Niecy O'Keeffe
@NiecyOKeeffe
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Freelance journalist. Shortlisted for Seán Ó Faoláin Prize, Longlisted for The Fish Publishing Award. Ether Books Writer of the Year. Bit sweary. 🐝🧏♀️
Ireland.
Joined December 2008
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I’m home for the weekend and I hear my Mum shouting up the stairs at me, roaring ‘Come here, quick!’ My heart drops, thinking my Dad (who has been poorly) has keeled over or something. I belt down, expecting the worst. Reason? She found a potato that looks like a smug hedgehog.
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I never knew Jacinda Ardern returned to the small rural town she grew up in, to get together with her estranged family when a young girl from the area mysteriously went missing and she had to wrangle awkward reunions and confront her past, while simultaneously solving the crime.
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I'll never tire of this video. The eyes. THE EYES.
@NiecyOKeeffe
I don’t think our neighbours 😉 will be claiming this guy when he wins the Oscar next year ⬇️
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And I says to Pennywise, I says “Jesus but that’s awful carry on in front o’yon weans.” But shur, he took no notice o’me and turned into a giant snake - no wait, he was a wee ferret, I think it was. But with teeth, y’know? Like razors they were and shur the weans were in bits and
‘It’ prequel series ‘Welcome to Derry’ has been ordered at HBO Max.
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Two Irish Anns gave birth on 31st January 1984. My mother was one, in a warm hospital with pain relief. I was the baby. Ann Lovett, around the same time, gave birth alone in a graveyard where herself and her baby would die. Every year in our house, we remember Ann. RIP. x
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My Dad, every time he drives past the petrol station.
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I don’t know but at a guess, I’d say he’d have told you to shut the fuck up, for starters.
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We have a phrase for people like Liz Truss in West Waterford “There’s a bit of a want, there.”
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As an Irish person, I consider this an act of war.
charli xcx lipsyncing to c’est la vie by b*witched surrounded by UNION JACKS is the eighth deadly sin
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On this day in 1984, my Mam gave birth to me in a clean hospital with pain relief. At around the v.same time, Ann Lovett gave birth in a graveyard where she would die a lonely, agonizing death along with her baby. My Mam’s name is Ann, too. We remember Ann Lovett every year. RIP.
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The longer this goes on, the more the question has to be asked: Are we safe with Judge Martin Nolan in his seat? Because I don’t feel safe with him handing out suspended sentence after suspended sentence to violent offenders. This has to stop.
Josh Conlon (19) has been given a fully-suspended sentence for his role in a two-hour attack, during which a woman was tied up, beaten with a broom handle and had boiling water poured over her.
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Dear Irish Media, I don’t care how many kids Mark Hennessy had. I don’t care how quiet he was. I don’t care if he was good at hurling or did the weekly shop or was on the committee. I care about how many times he may have done this, how and to whom. I care about Jastine Valdez.
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I wouldn’t be a fan of Simon Coveney, AT ALL but I do enjoy it when he goes on English media with his homework done, speaks like a grown up with a bag full of receipts and the interviewer isn’t used to it and the Tories aren’t used to it and everyone’s upset. It nourishes me!
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The whole Spanish football kiss thing is proof that it can happen in front of everyone’s fucking faces and a man will still try to gaslight and a woman still won’t be believed.
Fuck all the way off.
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“Having already crashed the economy, I once tried to start a World War with a country that has 410 nuclear warheads, for attention.”
Former UK PM Liz Truss urges Rishi Sunak to class China as 'threat' to UK security
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I’ll take 752 of them, thanks.
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And here’s your king having the craic with the same lad.
The IRA attempted to assassinate Margaret Thatcher in 1984. Here is Joe Biden taking a selfie with the leader of the IRA's political wing in the 1980s.
What message does this send to the British people?
Joe Biden is a disgrace to the United States and the office of the…
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That Bank of Ireland ad, where yer man moves his Mammy into his house, is some manipulative shit. She had her own lovely big house. Elderly people are allowed to own houses and live in them. I see you, banks.
