Storm Dove 🕊️⚕️𓂀
@StormCloudGloom
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Utilitarian. Compassion and research driven. Wishing to bridge the gap between divides. 🏗️🌉 Friendly DM’s open. Overcoming CPTSD. #transwidow
Tranada
Joined March 2023
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When I first wrote my story I didn’t understand twitter so here’s my story reedited:
The last 6 months of my marriage my husband completely changed. He started drinking, came out as trans, and became abusive. Every day I was psychologically beat down, most days 1/
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My roommate made a comment about how JK Rowling hates trans people and we had words. I basically said: “Whats polarizing people is perpetuating ideas like that. That’s a bold claim and I happen to know you can’t back that up. I’ve read what she said, all of it, more than once..
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You guys, I’m still in the trans wives support group I joined and it is SO FUCKING SAD in there. These poor women are trying so hard to frame the most fucked up situations as normal and rare. Except every story is a family ripped apart or women who are secretly mourning, at best.
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I cannot tell you how many times I considered suicide since my husband came out as trans. But I can’t stand the idea of him ending my story like that, stealing my identity, and snuffing out my fire. I will live just to spite him. ✊
@AskATranswidow
My friend took her life recently. All I can think is that her husband becoming a “woman” is why. She passed less than a month ago, he is all over the place prancing his new found freak show online. It’s shocking how fast he moved on from her death!
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‘Trans women’ want a period so bad, a commentary:
My period was late a week. Aside from panicking that I’d have to deal with pregnancy on top of everything else right now (I’m 30 days out from escaping my abusive trans husband) I had a double today, the heaviest of flow days. 1/
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A baby born of surrogacy is not allowed to be seen/touched by the woman that gestated. That baby is robbed of the skin to skin contact and bonding that happens right after birth, and after. In some cases they will never know a mother. SO MUCH of a persons personality problems 1/2
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Saw a picture of my trans husband come up on my feed today in a wig and my clothing. Erection on full display. Not a fetish tho? Made me feel real good.
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For the last 6 months my marriage turned abusive. My partner started drinking when they came out as trans. It’s been a nightmare ever since. Every single day I was emotionally beat down, most days included violent outbursts and some threats. Many thrown and broken things.
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He did try to argue that it wasn’t political and i was like I’m sorry but it is. Unless we can have a conversation about the nuance of her words it most definitely is political.
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borrowed. Superb. Anybody who wants a period is living in the deepest of delusions. And who pays?? Women. Now to hopefully sleep before my day two double tomorrow. 😴 /4
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Can’t stop crying today. I miss the time when I thought I started my life and my husband wasnt trans/mean. I miss before my life and career were destroyed. I hate my life so much. I resent that I am working two entry level jobs while he works from home in the house we bought. 😭
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Thats funny. How does any of that trump women’s rights to same sex safety?? How can he seriously sit there and completely forget all the women who deserve the same thing. If your ‘rights’ include taking away rights from another group its not a right, it’s a privilege.
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As a trans widow I do research about autogynephilia a lot. And like
@DrDebraSoh
and
@BlanchardPhD
love to conveniently defend autogynephilia as relatively harmless and normal without ever saying word about their partners. You are being willfully ignorant.. 1/2
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Its either the partner had surgery & theres complications, lets warn others not to use this doctor, anger over all the legislation, worry about their partner being obsessed about the legislation, straight up abuse, or at best feeling guilty that theyre sad/miss their partner. 😭
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and she doesn’t. What she does say is intended to open up a dialogue. And if we have any intention of bridging the gap between divides then we have to be willing to at least have a debate. (Thats what I mean in my bio, btw, fuck u TRAs) and we have to stop making such bold…
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Claims like someone hates trans people because that isnt true and completely shuts down the debate.” He was shocked at my response and had nothing further to say. We went back to what we were doing. Maybe I planted a seed. This began cuz he said doesnt want to support HP anymore.
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To all the people misgendering me (LOL) I am a woman and my husband is the trans woman. You’re confused because trans people have fucked up everything including our ability to basically communicate. I did, however, use the right words so go ahead and reread.
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Correct me if Im wrong, but I feel like the collective opinion on trans has shifted from when I first arrived to X last March. The terven sort of accepted trans as a thing, but that it didnt give you any special privleges. Now I feel like everyone is like trans isnt real at all.>
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@KatMullaly
Theres a marked difference. The ‘trans wives’ still think the relationship is salvagable. Widows understand their fate.
