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Nic Keaney 💀 Profile
Nic Keaney 💀

@NicKeaney

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4,345
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Never give up! It’s always going to be the easier option but as soon as you do you’ve failed. And how will you post exciting videos like this if you fail?! 💪👀
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Hi @waitrose , I’ve bought a large Turkey but I’d like to swap it for 12 tubs of ice cream instead. And a bottle of gin. Can I do this in store?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
WHY COULDN’T WE FEED THE SCHOOL CHILDREN THEN
@SkyNews
Sky News
3 years
New royal yacht named after Prince Philip to be 'commissioned within weeks', costing as much as £200m
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
Deeply ashamed to live in a country where baby formula and basic household goods are encased in anti-theft packaging. When are we going to address the reason parents are having to steal baby milk and support them instead of criminalising them.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
There are men with bigger tits than me walking around soho shirtless and yet if I do the same I get arrested for indecency. What bullshit is that.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
4 months
I’m at A&E and the triage nurse is Irish. My partner asks if I recognise him as we’re probably related…💀 I curtly explain that not every irish person knows each-other 🙃 Anyway, turns out I’m wrong and the nurse is, of course, well acquainted with my family in Tipperary 🤡
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Imagine refusing to wear a mask in a pandemic because of your “civil liberties” but forcing women to carry a baby to term “for the good of society”... #Texas
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
“Craig David is part of the GB Olympic Archery management team, chiefly as the bow selector” #Howling
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
Imagine spending the pandemic away from your family, risking your life as a nurse to help others and now having to beg for a 1% pay rise from a government who gave a woman a lifetime salary of 115k for 44 days work. Tell me that’s not corruption. But do so with a straight face.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
@piersmorgan this you?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
I just tried to help a very elderly lady cross the road in West Hampstead and she told me to fuck off. The world is healing.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
The prime minister just said we need to “insist” the Taliban stops producing opium. Will that be a phone call or a strongly worded letter?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
Everyone sees it right? It’s not just me… *calls therapist*
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
I’ve received a message containing screenshots with my hinge dating profile from someone “threatening” to post them. So pls enjoy from my very own account. Happy Saturday.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
7 months
Genuine question. Who is she talking to?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
Interesting response here from Julia to being reminded of how old one of the women in the Russel Brand sexual assault/rape allegations was… Julia would be a modern day aunt Lydia
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Big “dragging daughter to church to show the neighbours we’re good Christians” energy
@TheSun
The Sun
3 years
Boris Johnson casts his vote for the London mayoral election alongside fiancee Carrie Symonds #Election2021
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Buy a rape alarm🚨 Don’t walk alone at night🚨 Don’t be too drunk🚨 Don’t get into the wrong taxi🚨 How about Don’t follow us home Don’t rape us Don’t kill us Don’t lock us in rooms and torture us
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Welcome to life as a woman seeking justice👇🤡
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
Only Londoners will appreciate this but I just managed to get out of bank station in less than 4 minutes. I wasn’t even using a map.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
Sorry to confirm that the party poopers are right and not drinking alcohol, going to bed early and exercising in the morning has drastically improved my anxiety, energy levels and a lot of my sleeping issues. So sorry.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
> Spectator chairman = Andrew Neil > GB News chairman = Andrew Neil > GB News fired presenter for taking the knee on air in stand against racism > spectator running below story on @MarcusRashford what a strange coincidence 🕵️‍♀️
@MarcusRashford
Marcus Rashford
3 years
Just heard @spectator are planning to run a story on me tomorrow about how I have benefitted commercially in the last 18 months…To clarify, I don’t need to partner with brands. I partner because I want to progress the work I do off the pitch and…(1)
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
4 years
“wE cAN AGrEe tO dISaGReE” Yes if the subject is pizza toppings. NOT about people’s right to live as the person they are without fear of violence and discrimination.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Anybody with a penis who impregnates a woman should be fined 10k & must look after the baby alone for the first 7 years. No we don’t care what you think nor how that will impact you. We’re just going to make it law & you’ll be punished if you don’t do it. That’s fair right?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
The level of trolling here is exceptional. Mayoral even.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
At what point does this become targeted obsessive harassment. I feel like we’re pretty close now.
