IAN HYLAND
@HylandIan
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UK-based TV critic ( @YahooEntsUK ), interviewer, media commentator. Most recently at Daily Mirror and Mail On Sunday. DMs open for work enquiries.
Joined June 2011
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I’m hearing Dan Stevens has now apologised for his Boris Johnson joke on The One Show. Apparently, Dan had had a very busy day of work and wasn’t aware at the time that he was breaking BBC rules. He also didn’t realise he was on The One Show.
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My 4 takes from today.
1. The Queen was one in a million and is irreplaceable.
2. The UK can still put on a show.
3. Leave the BBC alone.
4. Leave Meghan alone.
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The BBC photographer and the picture editor get all the bonuses today;
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Is she a good teacher?
Yes she is?
Then yes, I would.
Debate over:
http://t.co/5aVAQ1ysqQ
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I think that all the fuss over
#HarryandMeghanNetflix
proves one thing: Harry and Meghan are more interesting than the rest of the royal family put together.
That must be incredibly hard to accept.
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People who proudly refuse to wear masks in shops are basically saying that people who work in shops all day - and are therefore exposed to the public all day - are beneath them.
Imagine being that kind of person.
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Fiona Bruce shutting down any discussion of Farage’s Breaking Point poster on the grounds that it is “ancient history.”
Talk about showing your hand.
#BBCQT
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Channel 5 is showing programmes and movies for kids on Monday instead of the Queen’s funeral.
A sensible decision for which they should be applauded.
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Has Marcus Rashford tried simply donating some money to the Tory party coffers?
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Strangely irritated by the BBC trailer for the new series of
#LineOfDuty
.
"From the makers of Bodyguard."
No.
Bodyguard was from the makers of Line Of Duty.
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Please list them here
@MattHancock
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We’re going to build 40 new hospitals over the next decade - as well as completing new hospitals already under construction like the Midland Met 👇
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Tonight’s viewing: At 9pm on BBC1 you could watch
#Roadkill
, which is a fictional drama about a ruthless Tory MP who will stop at nothing to achieve his ambitions.
Or you could just wait for the news at 10pm and watch the real thing.
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@mrjamesob
Boris will just tell himself they didn’t like the hat - and by 1pm Dorries, Raab and Rees Mogg will have tweeted the same.
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Laura Kuenssberg on BBC News just now on opposition to Johnson’s tax hike: “There’s been bellyaching.”
I think you mean there’s been legitimate questions raised, Laura.
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Can someone explain to me why everyone was so amazed that a woman who sang one of the songs for the actual movie of The Greatest Showman could sing the same song on stage on
#BritainsGotTalent
?
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Just had the best news from school that any parent could hear: “The children will not be dressing up for World Book Day this year.”
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Handy reminder.
1. The Government sets the cost of the
#tvlicence
, not the BBC.
2. You need a licence to watch or record TV programmes live on ANY channel (on a TV or device) OR access any BBC stuff on iPlayer.
3. You don't need one for Netflix.
4. It's licence, not license.
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Your regular free reminder that it wasn't the BBC that got rid of the free TV licence for over-75s.
It was Boris Johnson's government - a government that you may have voted in.
The BBC is still providing a free TV licence for those most in need.
See you again in a few days.
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Presenters, reporters, pundits and gobshites call Boris Johnson “Boris” and Keir Starmer “Sir Keir Starmer” for a reason.
It’s not accidental, and it’s not very subtle.
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As ever, the BBC’s Simon McCoy nails it.
In the space of 24 hours Boris Johnson has gone “from the Incredible Hulk to the incredible sulk.”
Bravo.
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Questions for interviewers to ask Nigel Farage next time he mentions WTO.
1. How many new trade deals would the UK need?
2. How long do trade deals take to negotiate?
3. Who will negotiate them for us?
4. Who will pay them to negotiate for us?
5. Where is he emigrating to?
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This fad for letting the public name ships really has gone too far now:
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The first time I interviewed Paul O'Grady, his handlers said I had an hour.
He kept me on the phone for the whole afternoon talking politics and Strictly Come Dancing and everything in between.
Then he told me to call back if we'd missed anything.
