This is Station Planet Earth.... We’re closing down. ***Transmission Ends***

When your wife says she needs a new broom. It’s best if you don’t ask her if she broke the last one in a crash landing! Don’t ask me, how I know!

@MrPitbull07 Thanks for giving me my bible verse to look up today as a new Christian!

If one is to use the term “First Nations” or “Indigenous Peoples” or “Native Americans” in the Americas and Antipodes, then, in fairness, it should also apply to English, French, Spanish and other such peoples in Europe

@MrWhiteMAGA Hey @grok "How long can you survive without food?" -- She should be ok until April.

Well, that's different!

US Embassy in Pakistan. The Marines decided this wasn't going to be another Benghazi.

libs think you need to have a PhD in homosexual transgender lesbian communism to work in government (I only have a masters)

Got into a bit of a hairy situation yesterday. We stopped at a garage to top up our car, which is an Ecodrome 3000. Once you plug it in it charges in only 40 minutes, then you can drive up to 50 miles. My wife's boyfriend saw the people filling up their cars at the petrol

Our suggestion to the Islamic Regime leadership: Choose your next 5 Supreme Leaders today to save time.

Siblings dynamics are the best

My daughter kept saying she wanted "brownies" so I baked brownies and was still crying saying "no i want the white brownies" I had to call her mom and ask what she meant. The whole time she meant "hashbrowns" 😂😂

Two lovers decided to suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl closed her eyes and went back home. While falling, the boy opened his parachute and said, I knew that bitch wouldn't jump! From that day onwards, people started saying, Ladies first.

@RKelanic Man, your reader sounds like a real idiot

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer... She decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any

“Transgenders across the country breathe a sigh of relief as the latest mass shooter turned out to be just a good old fashioned Muslim terrorist”

Man these “John Wick” style action movie plots have really jumped the shark

The Cat in the Hat on aging… I cannot see, I cannot pee, I cannot chew, I cannot screw. Oh my God, what can I do? My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks, no sense of smell, I look like hell. My body is drooping, I have trouble pooping. The golden years have come

GULLIVER WAKES UP Watching the UN emergency meeting yesterday—as well as various world leaders like Starmer stepping up to their podiums and microphones—reminded me of Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels. America has been cosplaying as the world’s polite giant for

the next Ayatollah should be a trans gay black woman imagine how beautiful that would be imagine how angry it would make tRump 😂😂😂

🚨 BREAKING: Iran says fuck it and starts shooting missiles at itself too