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Having to work two entry level jobs to try and get back on my feet while exhausted and trying not to bleed on anything. All so my husband can satisfy his sexual fetish of wearing a dress and drink like a fish. I had a career, I owned my apartment. Now everything I have is 3/
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Are developed in the first two years of life, especially vulnerable is attachment bonding. These children are denied the most fundamental human connection from day one. What kind of problems are we setting them up for in their lives? And for what: selfishness. 2/2
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Do you know why they don’t allow the touch? Because its so incredibly powerful that even one moment together forms a bond, and they dont want the mother to have to go thru that. They know how important that moment is. Why are we denying this to the most vulnerable, babies!?
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Couldnt sleep because I was afraid of staining my borrowed sheets and finally got up at 5am. Working from 8am-9pm. No break, no lunch, no rest. Ive barely had time to go to the bathroom today. I am tired like Im not sure ive ever been, my period just takes the piss out of me. 2/
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@lucy_thevegan
This is kind of a hilarious comment. One she doesn’t hate trans people so two i cant agree with her hating them. Nonsense.
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About the prevalence of DV and the other half of the people theyve built their lives with. How. Dare. You. I have lost respect for any medical professional that doesn’t consider the worldwide harm that autogynephilia does to women. Stop ignoring us.
#transwidows
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support peoples right to be themselves even if means self harm/abuse! Trans people arent perfect and ignoring the reality of that is not bigotry. It’s enabling abuse. I am not alone/unique/rare. If youd like to hear other stories like mine please visit 14/
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I am a liberal female. I support everyones right to be who they are as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else. But I think we have opened our minds a little too much and have left gaping loop holes for abuse with the way were going about this right now. We have gone so far as to 13/
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I had no part of the discussion of his feelings or what he wanted. He had those conversations with people online. All decisions were dictated to me and when I didn’t celebrate or show happiness and raised concerns I was called a terf and transphobe. 4/
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I thought I found my perfect person. I sold my car, quit my job, moved to a new country for them. Then 6 months later they came out as trans and flipped my whole world upside down. We moved to the middle of nowhere. I have no local friends, most of my family is dead.
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thousands of miles to a new country for him. Six months later he came out as trans and flipped my world upside down. We moved to the middle of nowhere. I had no local friends, most of my family is dead.
Every step of the transition was cruelly thrown in my face, 3/
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being a ‘gatekeeper,’ for simply asking for help with being isolated in a foreign country with an abusive alcoholic. Because I also struggled with the trans and suggested that he is mentally ill they considered me a bigot.
He threatened to hit and kill me. He even tried. 7/
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the equipment I need to do my career. I am now working on starting over.
I love him. So fucking much. I want to be with him. But this ‘woman’ is not who I married, and he refused to get any mental health help whatsoever. Because transness isnt considered a mental illness! 10/
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Every time I tried to share my feelings they were shut down. Every problem in our marriage was my fault. Some of his family echoed this sentiment. Even tho I have been GC since the first I heard of trans, I was a SJW and radical leftist and all my friends were extremely 5/
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included violent outbursts/threats. Many thrown/broken things. I cried and struggled to sleep at night. Every night felt like a battle in my mind I had to survive. Every day living a walking nightmare. I thought I found my perfect person. Sold my car, quit my job, moved 2/
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I am a liberal. I am a female. I support everyones right to be who they are as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else. But I think we have opened our minds a little too much and have left gaping loop holes for abuse with the way were going about this right now.
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supportive of anything trans. I thought I was a bigot and tried to accept and be supportive. I gave him my clothes, made him clothes, shared make up, and did his hair. I used his new name and pronouns.
When reaching out to friends for help they disowned or ghosted me for 6/
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As someone with depression, anxiety, and CPTSD I am considered mentally ill. I see a therapist 1-3 times a week to handle my condition. I am a responsible member of society. I am mentally ill. Thats ok. 12/
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TRAs shut out all conversation so completely that they cut themselves off from any ability to keep the terven sympathetic at all to trans. The have created the intolerance they cry about constantly from their own actions. Its not going to get any better for them, its too late. 🤷🏽♀️
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uncontrolably, and projectile vomiting even water. I couldn’t sleep. A human can only take so much stress. At that point I had to escape. I have one family member I can ask for help and I did. If I didn’t I would have ended up in the hospital or worse. I left my entire life, 9/
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Regardless of the myriad of other issues that every trans person has, getting therapy isn’t part of the social pressures. This narritive is very dangerous, for reasons illustrated on this thread. 11/
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He screamed, called me names, and belittled me every single day. To the point of a mental breakdown. I was physically sick to match my mental state. Then, things got even worse. The drinking escalated to a 1/5th a day, and the abuse was nonstop. I was shaking and crying 8/
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@terfforever
My ex also acted like this. He had a very nice paying job that did nothing but pander to his name change and such. His mom and dad are still together and alive, many siblings and friends, tons of support. Just miserable fighting the trans fight tho. 🙄
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It makes me so irate that I pay the price so he can play dress up with my clothing, post pictures of it, and talk to titty streamers on twitch 🤬
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Three days ago, I escaped. I have *one* family member I can ask for help and I did. If I didn’t I would be in the hospital right now, that I know for sure. I left my entire life, the equipment I need to do my career. I have to start over and/or figure out help them from afar.
