Rick Glassman
@RickGlassman
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33,023
Following
740
Media
413
Statuses
2,413
#JewishHeartthrob 🎧 @ShoesOffPod
#✊🏻✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
Joined May 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I made a commercial for my dad’s local rug store. They didn’t ask me to do it. They aren’t going to use it.
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I was recording a fake tampon commercial by myself when a women walked between my camera and me…
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They won’t share this commercial because I’m wearing sweatpants. But my dad‘s partner said if it gets 74,000,000 likes he’ll air it. Please help get my commercial on Cleveland local television!
I made a commercial for my dad’s local rug store. They didn’t ask me to do it. They aren’t going to use it.
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Petitioning to get
@tomsegura
come on
@ShoesOffPod
.
He said he’d come on if this got 100 retweets. Seems doable.
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226
461
.
@billburr
came over and took his shoes off without me even asking. YouTube f***ed us by making the episode “18+ only.” So since views near stopped on YouTube, here are some good moments.
Also, YouTube, grow up.
FULL EP:
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Bobbi Althoff calls me out for only inviting her on
@shoesoffpod
after she had on a bunch of celebrity guests. I reminded
@thebobbialthoff
that I invited her on my podcast the day we recorded hers.
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ME: “Do you wanna see Oppenheimer on Sunday?”
MY GIRLFRIEND: “What’s Oppenheimer?”
ME: “Not much. What’s Oppenheimer with you?”
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I decided to take my talents to
@DegenApeAcademy
. Who else is team
#DAA
? Also interested in what
#Solana
#NFTs
you got. Show me a pic of your
#NFT
who you think can take mine (aviator) in a game of 1-on-1.
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Me, after being hilarious on a first date and she says “I don’t get it.”
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My grandma asked my mom and me to put her rent check in the mailbox. She also asked us to take a pic so she saw we did it right.
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Ordered
@Postmates
yesterday. Paid $2.99 for priority delivery. Took 2x as long as guaranteed. I contacted support to get my $2.99 back. They refused.
Ordered
@Postmates
today. They forgot a meal. I contacted support. They refused to give me my money back.
Goblin Mode Activated
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They don’t call me the GLASS MAN for nothin’.
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It’s getting harder and harder for me to eat around people that don’t know how to manage their chewing noises.
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Y’all can’t really comment on this if you didn’t watch the full episode.
Bobbi Althoff (The Really Good Podcast) on TYSO -
#216
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Some people (not me) are calling this “the best opening joke ever.” I don’t know. I try not to think about that kind of stuff.
#comedy
#standup
@TheLaughFactory
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I am currently being bullied by a stranger on a Facebook magic the gathering chat group.
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Y’all know
@LamorneMorris
can sing like this?
@ShoesOffPod
with
@harrymack
+ the dude from
#NewGirl
(ep 243) on YouTube now here:
#TakeYourShoesOffPodcast
#freestyle
#rap
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1:30am. I’m stoned and so full. I finally got up to clean and throw the donut box away, when I look in the pizza box and there are two pieces left. I think “don’t eat anything else go to bed.” Then I said out loud “I want it” and I devoured it.
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.
@SamRichardson
tweeted this video and said it was like a scene from VEEP. I was ready to watch how stupid POTUS sounded, but didn’t anticipate it LITERALLY feeling like a scene from VEEP. Add
@jonathanvswan
’s comedic British tone and it literally feels like a scene from VEEP!
.
@jonathanvswan
: “Oh, you’re doing death as a proportion of cases. I’m talking about death as a proportion of population. That’s where the U.S. is really bad. Much worse than South Korea, Germany, etc.”
@realdonaldtrump
: “You can’t do that.”
Swan: “Why can’t I do that?”
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Self talk is magic. Talk to yourself kindly. You may find a best friend.
My intention for posting this is to share how cool positive self talk can be. I’ve been practicing it for years and I think I’m getting good at believing it.
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What are some of your favorite
@solana
#NFT
projects? Looking for some places with strong communities. I’m thinking about getting a
@DegenApeAcademy
.
