborn has peed and vomited on me. Real chances of the full house today.
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With the sheer number of times my wife says no to me getting a kebab for dinner I can only logically conclude she’s bought me one for Christmas.
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If you're ever frustrated with an experiment, consider the example of the Queensland Pitch Drop Experiment begun in 1927, the longest running experiment... and I want to really make this land for you... STILL HAS NOT technically yielded a single direct observation as of 2022.
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Glos rugby and cheltenham races today, like a choose your drunks adventure.
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It's a cabinet reshuffle, but in the same way I shake the Quality Street tin on January 4th, hoping there might something good left in there rather than just toffee pennies.
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Six weeks as PM and not a single mention of cheese imports.
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I've just checked my diary, and I'm pretty sure I can slip in a couple of days as either Chancellor or Home Secretary if it would help (although I know such a lengthy stint would be a bit greedy in the current circs.)
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a clinic to donate blood. The doctor says to the rabbit: "What's your blood type?" "I'm probably a Type O", the rabbit replied with great sadness.
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Saw a badger on my run tonight. First thought ‘that is one hell of a stripey cat’
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