NoJoke
@NoJokeChris
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Anti-joke activist, Working towards a more earnest world. Also Lichess. Opinions expressed are my own. He/Him
Joined February 2013
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#रामचरितमानसअनुसारमोक्षकैसेहो
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jeno
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Watch Factful Debates YouTube
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Michigan
• 95513 Tweets
Riquelme
• 84972 Tweets
Janet
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Oklahoma
• 53566 Tweets
Colorado
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#仮面ライダーガヴ
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Tennessee
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秋分の日
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秒速5センチメートル
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Iowa
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ADLK NEVER ENDING
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Auburn
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#อ๋อมอรรคพันธ์
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ショウマ
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Dhyan Mahima
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ダブルドライバー
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Bristol
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設営完了
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Baylor
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Shedeur
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Hawkins
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サンシーター
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土砂降り
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Pinned Tweet
I'm sick and tired of these chess streamers that barely know how to play the game, and try to get viewers by showing a little skin!
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're allowed to not try to improve as a chess player. You can just play the game because its fun.
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This anti-Lichess facebook page is possibly my favorite thing on the internet.
I wish we were HALF as cool as this person thinks we are.
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I was always skeptical about these heart monitors that streamers use, but you can really see the difference here.
@IM_Rosen
's heart was aflutter yesterday after beating Naka.😃
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My advice to new players is simple. Do tactics. Do Tactics until its hurts. Do tactics until you hate chess. If you have even a hint of love for the game of chess you haven't done enough. Your heart should burn with resentment for the awful board game played by pretentious nerds.
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I'm sympathetic to people speaking extemporaneously and saying something dumb, but the fact that BOTH the questioner and whoever runs the FIDE account didn't realize how disprespectful that question is it says a lot.
How does it feel to be sharing the stage with Magnus Carlsen?
Anastasia Bodnaruk: "It is a big honour for me. Maybe the greatest moment of my life!"
#RapidBlitz
📷 Anastasia Korolkova
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I'm starting to realize how Magnus' ability to not lose chess games was really robbing the World Championship matches of a lot of entertainment value. Nepo and Ding don't have this problem.
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If somebody could just find a way to explain to Super GMs that 2600s are good at chess and might beat you sometimes it would resolve about 85% of this cheat paranoia. [1/3]🧵
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This article took months of investigation to put together, and I've never been prouder of something I worked on.
It's scary to confront abusers and the powerful people that protect them, but its far scarier to know that you might have stopped them and didn't try.
Ramirez is not the only one. According to interviews and documents reviewed by Lichess, another prominent American GM has also been accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women, raising troubling questions about how chess orgs deal with such matters.
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This is an Armageddon game at the world cup. Is this a reasonable way to decide a chess match in an event that is part of the world championship cycle? Watch to the end...
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I'm rooting for Alireza today more than I've ever rooted for anyone in any chess game ever, including my own. I can't begin to explain what a victory would mean for the degenerate 4am bullet chess community, it would be their stonewall.
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GM Tigran Petrosian responds to Wesley So's cheating allegations 🍿 PIPI IN YOUR PAMPERS!!!!
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If I were Magnus I'd have some fun with the FIDE negotiations, you've got them over a barrel, take advantage. Ask for a dish of only brown M&Ms by the board, make both players wear a funny hat for the whole match. Just get totally silly with it, you only live once.
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Honestly? Good for him. He doesn't owe it to us or anybody else to maximize his abilities at a board game.
Chase your passion king👑 to hell with these nerds if they don't understand
"It's kind of a serious thing"
It seems that the rumors of Alireza wanting to be a professional fashion designer were true, he plans to split his time between that and chess.
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It's disappointing to see chess folk like
@chesscom
and
@GothamChess
taking money from a crooked sponsor that preyed on vulnerable people.
BetterHelp was caught selling therapy patients private info to advertisers. They are scum. Go anywhere else if you need therapy.
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I love chess960. Removing the opening makes chess so much better. If we could also remove the middlegame and the endgame it would be perfect.
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They should let Nepo (and whoever in this situation) skip the press conference. It's just cruel. He's going to go sit there with a thousand yard stare and have some journo ask him "how do you feel?" Jesus man, how do you think he feels? Let him go back to his hotel room already.