This man is a father
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
I’m glad Maxwell is going to be punished for the damage she inflicted on those young women but we have yet to see any of the men involved face real consequences. Powerful men who trafficked and used teenage girls are out here drinking, dancing (and sweating)
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
10 months
Do not do this. Don’t narcissistically hijack someone’s public moment of recognition for their personal achievement and try to usurp it for your own selfish motives. Also, the pressure she is under to say yes in this context is wildly inconsiderate and unfair
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
7 months
The other day I joked that the only place left for Laurence Fox to air his misogyny was on Andrew Tate’s channel and lo and behold….
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Hancock’s latest insta story suggests he didn’t know the affair was going to break in the news #matthancock
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
@Bruce_Ak @waitrose in the Micro-Wavay
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
By the time my case is heard it will have been 5 years since he was first arrested. In that time, the police confirmed that other women have said he assaulted them. The system is broken.
@jessphillips
Jess Phillips MP
3 years
Today in howling at the moon just seen a young woman who reported her rape at the age of 15, her case may be heard by the end of this year, she is now 19. 4 YEARS!!!! SHE WAS A CHILD.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
@RishiSunak What are you doing about this?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
If you're more upset over @jessphillips including Brianna Ghey in the list of women killed this past year than the fact women are being brutally murdered by men every day then you don't actually care about women.
@PinkNews
PinkNews
1 year
Brianna Ghey: Labour MP Jess Phillips includes trans girl in list of women killed over past year
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
Reader: almost every woman you know has been sexually assaulted, raped or harassed. They may not be telling you when it happens. They may never tell anyone it happened. But it’s happening.
@RosieisaHolt
Rosie Holt
8 months
Newsflash trolls, a lot of us know what we are talking about when it comes to sexual assault.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
My mother just asked me if I’d met any nice boys or girls lately. And literally that’s all you have to do parents. It’s not that hard.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Prime Minister, apparently
@ddofinternet
Daily Dose
3 years
Name a job where you can consistently be wrong and still not lose your job?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
WESTMINSTER TESCO IS THE WORST TESCO IN THE WORLD NO COMPETITION
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
@fionacoleman89 @waitrose I’m going to assume you don’t live in London as the idea that any kitchen has space for a chest freezer is laughable
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
10 months
Musk has single-handedly destroyed one of the most valuable news-gathering sources in the world. Some of my most impactful and important sources and stories were found on twitter and that’s been made impossible now because of Musk’s greed.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
This Professor was wrongly named as one of the academics consulted by the Race commission for yesterday’s report. How is that even possible? Who exactly did they actually consult?! And why are they adding names of those they didn’t consult to bolster the validity of this report?
@blackpoppies14
Stephen Bourne
3 years
To my horror I named as one of the 'academics & individuals' who was consulted by the Commission on Race & Ethnic Disparities. I wonder how many others were consulted without their knowledge?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
Women raped in broad daylight but Stephen Fry feels sorry for straight men that we aren’t cruising around looking for sex as much as they are. Maybe that’s because women are in constant danger of being assaulted, anywhere and everywhere, at every time of day-regardless their age.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
If I meet my future wife/husband from this I expect @hinge to pay for the wedding frankly
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Incel Excel 🤝 Incorrectly assuming Something is a date
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Seems to be an interesting correlation between the women Piers targets but I can’t quite put my finger on it 🙃
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Are you actually kidding me
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
I was recently diagnosed with “severe ADHD” after undergoing private tests and consultations. #ADHD presents in women v differently to men and whilst I’m not an expert let me thread you some of the things I do that are strong indicators of ADHD that may help you…
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Just received a target list compiled by the Taliban containing names of people they want to find. Many women, many lawyers, writers, activists. The international community has completely abandoned them. And now the news cycle has moved on they’ll be forgotten #Afghanishtan
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
@pritipatel @England I’ve been keeping the receipts
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
wHY dIDNt yOu gO TO thE pOLicE
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Police: we don’t have enough officers to attend every incident of indecent exposure Also the police:
@BadgerTrust
Badger Trust
3 years