An absolute one-off, he was.
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Unlike certain other people, the BBC and Strictly never promised us everything would be normal only to then let us down badly. They just said they’d do their best. And they have.
This has been a brilliant series.
#StrictlyFinal
#StrictlyComeDancing
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I'm very much enjoying Good Morning Britain's money expert Martin Lewis giving ministers his version of the "With me it's a full time job. Now behave yourself." speech from Get Carter.
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If Keir Starmer is Captain Hindsight does that make Boris Johnson General Oversight?
#PMQs
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If Katie Hopkins really does say "what everyone is thinking" then my guess is she is currently saying "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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When your dad brings his new wife to your wedding even though you expressly told him he couldn't:
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Rufus Hound to Pip Schofield on whether his
#DancingOnIce
routine was crazy.
“Mate, we live in a world where the people we elect don’t want to feed hungry children. This (routine) is the least crazy thing.”
Going in blade first on the Tories on a light entertainment show.
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Just watched the opening episode of the new series of
#LineOfDuty
.
Bodyguard wishes it was this good.
Every show wishes it was this good.
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Why has Cummings written his statement in the style of Carrie Bradshaw?
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“I grew up in Ireland watching your show.” Louis Walsh to Ricki Lake.
Ricki’s show started in 1993.
When Louis Walsh was 41 years old.
#XFactorCelebrity
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This year's Children In Need broadcast should open with Tess Daly reading out the names and constituencies of every MP that voted against feeding starving kids.
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I’ll definitely be having a drink on June 22nd when the pubs reopen.
In my garden.
With my family.
Nowhere near a pub.
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This week's Gogglebox should just be Dan Wootton and Piers Morgan watching
#HarryandMeghanNetflix
together - with Harry sending them "U OK HUN?" texts every ten minutes.
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Last Monday ITV’s This Morning ran a poll asking whether Jamie Carragher should resign from his high-profile, role model TV job. Looking forward to seeing what Holly Willoughby (same agent as Ant) and Phillip Schofield (same agent as Ant) have got lined up for us today.
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Rod Stewart looks like Richard Hammond playing a 1980s Doctor Who.
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Why did Simon Cowell take the piss out of Fleur East for being on the biggest show on TV?
#XFactorFinal
#ImACelebrity
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"It's a time-traveller with two hearts who lives in a police box."
"Seems feasible."
"And it's a woman."
"No, sorry. That's just bollocks."
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So basically a bunch of British fuckwits went to Belgium and failed to negotiate any kind of deal.
Sounds familiar.
#TheApprentice
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Anyone know if the driver of the Brexit Bus also has an HGV licence?
Asking for a country.
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Simon Cowell got it right. If there’s deadlock you go back to the public vote.
#Brexit
#indicativevotes
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Piers Morgan just berated Harry and Meghan for failing to recognise there are more important things in the world than them, while devoting the whole of his one hour show - on a fairly busy proper actual news day - to their Netflix documentary.
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Of course, the strangest bit in
#LoveActually
is the gropey US president who thinks he can just grab any woman he likes.
Just imagine that.
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I think the fact that Andy Murray now has a child gives him the edge over Raonic.
If you're not a father yourself you won't understand this.
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Last season, stories about Wrexham going for promotion back to the league were all over the mainstream news.
This season? Chesterfield are 13 pts clear with 2 games in hand and have won 17 home games in a row.
Silence.
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If Cummings doesn’t come out wearing a “I Went To Barnard Castle And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt” t-shirt then we’re all wasting our time here.
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What "I'm signing off for Twitter for the Christmas holidays" really means:
I'm only announcing I'm signing off for attention. I'll still be checking Twitter pretty much all day every day and by Boxing Day I'll be wishing I hadn't made the announcement because now I can't tweet.
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@mrjamesob
“Did you actually watch it?”
“It was a disgrace. Kids shouldn’t have to see that.”
“Did you actually watch it?”
“There’s no excuse for it. It’s polluting innocent people’s minds.”
“Did you actually watch it?”
“I didn’t need to!”
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I'd love to see Theresa May trying to accuse BBC2's
#hospital
of being "overblown and irresponsible."
