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@NeonHooligan
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Multi-award winning nail artist & small business owner. Live, Laugh, Lobotomy. Relentlessly correct. 🦋https://t.co/ZbHGiFUaKs
United Kingdom
Joined August 2019
RT @Texaspete911: does anyone have a home remedy for the darkness within that is slowly overcoming your will to live? I tried apple cider v….
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Advance warning. I am now on extremely strong painkillers which I think make me extra funny. Me. I think that. The one on the painkillers. I'm genuinely laughing at myself already, see? High as a damn kite.
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Just had a horrible thought - who do I put for emergency contact nowadays? Mum died, Dad just been diagnosed with cancer and starting chemo so can't be him. Feels a bit too intimate to ask a mate to be your emergency contact. Who the hell do I put?!. God, being grown up sucks.
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So someone said, ask your ChatGPT to create an image of what it's like talking to you and. 😂 Let's see yours @joannamont
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Just rubbed my eyes after putting retinol serum on my face - my eyes now resemble one of the 28 days later infected. Also OUCH. 🥹.
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Second day in a row we've had fighter jets practicing manoeuvres in the valley, skimming super close to my house. I DON'T LIKE THAT THEY ARE UPPING THEIR PRACTICE.
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I had the big sads anyway but today I got some SUPER bad family news so I've called the 4th Emergency service for assistance. 🥰
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You son of a bitch, I'm in.
I’ve decided to be fully delusional this year and see where that takes me because being sensible hasn’t gleaned the results I’m looking for.
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Everyone in the UK has a heatwave warning, meanwhile in my home town:
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Lol good luck with the fall out of THAT, horrid bookshop. See that little courtyard to the left of it in the article? Look what they are doing this weekend 👌🏻
Pride flag moved after Christian bookshop complaint
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Despite being given MINUS NINE minutes for my connection at Derby, I've been fortunate in that apparently they're all running fifteen mins late cause of some kind of DRAMZ earlier. I MAY GET HOME BEFORE MIDNIGHT YET! 🤞🏻🤞🏻.
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Well, had two hours to kill at St Pancras cause apparently my travel luck did not hold and my final crack at a viable train was cancelled but there are worse places to hang out!
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Anyway I figured it out when another woman came over and said "Did he say it to you too?" and I was like, what? Acton Town? . Anyway in short, I avoided an uncomfortable sexual advance by SIMPLY NOT LISTENING PROPERLY 🤷🏻♀️
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This big dude just stood up, leant over me and said "get dicked down?" as he was heading to the doors at Hounslow West - but I misheard him and thought he said "Acton Town?" and there's me saying it's like, 7 more stops, and I couldn't understand why he was getting off there?.
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I feel like I see this dude at Berlin airport just as regularly as the dude I actually fly out to see. If he's on queue control you know you're getting out of there SEHR SCHNELL. No one is as competent a queue wrangler as this dude. NO ONE. 🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️
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Looking forward to facing the tube when I land later 😫.
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Drei Flaschen französischen Rotwein und Eis zum Abendessen, bitte. 😇
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