Today we're delivering our dedicated badger crime training course to @DerbyshireRCT Training the police to recognise the signs of badger crime is a key part of our #StopBadgerCrime campaign. Your 💷 make this possible. THANK YOU. More on this work 👉
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
I’m pretty sure there’s a different term for “having sex with a child” @LBC
@LBC
LBC
2 years
Serving Met officer charged with having sex with schoolgirl and 12 other child sex offences
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
Almost every woman I know has had an abortion, including me. Some were raped, one found out they were pregnant after leaving an abusive man, others simply weren’t ready/able to look after a baby. None of those reasons are less valid than the others. Our bodies, our choices.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
Just had an altercation with a woman in Pret who called me “a f*cking bobble-headed stick insect” and honestly, I respect the creativity of it.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
A man in the hospital emergency room has deliverood himself a MacDonalds. I am in awe.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
@RosieisaHolt I get two or three anon man winkle pics a month and the trick is to respond with... '1,2,3,4 I declare a thumb war' They tend to not reply after that
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Seriously guys I’m fine. The funny thing about women is we are super f*cking strong. We are not the problem here. Educate young men, respect women even if you don’t know them, don’t laugh at sexist jokes and don’t ask us what we were wearing. Be our ally. #SarahEverard
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
So apparently it was worth it as I have “severe ADHD” and the psychiatrist doesn’t know “how I’ve functioned so well all these years.” Am def going to do a thread because the convo was both upsetting but v interesting, particularly for women.
@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
£660 on an ADHD assessment. I suppose that’s more important than a holiday 🤡
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
If you had to choose between men and dogs for the rest of your life, what type of dog are you choosing?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
@RishiSunak A hospital told a new mother I know that they had to limit the baby formula provided to new parents, as they heavily depend on DONATED formula. Why are the Conservatives-who often wax lyrical about the importance of family- not funding this?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Current mood
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
The real life consequences of the shoddily produced BBC documentary “revealing” the ADHD private diagnosis scandal. Well done beeb. 👏
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
Dog
@gavinthomas2015
Gavin Thomas
1 year
Apparently, if you can see two people hugging, you're left-brained, and if you can see a dinosaur, you're right-brained. What do you see in the mountain?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
🎶 Everything you can do we can do bleeding 🩸
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
@MariaDeCotis @RosieisaHolt well look who it is! Big Kyle again. Disgusting relentless man. He must be one of the worst most prolific harassers on this platform
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
However you look at it the government did not care. They were happy to lie to the public and let the elderly die. But what did you expect from a man whose personal life is in absolute disarray, who got fired as a journalist for making quotes up, and oversaw corrupt PPE contracts.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Why are we using money for another vanity project when there are literally children going hungry. A massive cladding scandal. Underpaid nurses. Etc etc @BorisJohnson @DominicRaab @MattHancock @JakeBerry
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Imagine typing the words 'anti-Britain' from your house on the French Riviera where you live for most of the year.
@Femi_Sorry
Femi
3 years
Ahh Mr BBC balance himself, Andrew Neil.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
Me: I’ve joined Pink News Rosie Duffield:
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Morrisons has lost the plot
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
We should get a bank holiday every time a PM is forced to resign
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
@AyoCaesar Thanks so much. Ngl it’s pretty terrifying to tell people. There’s always that weird sense of embarrassment and shame like it’s your fault but I know that’s wrong. Also so many, “don’t go walking at night” tweets just broke me
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
When I tweeted about what happened to me, hundreds of women DMd to tell me their stories. HUNDREDS. And many of them weren’t walking home. They were at work, or a friend’s house, or teaching. You only hear about 1% in the press but it occurs every single day. We need to do more.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
Good thing she doesn’t need to know anything about digital media or culture for her government job as *checks notes*
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
@MattPachent It’s the law that someone is allowed to be sexually assaulted or raped when they are 16?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
🚨Today I join @PinkNews as Managing Editor🚨 As Pink informs, inspires and empowers further into Europe I’ll be reaching out to a lot of my contacts but if you want to get in touch with an editorial/product/collab idea msg me. (Don’t worry-my job doesn’t involve photoshop)
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Toothless organisation setting a precedent for broadcasters like GB News to disseminate fake news and criticise the veracity of mental health issues. @Ofcom is not fit for purpose anymore.
