James Heale
@JAHeale
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Political Correspondent @spectator
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The next Bond has to be black, charismatic, a hit with the ladies and always ready with a one liner.
There's only candidate for the job.
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Sure the Superbowl half-time show had a galaxy of stars but can it compare to Bruce Forsyth at the 1974 FA Cup final?
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Imagine painstakingly planning a daring escapade, breaking out of a Category B prison, surviving on the run for three days and nights, only to be ruthlessly mocked by everyone on Twitter for only making it as far as Chiswick:
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Don’t worry what A level results you get, you still won’t be able to afford a house
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Gordon Brown asked by Sky on whether he will do a Cameron-style comeback: “I’m too old to be a British politician and too young to be an American politician.”
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The pics of Sadiq just staring aimlessly at marijuana plants are simply superb
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Here is the video of a Bristol University cleaner breaking down in tears after students fundraised £1500 for him and his wife to go on holiday this summer
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Rishi Sunak's account has just tweeted and deleted a video hailing his list of achievements from his first year in office. Included this gem:
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“THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF TESTIMONY, EACH MORE CLIMATIC THAN THE LAST!“
Covid inquiry: "Witnesses will be questioned until at least 2026."
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“A PARTY LEADER IN POLICE CUSTODY? BUT FOR WHO CHRIS KAMARA?!”
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🧵 Apropos of nothing, reminded of the 1999 GMTV encounter between Theresa May (future PM) & Teresa May (adult film star).
The two were brought together after the Tory MP was promoted to the frontbench & started getting letters of congratulation from appreciative young men 1/5
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Clip from the Question Time 2005 election leaders’ special in which voters complain to Tony Blair about being given doctors’ appointments sooner than needed
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Friend working as a primary school teacher has said they’re trying to stop pupils from running around the playground tagging each other and yelling “Coronavirus!” in place of the more traditional “It”
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Tony Blair’s 2014 and 2023 Xmas cards look like they bookend a heartwarming decade-long Eastenders plotline about a local hard man who renounces his ways to settle down with family
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Matt Hancock has turned up with flowers in Westminster station to give to the TfL employee who helped him yesterday with a protestor. Gave her a hug too.
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Keir Starmer on Matt Hancock’s I’m A Celeb appearance: “a rare case of him eating bollocks rather than talking them.”
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Sunday Times claims Boris Johnson personally "despises" his opposite number. An ally says: "He genuinely does not like Keir. He sees this man as part of a privileged, metropolitan, narrow-minded elite uncomfortable with the raw instincts of the vast majority of British people."
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POV: you’re on the worst Hinge date of your life
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Turns out, he really did
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🔥 Neil Kinnock on Iain Dale’s podcast about the last words he ever spoke to Arthur Scargill in 1985: “You are a quite remarkable trade union leader Arthur. You are the only one I’ve ever known who started a strike with a big union and a small house and end it with the opposite.”
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It’s 21 years this month since Jeremy Paxman asked Tony Blair the greatest two-part question in British political history
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RIP Ivana Trump, star of one the all time great Pizza Hut commercials
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Theresa May recalls when she dropped a cheese in front of the Queen
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Breaking: Tom Tugendhat served in the army. More as we get it.
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Will we see a repeat of the best Scandinavian commentary on an England game tonight? 🏴 🇩🇰
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Enjoyable analysis in Popbitch of how many storylines in 2003's Love Actually would become impossible under the proposed 2023 legal migration rules
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Favourite Shaun Bailey moment is still the time he was asked for his favourite London boozer and named a pub that was demolished 23 years ago.
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"Glory to Ukraine. Glory to Great Britain." Zelensky closes his address to a standing ovation across the House and in the galleries.
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Understand the BBC are currently investigating this pretty shocking case
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Best reshuffle story is still the Tory minister in the 80s who, knowing that he was about to be sacked by Thatcher, arranged to be in an obscure part of Scandinavia out of phone reception. Eventually the whips grew exasperated after waiting for two days and he kept his job.
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David Cameron in at No. 10? Love it when they bring back characters from earlier seasons
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Can’t help wondering if Penny Mordaunt’s gig as Leader of the House and Lord President of the Council has worked out quite well for her.
Seems to mostly consist of her wearing nice outfits and demolishing the SNP every Thursday in parliament.
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Love Theresa May’s reaction to Bill Cash mentioning the Maastricht Treaty
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An eye-popping 1995 letter from the Spectator archives, each line just gets more incredible than the last
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Superb cut out and keep guide to fighting off an XL Bully in today’s Mail
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On reshuffle day, best story I’ve heard was the 80s Tory minister who, knowing that he was about to be sacked by Thatcher, arranged to be in an obscure part of Scandinavia out of phone reception. Eventually the whips grew exasperated after waiting for 2 days and he kept his job.
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Commiserations to Prince Harry on being the only person to launch an unsuccessful legal challenge against the Home Office
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Gladstone entered Parliament aged 22, Lord Salisbury was elected at 23, while Churchill, Balfour and Benn were only 25 when they first sat in the Commons. David Steel was 26; Roy Jenkins 27.