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USCF Ramirez statement TLDR:
1. We didn't know! until we were told years ago
2. We don't "employ" him, we just pay him for work
3. He was only the coach at the Womens Olympiad, nothing "meaningful"
4. We removed the rapists access to kids, adult women are on their own
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I quit chess after 5 years of semi-serious scholastic plays. 10 years later I played my first blitz game. I was taught that blitz is "bad for you." Blitz brought me back to the game. Stop telling people, especially kids, not to play blitz. It's fun. Fun is good.
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GM Martinez says he's not enjoying a good tournament performance.
This is the sad reality of the cheat paranoia culture. Anytime a player outside the "elite" has a nice tourney they can expect to pay a heavy price for it in public accusations against their character.
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Removing ratings is one of the Lichess features I'm most proud of, and I recommend everyone try it.
Games are still rated and you still play people close to your rating. You just won't see any numbers.
If you are playing to maximize fun then I don't know why you wouldn't use it
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I had something similar with a girl I wanted to date. She ignored my repeated texts, calls and emails offering a date despite me GRACIOUSLY apologizing for saying her clothes looked stupid.
She later hypocritically went on dates with men FAR less attractive than me, ridiculous!
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Is this Chess now?
Hype manufactured from cheating accusations, lawsuits, and bickering interviews followed by totally disposable and quickly forgotten games?
At least professional wrestlers are good performers and the fans know its all scripted, this is embarrassing🤦♂️
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GM Martinez STILL getting Kramnik accusations, even playing in front of a whole camera crew somehow doesn't clear him.
This sort of thing will eat the whole sport if we let it.
Puedo por favor jugar solamente al ajedrez tranquilo en este 2024? Puedo tener malos resultados y aveces buenos? Puedo ganar partidas perdidas y perder partidas ganadas? Puedo simplemente jugar ajedrez y ya por favor...? No soy top 10 me equivocare mucho aun asi estare luchando.
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I think we can stop with "Magnus has to say something..."
He's said it twice now, if you haven't heard it yet a third time won't help 😀
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Chessbase has changed their website to remove the claim that "Fat Fritz 2.0" is the "new
#1
" chess engine.
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I take some pleasure in watching all the new chess players from the last few years discover how reactionary and backwards chess culture is.
Drink it up noobs! go see the supportive GMs and FIDE people in the comments too! You chose the WRONG board game pal! Welcome to hell!👿🤘
Thankfully the trip to Bucharest went smoothly, and now waiting for the one and only
@jordanbpeterson
We are so excited for being able to see him live in a few minutes!
@GCSalaPalatului
As Barney would say, It's gonna be legen— wait for it — dary
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I am begging you to understand that it is fully legal to ignore emails from people you don't want to talk to.
Still no response from STLCC. I wonder what damaging a hotel room in private has to do with playing chess. Despite the relentless attacks from the chess world, I have continued to perform at the highest level and I will only improve. I have no interest in further conflict with
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Can somebody explain why we have a Candidates rest day on the weekend? The days when the global ability to watch is at its maximum?
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As you're watching the Hans interview, and the Rensch response, and the influencer reactions, mark my words...
We will regret making cheating the centerpiece of promoting our sport. We're hammering it into everyone's mind that every game and every player is suspect forever
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The new Lichess broadcast page looks nice.
It seems we can put a little color into this website without it breaking after all😁
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Some kind of twitter bug here... Why is Lichess trending twice? 🤔
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Companion to the last tweet:
I also decided to graph the age of the top 1 FIDE classical player for the last 10 years.
Here there is a clear upward trend. I predict the champion will be more than a hundred years old by 2100.
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Read the WSJ article on Alejandro Ramirez.
The STL chess club and USCF knew about Ramirez for years and were still hiring him to work with junior high school girls.
If you have any connection to those orgs now is the time to show your character, or to show its absence.
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Who are the people who didn't know about "Pipi in pampers?" What is their connection to chess?
I'm not gatekeeping here, I promise. I'm just concerned that chess culture isn't being passed down to the next generation and somebody needs to do something about it.