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Judge Nolan described the victim as “unlucky” and told the man he shouldn’t drink because it “gets you in trouble.”
Did you ever read such disgusting apologist guff from a sitting judge?! I can’t imagine how she feels. How her loved ones feel.
Unlucky?! Jesus Christ.
Man who sexually assaulted 16-year-old girl on Ryanair flight handed suspended sentence
Judge Martin Nolan said Elkudir did not deserve to go to prison and handed him a fully-suspended sentence of 18 months.
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She’s so full of shit you could harvest her for silage.
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I don’t want to see his face anymore. Let him rot behind bars now, and be forgotten like the nothing he is. Instead, let’s remember this beautiful girl who had her whole life stolen from her and think of her loving family. May Ashling Murphy and her family find peace. xx
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Irish mammies actually invented gaslighting.
Me: I’m cold.
Irish Mammy: No you’re not.
Me: Ok.
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The Irish lad in him was furiously scrambling to leave his body, like a cat stuck in an upturned basket.
Think it's fair to say Dermot O'Leary's heart wasn't quite in This Morning's Valentine's Day sex toy special segment
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Why does it take so long to bury ppl in England? Generally speaking in Ireland, John Joe’s dead on Monday, and they’ve him planted by Wednesday. They don’t half drag it out in the UK. I find it strange.
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If Scotland left the union I’d honestly move there. Would ye have me lads? Glasgow, probably.
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Even in death, they fear her. Stay afraid, Has Beens. Your day is done. You have no power anymore. She saw you 30 years ago and the rest of the world is finally catching up. Rest in Power Sinéad O’Connor.
Sinead O’Connor was a troubled soul who was badly educated. She was no more a “truth-teller” than are her fans who have written on this subject.
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Young lad in a shop there, about 12, throwing a bit of a wobbler about something and I heard his mammy say, in the most terrifying Irish mammy voice ever, you know the low, clipped one “You’d really want to be thinking about copping on now” and the immediate silence was unreal.
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This isn’t just one of my favourite walkways in Dublin, but in Ireland. It’s so iconic. Why are the people on the Bord of An Pleanála so destructive? It belongs to the people of Dublin. Please fight to save it. It’s been there since 1821. Save our history.
#SaveMerchantsArch
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When you suddenly realise you’ve left your mask in the fucking car.
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His name is Kieran McCarthy and I think he should be Lord Mayor of Cork for life, just for this. 😂🙌
#Legend
Ross Lahive confronted the Mayor in Cork, and the Mayor's response was f*cking ICONIC!! 🤣
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Nah, sorry. This isn’t happening, I’m afraid. Sorry, Developers. You’ll have to literally drive your bulldozers over me. This is too important. Off limits. Soz, babes. Not today, Satans. I’ll make Greta Thunberg look like Hans fricken Moleman. Test me not.
#StephensGreen
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Why should you? Because you’re a smol boy and you’re in school. I didn’t want to sit through double maths every Monday morning but welcome to being in school. Now learn your cupla focal and stfu before I yeet a chalkboard duster at your forehead, ya little bollix.
“Why should I be forced to sit in an Irish class I don’t enjoy?”
The
#RTEUpfront
audience have their say on whether Irish should be compulsory in schools.
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Like, being racist is so unirish. Being sound is Irish. If you really want to be patriotic, be sound. That’s my motto.
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Saddest thing I’ve read in a long time.
Boy, 9, who lived alone for two years went unnoticed because he was ‘a good pupil’
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A lot of heavy hearts on Irish twitter tonight. Her voice was so unique, so Celtic and powerful. It was woven into the fabric of Ireland. She sounded like home. Rest well, Sinéad. I hope you’re at peace. x
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May I live to witness the downfall of Piers Morgan.
