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Suspicious Minds Profile
Suspicious Minds

@SuspiciousM

Followers
303
Following
332
Media
1
Statuses
191

You're following me. I can tell.

Joined August 2014
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
11 years
Does this little black dress pair well with misunderstood feelings and lifelong despair? I thought so.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
11 years
My cat believes in the power of the therapy of licking herself repeatedly in the same place until all her hair is gone. So...bald spots.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
11 years
Just so you know, I can pull off dumb pretty well.
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@tastefactory
pat tobin
12 years
Being an adult is basically that feeling when the fireworks are over and it's time to go home, but all the time.
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@VirgoSherry
VirgoSherry
12 years
I don't know how to do happy. There I said it.
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@MichelleDBlonde
The Blonde One
12 years
You know that instinct you get that tells you NOT to Google something? Yeah, I'm going to need to start listening to that.
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@Knob_ish
KindaNuttyOldishBloke
12 years
Yeah, it's all shits and giggles until someone shits themselves when they giggle.
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@_SetTheHook_
southpaw ☘
12 years
This is a Public Service Announcement: Fat guys in the north, you only have four more months to wear shorts.
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@greeneyedmomsta
Jenitals
12 years
My second language is profanity
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@Tmoney68
You know
12 years
I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.
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@dafloydsta
Floyd
12 years
[on a first date] Me: So do you like puppies? Her: Oh I love them Me: Ok, so we'll both have the puppies Waiter: Excellent choice, sir
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
Not sure who I am yet, but I'll keep looking until I find out.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
There's a bottle of wine beside my bed, but there is no wine. Shit.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
I suspect you of everything. That's just how I am. I know you did it. You're proven guilty because you're a person, and people are guilty.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
My single focus is narrowing. I need more in my life than horses and shit and wine. But what? Oh yes. A good fuck. That's what.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
Lying in my little black dress on the bedroom carpet, one knee crossed over the other, waving a wine glass over my head. Of course I'm sober
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
I swish the wine around in my glass like I can sample it and know what I'm looking for.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
Rocking out across my kitchen floor with my arms wrapped around a broom, because that, guys, is where the magic is made.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
Good morning, wine. Don't leave me.
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@SuspiciousM
Suspicious Minds
12 years
A little black dress, a glass of wine, and myself. Good times.
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