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When reaching out to friends for help they disowned me for being a ‘gatekeeper,’ for simply asking for help with an abusive alcoholic because I’m a bigot for suggesting that this person is mentally ill.
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My pet troon/genspectgate has made me want to leave X & the GC fight more than anything else actually. What is the point of bearing soul about being married to a troon just to be disregarded by collegues we look up to who turn around & tell us their friendships matter more? 1
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@transwidows
Whats funny is that I started my journey on your website. I will be forever grateful. But even funnier is that I heard about TW because transpartner support groups were talking shit about us!! Let them talk their shit, thats how we’ll find each other! ✊
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And not only that but in men its a dangerous paraphilia we cannot tolerate, and in women it’s peer pressure and self hatred. Which I think is because we’re talking about it and realizing truths. I think this is the consequence of no debate. Instead of actually having the debate >
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@AniseNot
Women weren’t thinner. That idea is a lie. Women of all sizes existed in the 20th century North America.
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One time to terrorize me my alcoholic trans husband blasted music for a few days straight. During the wee hours of the morning it switched to my music. Music I’d never heard him ever play before, it was too obscure- 1/2
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@SuperMessi10i
@dizzydoinggreat
Nobody is claiming to understand the entire relationship. Just pointing out blaring red flags?
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Do not be this person. Do not attack grieving women because you don’t like the words they use to identify themselves. It’s downright hypocracy. If you want trans identities to be respected don’t disrespecting everyone else. Its actually whats gross.
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I love this person. So fucking much. I want to be with them. But this person is not who I married, and they refuse to get any mental health help whatsoever. Because transness isnt a mental illness!! This narritive is actually dangerous, for reasons illustrated on this thread.
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As someone with depression, anxiety, and CPTSD I am considered mentally ill. I see a therapist 1-3 times a week to handle my condition. I am a smart and responsible member of society. I am mentally ill. Thats ok.
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@mscots41
Also part of the problem is that they *might* pass in a picture or maybe even a well made video but in real life people can tell. Its biology.
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@JeremyShawMD
Having my husband come out as trans and then doing research to try and support him. I quickly discovered how quickly people get affirmed and started on transition.
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Oops I’m a ding dong. It’s
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-clearly a targeted message. I cannot quite describe how bizarre it feels to have your own music blasted at you so that you cannot sleep for days by your life partner. Surreal. 2/2
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All I do is consume negative stuff (twitter, anti porn, true crime, etc) and I know this is affecting my anxiety. I need to relax and be positive, but nothing on media interest me anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions? I like non-fiction and learning.
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@Melbourne_lurk
@gay_lumberjack
They will likely shift blame to doctors (who are guilty) when it becomes too obvious to refute.
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Last week, things got even worse than they have been. The drinking escalated to a 1/5th a day, and the abuse was nonstop. I was shaking and crying uncontrolably, and projectile vomiting even water. A human can only take so much stress.
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Gender ideology destroyed my life. I don’t kno what to do anymore. I dont have any direction.
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They’ve threatened to hit and kill me. They’ve even tried. They screamed, called me names, and belittled me every single day. To the point of a mental breakdown.
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If you think trans widow is inappropriate let me point out that my hearts other half died without a trace. His spirit has transformed, not moved to another plane. I can’t feel the man I loved in this universe anymore.
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@cindersCA
Wokeness for sure. Fear of repercussions. Some of them are into it sexually. and love yeah. I thought I was a bigot for my feelings, i know others do too.
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@qriator
@ConfedMatthew
I dropped my wallet in front of a bar in NYC once. A busser picked it up and gave it to the bartender. She looked me up on instagram and told me to come get it! All the cash was still inside, and they wouldnt take a cash tip for returning it! Crazy nice for NYC 😮💨
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I’ve thought so much about the term trans widow. Ive thought a lot about people that say its inaccurate/inappropriate. I cant describe how alone and unanchored I feel in this world after leaving my ex. I think about him every. Single. Day. I miss him. I want him to be happy. But
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I wish I could post my exs before and after next to my picture. He also took my name. He has also said both to my face and to the internet recently that he wont be happy until I’m dead. Like he wants to replace me maybe? D A N G E R O U S.