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I think the Rose of Tralee these days is the least misogynistic thing on telly. They’re all massively intelligent, with huge jobs, well able to look after themselves. And they like singing and dancing and making their Dad cry with pride. Shur what of it.
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It’s shithead behaviour and it’s deliberate. Cop on, lads. Do ye feel so weak in your everyday lives that ye need to do this to feel a second’s worth of control? Sad acts.
Please don't do this
Even if there's nothing behind your decision to sit next to me on an otherwise empty bus, it immediately puts me on edge
I can't be alone in this, surely
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How the hell would you ever cope. This poor lady. My heart goes out to her and everyone who lost a loved one in that horrible event.
Brigid McDermott - who lost three children in the Stardust fire - arrives at the inquest to hear the verdicts.
Brigid lost her sons William and George, and her daughter Marcella in the tragedy.
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Remembering Ann Lovett, only 15 years old, who died alone in a graveyard in Granard with her baby on 31st January, 1984. My mother, also Ann, lights a candle for her every year on my birthday. Two Anns. Two births. Two Irelands. Never again. RIP Ann and her baby. xx
Two Irish Anns gave birth on 31st January 1984. My mother was one, in a warm hospital with pain relief. I was the baby. Ann Lovett, around the same time, gave birth alone in a graveyard where herself and her baby would die. Every year in our house, we remember Ann. RIP. x
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And I guarantee you when little Jimmy is in the dock for setting upon a Garda with 15 of his mates, he’ll be crying and sniveling and his brief will be pleading “He’s a good boy really, your honour. He plays football for the local team and has hopes to play professionally.”
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Had a fiver left on one
@one4allireland
voucher gifted to me at Christmas and €10 left on another, the cards are nowhere near their expiry dates but One4all have taken the money left. It’s a small amount but it’s still so wrong. Don’t get them. They’re a rob.
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“Funny how it goes. I won the lottery of life, born into a respected acting dynasty. I married one of the most talented/beautiful women in the country, had a nice family. Career was good. But the chronic shithead within took the wheel and I bulldozed my own life, for no reason.”
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This is the most bizarre protest. Could you not just get married next year? Or would the Instagram pics not be as good unless you’ve got 500 ppl there, you barely know? The bang of Me, Me, Me off it.
“Love is not cancelled.”
That’s right, love. That’s absolutely correct.
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My Mam had measles while I was growing in the womb and the infection interfered with the growth of my ear canals and development of my eyesight. I’m mostly deaf, w/dire depth perception. Some ppl w/measles, go deaf. Believe me, you don’t want this shit. Just wise up tae fuck.
World Health Organisation issues fresh warning over measles
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Mammy Keeffe is home after her heart attack! After I told her about the out pouring on twitter she asked me “is there any way I can say ‘Thank you’?” So I sorted it. Thank you twitter, for being the best when the chips were down. Here’s Mammy Keeffe with her message.
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Re: the alleged murderer. Don’t tweet his name, don’t tweet anything. Trials have collapsed because of tweets. Let the court process do its thing. For her.
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Dear media,
Stop following Enoch Burke to school and he'll stop turning up.
Regards,
Tired Human.
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Never fuck with a man named Mick Lynch. We know this in Ireland. The Mick Lynchs this world are born without fucks to give. They have no fuck glands. Do not approach a Mick Lynch without caution. Keep your head low and let the Mick Lynch know you mean no harm.
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There is no justice system for women and girls in Ireland. You can literally kick us under a train and walk away.
A Dublin teenager has been spared a custodial sentence for a "daunting" incident that led to a teenage girl being knocked head first under a Dart train.
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The BBC won’t know what’s hit them if Enoch Burke turns up to the MOTD studio tomorrow night and just never leaves.
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Fuck off with your “Irish born” ye devious wee fuckers. He’s Irish. Accept it.
Cillian Murphy becomes first ever Irish-born winner of best actor Oscar
Follow the 96th Academy Awards live ⬇️
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Don’t buy anything at all in a petrol station but your petrol. No deli food, no snacks, no drinks, nothing. That’ll soften their cough for them.