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The simpleEval bot on Lichess is absolutely evil. It's a tactical god but has no understanding of positional chess. When you play it you'll get an overwhelming position, struggle to finish it off, miss something in time trouble and lose.
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Everybody criticizing FIDE needs to remember they only had a couple weeks to organize things. There's no way to implement a "no handshakes" rule in so little time. That sort of thing takes months to setup.
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The funniest part of this Vice article about Maxim Dlugy admitting to cheating via emails is Danny Rensch promising to keep the emails secret😁
lol, get rekt Maxim! You trusted Danny?🤣 During interrogation the cops always say they're on your side and you should just confess.
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The Mishra post insulting Nepo, and this one apologizing for it were 100% from Mishra's dad and not him.
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If you're reading this Danny.... come be an American! Rex will pay for everything! We'll never call you a traitor! Over here, that sort of dumb nationalism is TOTALLY unheard of. All we do is shoot guns, eat fried food and not feel bad for the homeless. This could be you!
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and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.
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We're doing the "fast chess is more marketable" discourse again?😩
There have been rapid/blitz events for decades, go market them, make big money deals, I'll be happy for you!
What's the ask here? Can we still play a bit of classical or does it need to be eliminated entirely?
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Ice-cold and objectively correct take: Checkmate shouldn't win a chess game, we should just take the king. Checkmate is an extra layer of complexity that adds nothing to the game. It makes it harder to teach the game to people with no benefit for anyone.
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US fed president Randy Bauer has lost it.
He's hinting at doxing abuse victims and pretending he never got reports that he 100% provably did
Why would a victim report anything to these people? So that Bauer can post it on facebook or deny he got the report at all?
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I've seen a GM play 3+0 games with 1-2 sentences of feedback after each game as paid "coaching."
Meanwhile there are 1900s that review every game a student plays and prepare personalized lesson plans.
Who do you think a 1000 should hire? and the 1900 will cost half as much!
More chess players should consider coaching. If you're a 1600 player with good communication skills and a passion for chess and helping others, there's a good chance you could be a more effective coach for an 800 player than a GM.
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Imagine what Hans must have done given what they are willing to let GMs get away with.
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Rating is just a number! A meaningless number that very precisely describes how good you are at chess using a scientifically rigorous system created by the best mathematical minds on the planet. A number that will either open or close doors for you in the chess world forever.
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Lots of chess players think that being a jerk is the price you pay for being a genius🙄 This is just the delusion of people who struggle to make friends and have decided it doesn't matter.
Plenty of insanely good chess players are also perfectly nice people, you could do it too.
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Lots of people knew, or suspected, and he's far from the only one.
I hope Jen's bravery will inspire the same in others.
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Everybody knows about the chess portion of Lichess, but our programs for destroying Christmas and beating up policemen deserve to be more well known.
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He's right, although I know people will interpret this as a cheating accusation despite him saying directly that it isn't.
Some organizers are insanely casual about this. It's SO easy to implement delay. its SO easy to tell people not to have cell phones, why not do it?
1/2 I was completely crushed in my game today. This is not to accuse my opponent of anything, who played an amazing game and deserved to win, but honestly, as soon as I saw my opponent was wearing a watch early in the game, I lost my ability to concentrate.
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This US Chess fed board member is not so subtly threatening to sue me. I also received a similar threatening email from US Chess president Randy Bauer.
Even worse, they threaten to sue my employer Lichess, which has no connection to what I say on my personal twitter account.
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The official hash tag for the Women's World Championships is "Women's Chess Match"
The first game of the Women's World Championship Match saw a first surprise as Lei opened with 1.e4 instead of her usual 1.d4.
#WomenChessMatch
An express analysis of the game is up on the website of the match:
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I find this argument so amusing. So many chess players are utterly disconnected from the basics of human social interaction.
You see, after Kramnik accused Naka he SAID he WASN'T accusing, so that means it retroactively didn't happen. Poof! gone in a puff of smoke!
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I am begging tourney organizers to stop listing the opening ceremony as the start date, this is anti-marketing.