They all look like their wives. It makes me wonder. I don’t necessarily think that they try to look like their wives - I think they FIND wives that they want to look like.
My physically abusive ex-boyfriend (from over a decade ago) came out as trans a few years ago. He was…
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@HazelAppleyard_
We dont talk about the pain trans people cause their family enough. My MIL was talking to me last night about how my ex is still terrorizing her. Shes heartbroken and misses her son. Shes in agony and he doesnt give a shit.
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This response made me feel so seen I immediately cried. Thank you, Jeremy. 😭
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Im so 😳 by this. Do you recognize this fella? I bet you do…
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@lascapigliata8
@claretracy61
@authenticTERF
@transwidows
Not gonna lie, as a trans widow myself my heart SANK as I read this. I’m already tired of debating this. Tired of watching people decide if its ok for me to describe my pain accurately.
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I did it y’all. I started arguing about the term cis on my non anon facebook. 😬😬😬😬😬
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I found out that the TiF I work with is “gay” yesterday. Basically another spicy straight. 🙄 Except its actually really sad because shes in her early 20s & already had top surgery. So she likes men but cut her breasts off. That will surely never become a problem for her… 😬😖🥴
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@SophieInSummer
I did a little and he said well tell me what she says then. And I’m like well that’s gonna take a minute and we’re playing board games so perhaps another time.
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@VickiMDonovan
I am not trans. Just a woman. Donno why thats a hard concept. Maybe its because trans people have confused the world.
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@eyre_ann
Just for anyone reading the comments:
Transwidows don’t tell these stories for your sympathy, which is very kind. But just to be clear. We’re telling these stories do you remember who these people are. I think it’s easy to forget when you haven’t lived it.
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Calling yourself a widow is solidarity, not disrespect.
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@lucy_thevegan
Well first off transphobic means afraid of trans, and frankly most people are not.
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I am not alone. I am not unique. I am not rare. Every day I find more and more examples of my story. Trans people are not perfect and ignoring the reality of that is not bigotry. It’s enabling abuse.
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I WAS JUST OFFERED A JOB!!! It’s like my 3rd choice, but hey!! I’m gonna make it!! 🥹
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This isnt a breakup of relationship, this is a dissolution of a person, much like a death is. I want to be with my husband. But he doesnt exist. If he did I’d be with him.
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Whats worse is we have gone so far as to support peoples right to be themselves even if that means self harm or even abuse!! If you’re resisting my story right now, ask yourself why.
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Because our silly hysterical opinions on the dangerousness of these imposters are inconvenient? Where is the integrity? The constant infighting on the GC side is good actually. Its a symptom of integrity. We don’t let imposters and charlatans run in the movement. 2
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To every single one of the people that have followed me since making this account in March: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It makes me feel like somebody cares (even just a lil) and I need that more than anyone knows right now. ❤️🩹
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…it never felt the same. When we kissed for the last time it felt like a stranger. Hes gone. So when yall think it’s cute or harmless to casually debate over what I should call the absolute utter devastation of my life its at very least insensitive, but mostly cruel.
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My heart goes out to this woman whos light was stolen. I will live for her, in her memory, and for all the browbeaten wives that didn’t survive. 😭😭😭
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@HazelAppleyard_
Somehow they have the internet but googling side effects of taking cross sex hormones is too much. Not a cult tho.
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@Gelflingstorms
@HazelAppleyard_
You might be real surprised at how many people are thinking that and not saying a word.
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Debating it does not traumatize me, but it does offend me. Its a waste of GC time and effort. This is an old debate, actually. It’s not new because you just discovered it. We don’t need this distracting and dividing us, so don’t. But dont expect tws to sit silently if you do.
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If seeing the GC fight over this has you upset because of infighting then maybe you arent the GC warrior you thought you were. You should be upset about the lack of integrity amongst our leaders. Peace at any price is not a successful strategy. 3
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They literally describe it is as mourning a loss. They miss the person he used to be, so do I. They can’t even talk to him even tho hes still in their lives. It feels like he died, but maybe its worse. Theres no closure, no funeral, no ashes or tombstone to grieve at.
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@3ScotchEggs
Waiting until your sister is having a baby is no coincidence. It might be subconcious but its on purpose. Its called entitlement.
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