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If they don’t want ppl drinking in the streets, then cancel takeaway pints and close the pubs completely. But don’t on the one hand, tell ppl to Enjoy An Outdoor Summer and then punish them with cops in riot gear when they do. You’re only asking for trouble with mixed messages.
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We need to talk about Pet Bereavement and how it should be taken more seriously.
This was my Jess’ last happy day before the cancer took hold. I’d bought her a new coat for the coming winter (which she wouldn’t see) and she was proud out. Her death shattered me. (1/2)
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Noel's like someone who ran for class prefect for a laugh, then somehow, won the vote and now suddenly has to be the class prefect
#GBBO
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When you tell your Nan you’re going to 6 O’Clock mass and she knows full well you’re actually going to the pub.
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Irish twitter: serious business here.
My sister is getting trees knocked down near her house, one of which is a Hawthorne.
She’s been told that cutting down a Hawthorne could potentially upset the fairies and lead to your life being utterly fucked to pieces.
True?
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No, you’re not going to your Prom, you’re going to your Debs. And stop asking ppl to sign your “yearbook.” It’s your homework journal. You’re from Laois, Aoife.
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I’m worried for this country’s future with racists emboldened to the point of this happening so often. We have to stand up to racism. All of us.
Brazilian student assaulted in Limerick after being asked 'where are you from?'
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Meanwhile, the fella beside him looks like he’s about to kick his mascot up the hole.
Willy Kambwala gave his jacket to a mascot as it started raining ahead of kickoff vs. Liverpool ❤️
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Get Jackie Weaver’s name OUT of your fucking mouth!
Jackie Weaver did not "have the authority" after all, reports say
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This is disgusting behaviour. I don’t like him but fair play to him for not rising to it and staying calm. Christ but we’ve reached a grim place. It’s worrying.
🚨 Former Irish Taoiseach Leo Varadkar experiences homophobic abuse and violent threats from angry passersby today.
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How anybody that has any shred of human decency could set dogs to tear apart these beautiful creatures, is and always will be beyond me, until the day I take my last breath on this Earth.
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Taylor Swift songs all seem to be a variation on the theme "You were some ride but you turned out to be a bollix."
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Presumably, the incessant hounding of Meghan Markle by Piers Morgan and the Murdoch press will stop, now that they can see the potential damage it can have on someone’s mental health? I mean, I’m sure it will. *waits*
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I see this kind of shit on FB all the time and it boils my blood. It’s not sweet, it’s dangerous. And it’s unfair on both the baby and the dog. The dog could turn for any reason, poked in the eye, whatever and then you’ve a tragedy. And for what? Clout? Selfish clout chasers.
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“He said Noonan had a good work history.”
Who gives an absolute fuck?! Why is shit like this always brought in to it? Nobody cares about his work history. He’s a disgusting rapist. He’s not applying for a job, he’s at a rape trial. Stop this disrespectful bullshit.
Man jailed for raping young woman at party as she drifted in and out of consciousness
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People we all need:
Doctors
Nurses
Train drivers
Retail staff
People we don’t need:
Richard Madeley
Lorraine Kelly
Alan Sugar
Isobel Oakeshott
All the other vacuous blow hards
We should value the ppl we need WITH MONEY and forget the ones we don’t need.
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“And there I am now, and I’m the King and it’s fucking raining. And the horses are shitting everywhere. And it’s my special day and I’m fucking sick of it already. Every fucking time there’s something on, I have to go through this shit and I’m fucking shit sick of it.”
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Friend’s coworker got to noon today, announced “fuck this, I’m going home” packed up all his shit, left and they don’t know if he’ll ever be back. Some Mondays hit differently.
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Here, Irish twitter, isn’t this a Topper? *nods* It’s a Topper.
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Blindboy wears a bag cos he doesn’t want to be famous. He wants to write and perform and enjoy his achievements and then go to the shops in peace. There’s nothing wrong with that. Fame isn’t something you have to just accept if you don’t want it. Leave him be. He’s sound.