You can still have your open-bar party, you can have the photo op with the local dictator, just for the love of god list the day they start as the start date!😩😩😩
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The Saint Louis Chess Club Twitch streams for the just finished 960 event took between a 50% to 90% drop in viewers compared to the same event last year.
The boycott is showing results.
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Very smart person Elon Musk predicts that one day computers will be better at chess than humans, also that chess is "simple" and he won't waste time learning "bishop and knight combinations."
He is truly the smartest of men.
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It's interesting when the national media discovers some story from your little niche and you see that how its presented is bullshit.
It makes you wonder how much is true in the stories where you don't happen to know everybody involved.
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TLDR: A 400-rated Billionaire plays a perfect game to beat Anand in an exhibition. Billionaires aren't smart, they're idiots who commit all sorts of dumb, obvious crimes and get away with it anyway because the rules don't apply to them.
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ChessCom is cutting ties with infamous twitch patron/svengali ChessBae:
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Its always really funny to me when people accuse Lichess of "mixing chess and politics," as if anybody ever agreed to not do that.
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Great day for Wesley So among others chess reactionaries.
This week we’re making Likes private for everyone to better protect your privacy.
– You will still be able to see posts you have liked (but others cannot).
– Like count and other metrics for your own posts will still show up under notifications.
– You will no longer see who
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This is the guy that FIDE hired for a Women's event
"You're saying chess is not for women?"
"I didn't say it openly, in private..."
"She plays like a man" (referring to playing well)
He also questions why Women's tournaments exist all.🧵
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Why would anyone possibly care about a google sponsorship when people like Nigel Short and Timur Gareyev (coach of the Ugandan team) are welcome at FIDE events?
They even draw attention to it! Totally shameless.
Nigel Short, English chess grandmaster, FIDE Director for Chess Development, and Tshepiso Lopang, the President of the African Chess Confederation, made the ceremonial first move today at the beginning of round 4 of the 45th FIDE
#ChessOlympiad
in the game between Harika
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This is the guy FIDE is sending around to third world countries to "develop chess."
He also once commented on the best countries for sex tourism in an NIC article.
The legendary Tony Miles passed away 21 years ago.
In his obituary, Nigel Short showed his class by writing, "I obtained a measure of vengeance, not only by eclipsing Tony in terms of chess performance but also by sleeping with his girlfriend, which was definitely satisfying"
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The FIDE edit removes the portion where the interviewer rudely cuts Sasha off and tries to change the subject. Sasha then correctly declines to be bullied out of speaking and finishes what he was saying.
"In my view what we [Russia] are doing is very wrong ... It is extremely painful for me and I really hope it would stop."
Grandmaster Alexander Grischuk made a statement at the
#FIDEGrandPrix
press conference in Belgrade:
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I always thought it was interesting how the older generations see flagging as a totally illegitimate moral failing instead of the normal and unavoidable result of playing without increment.
A frustrated Vladimir Kramnik swears to never again play in the
@chesscom
Rapid Chess Championshps, calling it "moral degradation."
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At my school chess clubs I don't teach my kids to play to the bitter end of losing positions hoping for stalemate.
If I see a kid is dejected and has given up I'll tell them they're allowed to resign and try again.[1/6]
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Magnus currently streaming on with an overlay to make it look like c24 🤣
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idk why many chess players embrace the hustle/grind culture, its totally incompatible with being very serious about a board game
You're a bohemian! Embrace it and stop trying to be rich. Go live under a bridge or work at the post office. Wtf are you doing with a LinkedIn page?
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A player who Elo expects to score 30% against me in online OTB has defeated me one (1) time in a radically different format of chess.
This once in a generation event is clear evidence of foul play 🙄 [2/3]
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Lots of talk about "fair" here, but "fair" is a human concept that has no meaning in the business world. This fight happens in various sports and is usually won by the players if they have a union because, fundamentally, the players are 100x more important than the organizers.
Chess organizers (WorldChess in this case) discovering new revenue streams is great, but trying to fish for a cut from player's own sponsors is not helping.
It is challenging enough for a player to find a sponsor, let the players wear the logo at the events they compete in.
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Protip: If you get a chess puzzle "wrong" you don't have to just accept it. How do they know its wrong? Who made them king of puzzles. I stand by my answer.