It's character, rather than age, which defines our MPs.
When Johnny Mercer compared the new Labour MP for Selby to an Inbetweener
“We don’t want parliament to become like the Inbetweeners” he told
@skynews
Then this:
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Big demonstration in solidarity with Ukraine outside Downing Street tonight
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Tomorrow's Budget coincides with the Cheltenham racing festival - some Tories claimed that such a clash ought to be a resigning issue for Gordon Brown when it occurred back in 2004 ...
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Sajid Javid wins The Spectator’s Comeback of the Year and thanks “those people who made it possible… the Prime Minister, my wife… the CCTV people at the Department of Health.”
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Government source: “The fact that it took 48 hours for this to be noticed tells its own story.”
Jacob Rees-Mogg is leaving this note for civil servants who aren’t at their desks…
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Ahead of the three by-election results tonight, thinking of Ipswich in 2001 and a time when we did these things properly
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Happy 18th birthday to this clip of Jeremy Paxman asking Tony Blair if he knew a load of porn mags.
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As an aside: Jordan Pickford, what a tournament. Two goals conceded in seven games, made a blinding initial save for the one tonight and then kept his nerve in the shoot out. Lion between the posts.
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Politico quotes one student on why they're attending CPAC: "It's 50 bucks for meeting some of the most insane people on Earth. It's great."
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Penny Mordaunt on Britain’s favourite political podcasts tonight:
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Strong “Dissertation submitted!” vibes from the Chancellor this morning
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New pics of Big Ben just dropped 🔥
©UK Parliament/Jessica Taylor
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“There’s no point in waiting for silence - the honourable gentleman will not get silence. Produce your voice, Mr Hughes!”
RIP to Betty Boothroyd, one of the great Speakers of the Commons
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New: No 10 considering offering the Republic of Ireland vaccines when the UK has a surplus
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Budget day is the one day of the year you can drink at the Commons dispatch box. Choices include:
💧 Brown and his successors: water
🥃 Clarke: whisky
🍹 Lawson: spritzer
🍸 Howe: G&T
🥃 Healey, Disraeli: brandy & water
🥛 Dalton: rum and milk
🍷 Gladstone: sherry & beaten egg
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“Chai latte” has only been referenced four times in Hansard - all four by Jonathan Gullis
Out of context House of Commons: Jonathan Gullis woke edition.
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One of the biggest rounds of applause of the night goes to the former mine engineer who delivers a 30 second elevator pitch for fracking. Thunderous reception.
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It's exactly one year today since the 2020 election and the creation of this masterpiece
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Labour MP Tahir Ali accuses Rishi Sunak of having "blood on his hands" over UK arms sales to Israel.
Sunak responds: "That's the face of the changed Labour party."
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'Hot mic' moments - a quick history:
1993- John Major 'The bastards'
2005- Prince Charles 'Can't bear that man'
2010- Gordon Brown 'Bigoted woman'
2014- David Cameron 'Purred down the line'
2016- David Cameron 'Fantastically corrupt'
2023- Gillian Keegan 'Sat on their arses'
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Keir Starmer is being urged to sack frontbencher Lloyd Russell-Moyle after the Mail on Sunday unearthed footage of incendiary comments he made at an election rally in late November.
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“THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF BY ELECTIONS, EACH MORE CLIMATIC THAN THE LAST! CONTANT, DIZZYING, TWENTY-FOUR HOUR, YEARLONG, ENDLESS BY ELECTIONS. EVERY BY ELECTION MASSIVELY MATTERING TO SOMEONE, PRESUMABLY.”
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It’s 25 years this month since this incredible plan to secure support for the Good Friday Agreement
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Put the Telegraph investigations team on the Fourth Plinth 🏴
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Michael Gove has had a smoking den built on the department roof so he can have a cig without being heckled in the street
Story from
@ryansabey
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Horse Guards Parade. Man singing lustily in an England ‘96 shirt, six pack in one hand, fag in another. Union Jack billowing behind him, Tesco crown on his head. The lion roars.
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Now poll shows Brits back Gibraltar having a seat in the Commons like Gower, Gordon or Gateshead by more than 3 to 1
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Cherie Blair the morning after the 97 election is such a mood
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Me watching this whole Rooney/Vardy drama unfold
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Jeremy Hunt is not expected to restore the tradition of Chancellors having an alcoholic drink at the despatch box tomorrow on Budget Day. The last to do so was Ken Clarke with a whisky in 1996.
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In Somerset, the head of the ‘Lib Dem unit’ at CCHQ has been defeated by, er, the Lib Dems
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John McDonnell appeared today at Snaresbrook Crown Court to give a character witness for Apsana Begum, the Tower Hamlets MP on trial for housing fraud. McDonnell told the court that if he had been made Chancellor he would have appointed Begum as his Treasury PPS.
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So does CCHQ
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Lee Anderson, 2nd January: “Reform is not the answer. It leaves the door open for Sir Keir Starmer to get into No. 10 and undo all the hard work we’ve tried to do so far.”
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