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They should show the last 5 minutes of that episode of
#DerryGirls
in parliament, so the deluded fools might get even the faintest whiff of why it’s so important to the people of the north that hard-won peace is protected, Brexit be damned.
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Well, you wanted a bullfight. Enjoy, idiots.
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Are Eir the worst company in the world to deal with? Yes.
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Hi. I’m a selfish arsehole. I’m going up Carauntoohill mountain during a Sever Warning and I expect to rescued at Arse O’Clock in the morning when it, inevitably goes wrong. I also won’t face any real consequences for my shit-itching selfish stupidity.
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What the actual fuck....
Los hombres que no amaban a las mujeres
Este sádico fue 27 años seleccionador femenino. Disfrutaba humillándolas. Lo denunciaron. Nadie les hizo caso hasta que se plantaron. Tuvo que irse, pero hubo represalias contra ellas. La mierda que han tenido que aguantar estas mujeres
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Isn’t it awful to christ that the ppl who literally walk into fire to save us, have to go to these lengths to get a decent pay and working environment, while the ppl that wouldn’t even piss on us if we WERE on fire, give themselves pay rise after pay rises and expenses on top.
Retained firefighters have brought their dispute to Leinster House👨🚒🚒🧯
They hung their jackets on the railings - calling for better pay & conditions
@VirginMediaNews
@nrfaireland
@SIPTU
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Irish young fellas are the quarest of hawks. They're either wearing hoodies with the hood up in 25 degree heat, or GAA shorts in a blizzard, in the dead of winter.
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You know the judge before you read the article. That’s the state that our judiciary are in. And that’s not normal, folks. It’s not normal.
A young man who was caught coming into the country to meet a 13-year-old girl with pornographic images and videos of her on his phone has been given a suspended sentence
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How old are you? I’m I Still Call It The Point Depot years old.
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Fair play to Patrick Kielty. It was never gonna be easy anyway, but after the events of yesterday, he must have found it even more pressurizing to buoy up the Nation. He’s been absolutely brilliant, hilarious with the kids and made it his own. Nicely done. 👏
#LateLateToyShow
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Going forward, anyone who presents a character witness in a trial such as this should be prepared to have their names printed in every article about that case. If you’re gonna stand by your man, do it with the lights on.
Eleven character references were handed in today on behalf of a man who raped and abused his partner and her son and who the Central Criminal Court heard had made the family's life a "living hell".
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The cold stare of a culchie who feels none of your Montrose feelings and speaks only one language NO SHITE. There’ll be no feelings here, boyo. Undefeated.
#RTEgate
#OireachtasTV
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Hard to focus on anything, produce anything, after seeing the image of that poor child hanging from the wall in Rafah. Hard to process that level of savagery. Hard to accept that any fellow human being was capable of it. I don’t understand.
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To clarify, Dara O’Briain is a comedian from Bray.
Darragh O’Brien is the Minister for housing, from Mordor.
The are separate people, from separate places.
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Dear Men who aren’t used to Tesco shopping, this isn’t a fucking game. Keep it moving, bitches. Keep it moving. This is a blood sport. Your mammy can’t help you here.
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“When he was sober, he was a totally different man.”
Was he, aye?
@shakirakelly
@deirdrenugent4
@NiecyOKeeffe
@Smartheat
@philipnolan1
@HMcEntee
And here he is, the dirty bastard, minutes after nonce apologist Nolan set him free to terrorise more women & children 🤬
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Football looks healthy and normal.
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Me heart! 🥰🥰 I burst into tears when I left the audiologists with my first hearing aids and heard the birds for the 1st time in 20 years. I remember thinking “Oh, I’d forgotten about the birds.”
I hope you never forgot about the birds, beautiful Georgina. Xx
Georgina was diagnosed as severely deaf just after she was born.
She just received hearing implants.
Her reaction priceless
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