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Sir,
@POTUS
. Before you get too many twitter followers, I’d like to invite you to be a guest on my podcast, “Take Your Shoes Off.”
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Anyone else hate talking to people 70% of the time and need to talk to people 25% of the time?
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There are 2 kinds of Jews…
“I’m the, my back hurts, funny kind of Jew.”
@CheetoSantino
@whiskeyginger_
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#TakeYourShoesOffPodcast
ep 234 w/
@harrymack
&
@LamorneMorris
. This whole episode is WILD and SO GOOD. Who’s seen it?
New Girl meets 8 Mile full episode:
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New pet peeve unlocked: people who don’t understand analogies aren’t literal completely identical comparisons.
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Can anyone else hear the people in the apartment above me rn?
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@chrisdelia
My car go broken into and all they stole was a Take Your Shoes Off guest appearance. Send me one?
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Sometimes my self awareness bullies me. But I think I’m being too sensitive. At least that’s what he tells me.
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While walking and looking at my phone, a women walk by and said “good morning. Look up.”
I replied, “smile more.”
I don’t know if she got it but I am proud of my quick witted response.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but try unplugging it for 10 seconds. Then plug it back in. Then when it doesn’t work, yell “what the fu*k!”
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The idea of anonymity on the internet gives so many people such a confidence and arrogance to be their true hateful self.
It’s like when someone in a car flicks you off and drives away. You get to see someone’s true self when you see them without the concern of confrontation.
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Kanye West is running for President. In other news, poop fart booger is nipple penis tweet.
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Other people always asking for “a piece” of my food then act like I’m an asshole for saying “no.”
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Agreed. But it’s streaming free here:
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@tomsegura
@smemzen
@bertkreischer
@ooc2Bears1Cave
Coming on my podcast, “Take Your Shoes Off,” would be another slam dunk.
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Bruh. The drawstring of my sweatpants was in the toilet, and I pulled it out and it was wet. Figured maybe it just went in the toilet water which is gross because I’m on the toilet, but I smelt it and it smells like piss a little. I think I peed right onto it.
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They didn’t want it to outshine the original. No joke. That’s what they told me when I didn’t get the part.
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@RexChapman
My grandfather produced and arranged this for Ray, as well as conducted the orchestra.
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Wanna hear more about what tf
#autism
is? Check out episode
#187
of
@ShoesOffPod
with
@billburr
here:
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Rick & Esther Have a Time | episode 1
Full YouTube episode:
Full Spotify episode:
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I get food delivered so much, that when I go to the restaurant and pick it up, I feel like I’m cooking.
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@shannonsharpeee
Full episode of Bobbi Althoff (The Really Good Podcast) on TYSO -
#216
here 👇
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This looks the video they’d play during the credits after a robot-horror-thriller movie starring Will Smith.
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If you’re new to comedy, here is a little free advice… Don’t know what to say about the comic going on after you? Keep energy is bumpin’ and make up some credits.
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Hello,
@rustyrockets
. I’d like to invite you to take your shoes off and come on my podcast if you’re available/interested.
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Hey,
@Tampax
, we think your products are great, but I do smell something. Could it possibly be a proper podcast partnership?
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I always pack as if I’m going to poop my pants one a day.
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.
@AsWeSeeItPV
, exciting! I don’t always listen to reviews, but these are for our new show and this is cooooool.
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Stoned with a stomach ache and munchies so I’m too scared to eat
Like being high on Ambien with a concussion and too scared to sleep
Ever been with a Baddie with no condom so you’re too scared to skeet?
Or wanted a croissant with celiacs disease but you’re too scared of wheat?
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Just saw
@rickglassman
perform at
@TheComedyStore
and I shit you not, he was so hilarious and has an 8 inch weiner. I could tell.
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Why do people say “pardon my French” after they say “fu*k,” but they don’t say it after they pronounce 🥐 as“krwa•san”?
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When I performed one of the most dramatic multi-cam scenes ever for the Postmates Driver on
@shoesoffpod
episode
#100
#FreshPrince
#Postmates
#KristenBell
#WillSmith
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“Asking for a friend” is usually a lie as they are asking for themselves.
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