@Ofcom
Ofcom
3 years
Today we’ve concluded our investigation into Piers Morgan’s comments on Good Morning Britain in the wake of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s interview with Oprah Winfrey. Read our decision and the reasons for it here (pdf) ➡️
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Once upon a time in Hollywood is the worst move I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen all the Twilights
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
I neither need nor want sympathy. I need this government to correct the fact they're not doing enough to protect women with stronger sentencing and faster court processes. They only care when we're murdered but a lot of us were only a decision away from being dead.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
So you’re telling me a man who doesn’t know how his flat was funded is running the country? Right...ok
@Steven_Swinford
Steven Swinford
3 years
Boris Johnson learned that a Tory donor had funded the refurbishment of the Number 11 flat from media reports in late February, it is claimed Lord Geidt says Boris Johnson was not aware David Brownlow had settled bill - said to be £200,000 - directly with the supplier on Oct 22
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
@wallacemc2011 Would you accept that people’s circumstances can change quite drastically? Mortgage rates & energy prices are at an all time high. Do you expect people to factor that in when getting pregnant? And that’s before you take into account accidents, unexpected deaths, job loss etc
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
Completely unravelled Carole’s uneducated, false arguments
@MarinaPurkiss
Marina Purkiss
8 months
Quite astonishing… The first time I’ve ever been on a show and another panellist has simply refused to engage with me.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
I’d rather he be sacked for allocating millions of pounds of PPE contracts to his mates but beggars can’t be choosers #matthancock
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
@agnesfrim Her former partner made a lucky escape here I think
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
I beg your f pardon
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
A hospital told a new mother I know that they had to limit the baby formula provided to new parents, as they heavily depend on DONATED formula. Why are the Conservatives-who often wax lyrical about the importance of family- not funding this?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
So frustrated by job adverts that don’t include salary ranges. You’re wasting applicant time and your own. You will have budgeted for a range based on candidate experience, so include that figure or don’t post the job.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
My time at Twitter is officially over but I'm delighted to announce I'll be joining @PinkNews as Managing Editor in early March. Huge love to all my ex-tweeps, and the friends who have kept me sane during the chaos. We will thrive.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
8 months
One for you @RishiSunak when you’re done talking about dogs, and politicising vulnerable communities…
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
@ThanePrince @waitrose I’d rather the gin at this point tbh.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
I can sleep easy knowing I’m on the right side of history (aka the one that doesn’t put all its energy into denigrating black female athletes)
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
7 months
@GBNEWS Is this investigation going to include some of the other allegations against Wooton too?
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
We can now say without doubt that a serving member of the met police kidnapped and raped a young woman. You can tell me 'not all men' all you like but clearly it can be any man. Women are NOT safe. #saraheverard
@Fhamiltontimes
Fiona Hamilton
3 years
BREAKING Wayne Couzens, Met diplomatic protection officer, has pleaded guilty to the rape and kidnap of Sarah Everard. Old Bailey told he accepts responsibility for her killing - he has not been arraigned pending medical reports
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
My bad for not escaping. I didn’t even think of that
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble but 2020 ending doesn’t mean Corona ends. You still need to wear a mask tomorrow.
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
2 years
Have had a rough few weeks so posting a selfie from when I was happier after inadvertently walking around London dressed like a Handmaid #UnderHisEye Bring on Feb 🙃
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
1 year
I interrupt people all the time in conversations and end up coming across rude when really I’m afraid I’ll forget my thought
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
4 months
We are a parody of ourselves lads ☘️
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@NicKeaney
Nic Keaney 💀
3 years
Either the US/UK governments knew exactly what would happen in #Afghanistan and didn’t care. OR they had no idea, indicating they’re both incompetent and have NO business taking decisions that have international or domestic consequences. Blood is on their hands.
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