I do not relax, I merely simmer in anxiety in different locations

This really has become the most miserable website on the internet

Big day for dads with pocket knives

anti-woke mindset promoted by elon musk is pro-terrorism and anti-social

If you are in line for an emotional meltdown, STAY IN LINE. Your turn will come

everything is so expensive and i'm not even having a good time

Nazis are garbage, I hope this helps.

this isn’t true at all

Women only want 3 things: -To see that cool stick you found -To view your collection of awesome rocks -To look at pictures of weird bugs you came across

[After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory] ME: WIFE: ME: WIFE: ME: WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to— ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!

trans people should have access to gender-affirming care, point blank period

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag

George Washington: I cannot tell a lie. JD Vance: I cannot tell a lie?!

What your tweet failed to consider is me, a complete stranger with bad opinions

At the end, we talked about how no one ever wonders whether an onion is ripe enough.