After legitimately getting hit by a truck yesterday, I realize how much I've been over exaggerating pain levels over the years.

For the second time in a week, @tacobell has been out of Baja blast zero.

Dear @ChickfilA , please find a way to make your chicken dairy free. Sincerely, a Celiac that has to go dairy free now too & that means no more grilled chicken sammiches for lunch. #glutenfreeprobs

Late to the train- but thoroughly enjoying @officeladiespod & @jennafischer 's brief mentions of Kirksville & Truman state. Especially the fact that she adopted a stray cat that made its way to California with her and into People magazine.

Suggest a #beer to my husband! #GamingStuff

I'm so confused how I got two tickets to Taylor Swift, considering I'm one of the unluckiest people you'll ever meet.

If anyone is looking to try therapy, @cerebral is giving my friends 70% off their first month to try it out. It has been worth every penny for me so far & I highly recommend! #Therapy https://t.co/MTw4vkQ977

interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me:

The wonders corn boy has done for my mental health this week

Things I bought today I didn't need, but brought me joy: - Hocus Pocus themed door mat - a campfire candle - a tea towel of dogs wearing Halloween costumes - quirky pumpkin and witch statues This post is not sponsored by @tjmaxx , but it probably should be. #Fall #Halloween

i could really go for a harry potter movie marathon, a stormy night, and an xl pizza

“It’s too early for Halloween”. Just say you’re boring and go

If I ever start telling you information by saying “You know, I recently heard that (xyz).” I am referencing a Tiktok. That’s where I recently heard that. From a video a 22 year old girl made in her childhood bedroom. That is my source.

When you have to work a public event and then two days later you are playing the common cold or covid anxiety game....

For those that remember the iconic @ActuallyNPH movie… my sister is stupid talented & chalked the purple people eater for my niece https://t.co/Zgg8sgH5VO

My signature move is planning a bunch of dishes to make throughout the week, buying the food for the recipes, getting depressed and losing motivation throughout the week and ordering takeout instead.

Tonight, we break out the Grease and Xanadu vinyls.

I am this close to crying for absolutely no reason

Community games with the Mrs. ProPotato, come hang with us and play some Jackbox party games at https://t.co/ypi2VPclEX

Nothing says date night in the Midwest like driving 45 minutes to your favorite restaurant