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Magnus killing it on twitch while not bothering to:
1. Learn how to use broadcasting software.
2. Have mods
3. Even choosing a profile picture
... is a slap in the face to all the twitch tryhards and their make-it-big schemes and I love it.
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Its hard to know which part of the American Chess Magazine article by Pete Tamburro that just came out to criticize with limited characters.
The horrendous victim blaming? The insane slant? The numerous errors? Read the replies for a thread 🧵 [1/5]
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Hey
@GothamChess
, you should make a video about the Alejandro Ramirez situation. I know that you've always been a big supporter of women in chess and it would be a great way to raise awareness.
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This poll...😱
I can't speak for chessCom, but Lichess cheat detection touches 100% of games. Some games will only be seen by automated systems.
A 1% false positive rate on bans would mean tens of thousands of innocent people banned DAILY. It's not even close to good enough.
The core debate between Allebest and Levitov was the level of certainty required before banning a suspected cheater. If it's too high they will cheat for longer, if it's too low you will ban too many innocent players.
Personally, you would ban when sure at
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It seems you all like hidden gems from the Lichess opening database! Lets keep the party going! Trigger warning for all the very serious chess wet-blankets that only believe in "correct" play. It's just science, don't be mad at me, be mad at science.[1/6]
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Magnus "paying €300" to heckle Hans is a cultural misunderstanding
There was no AGREEMENT to pay him. Tipping hecklers is customary in Norway
It seems strange but they pay hecklers less than minimum wage, expecting that they'll make up for it w/tips, kinda messed up imo
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🤣Look at this guy chessplaining chess to the International Chess Federation.
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The USCF Ramirez investigation was "released," or well... it theoretically exists? somewhere?
- investigation was by an unnamed "third party"
- it will not be released publicly
- Not a single specific detail from the report is mentioned except that the USCF did nothing wrong
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Has anybody checked with Igor Rausis to see if he knew he wasn't allowed to cheat? We might owe him an apology!
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The Russians are fighting! 🍿 Karjakin is surely referring to Danil "traitor to the motherland" Dubov who worked for Carlsen and probably doesn't even like Vodka or Borscht. Danil taught Magnus the secret Russian chess weakness that only Russians know about and that's how he won.
Of course I congratulate a World Champion, but just a small remark.
Imagine you have to play a World Championship match against Carlsen. Will you accept help from let's say...Hammer or Tari?
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The chess world doesn't talk enough about the time Viktor Kortchnoi lost to a giant cow.
After the game he told the cow he "didn't understand chess," and "it is the first you beat me, and the very last" while storming off.
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This could have been over long ago if the US Chess fed had simply apologized for their shameful conduct and promised to do better.
Instead they've spent 1.5 years lying, defaming, and threatening so here we are.
I am fighting back against campaigns to silence me and retaliate against me for speaking up about sexual violence in chess.
I have fought many battles on the chess board and the poker table. This is the most important one.
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The fact that saying "chess can be fun" makes chess players angry as hornets is the most chess thing ever.
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It is 100% true that the US should have got the same treatment that Russia is getting now for the Iraq/Afghanistan invasions. It is also 100% true that the difference is because westerners care less about brown victims and the US is stronger and gets away with more.[1/2]
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The news that lots of chess people are going to lose their jobs and lots of chess websites are going to cease to exist seems bad to me.
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The "lack of role models" canard is popular because it puts the blame on women themselves. Chess men will find any excuse for sexism that doesn't involve them and their behavior.
It's also just not true. A woman was
#6
in the world! That isn't a "role model?"
👩🦰The lack of female players as role models for girls is often considered one of the reasons of a gender gap in chess.
🤩16 y.o. Eline Roebers got many new fans after her victory over the reigning Dutch champion Erwin l'Ami at the Tata Steel Chess Challengers.
📸Lennart Ootes
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If classical chess was dead you wouldn't have to work so hard to convince people that classical chess is dead.
I love that all of my “Classical Chess isn’t dead” friends conveniently leave out that three of the last four classical chess world championships were actually decided in one day…
IN RAPID CHESS TIE-BREAKS
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