The camera doesn't lie.
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BREAKING. Michael Gove and Stanley Johnson just spotted arriving at Jennifer Arcuri’s flat with a box of Milk Tray and some petrol station flowers.
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Which song will Boris Johnson whistle as he walks back into No.10 after delivering his resignation speech?
I’m going for Carrie Doesn’t Live Here Anymore by Sir Cliff.
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Speaking of
#LineOfDuty
, if Steve has a dodgy back why is he putting his painkillers on the top shelf of his cupboard?
That’s asking for trouble.
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Many years ago, I had an interview booked with Peter Kay. He had to cancel last minute after catching the flu.
He proceeded to ring me at intervals for the rest of the day to update me on his condition.
“It’s Peter. I’ve just put some tomato soup on.”
Wish I’d recorded it.
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Best of luck to the This Morning production team that is in charge of putting Monday's show together.
I have a feeling there won't be any phone-ins during the show.
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All I’ll say is if Stacey Dooley MBE loses to two contestants who’ve danced before and one whose millions of You Tube fans will probably vote for him without even watching, then there is no justice in this world.
#strictlyfinal
#strictly
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Where’s the number to vote for the plucky Geordie lad who’s been holding the show together all by himself?
#BGTFinal
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Remember it’s a “spotty” theme on
#childreninneed2017
tonight.
You have to try to “spot” the millionaire tax avoiders encouraging you to donate your money to pay for the things their absent taxes would’ve paid for.
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Imagine all the Netflix kids watching
#TheCoronation
and going, “Woah. Are you telling me The Crown is a true story?”
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Woah!
Dom leaves on Friday,
#ImACeleb
starts on Sunday.
I’m A Celeb is being filmed in a castle, Dom likes a castle...
I am told that indeed is it. Dom Cummings has left No10 for good tonight, having decided not to stay until xmas.
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Might bring the Christmas Day family row forward a bit this year.
Revised timetable.
1pm: Lunch.
3pm: Queen’s Speech.
3.10pm: Pudding.
3.15pm: Grandmas and Grandads explain to the kids why they voted for Brexit.
3.20pm: Family row.
Carriages at 4pm.
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Watching
#GenerationGame
with my wife. I just said “Give us a twirl” and she launched into a ten minute rant about sexism on TV in the 1970s and 1980s.
I only wanted her to pass me an Easter Egg, FFS.
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Just been told this might be the week our Brexit government realises that borders have two sides.
Fingers crossed.
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Did people really complain this morning that Kate Garraway had ruined the ending of
#WhiteHouseFarm
?
At the beginning of each episode it literally says it's based on a true story, FFS.
Better not watch Titanic, guys.
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I hope Mel, Sue and Mary are watching this together. Getting pissed and throwing jam sponges at the telly.
#GBBO
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Claude: "It says here on your CV that you're a c**t."
Candidate: "It doesn't."
Claude: "It does now."
#TheApprentice
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Hi Twitter. Long shot, but does anyone know if Piers Morgan interviewed anyone really high profile lately and if it's going to be shown on TV soon?
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Feel sorry for Rod, Elton and the rest. Having to go on after that performance from Sam Ryder.
#PlatinumPartyatthePalace
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If Piers Morgan does quit British TV to go and work for Donald Trump I know it'll be tough for us all but we'll just have to stay strong.
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The only thing Matt Hancock has ever tested successfully is everyone's patience.
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This Kate Garraway documentary is a hell of a watch. If there’s any justice Derek will be back home soon, stepping on stray bits of Lego. I hope he gets there.
#FindingDerek
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Hello again. Your regular free reminder that this is what every household that buys a TV licence gets for its 43p a day.
Bargain.
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Susanna Reid: “Do you think the Prime Minister is honest all of the time?”
Nadhim Zahawi: “Yes I do.”
Blimey.
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Blimey. Rylan Clark-Neal has just landed his own Radio 2 show. What a career the lad is having.
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TV programmes that need bringing back?
I’ll start you off with Faking It.
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Just took my 93 year old grandmother to hospital.
She said "Where's the £350m?"
I said "Farage lied."
No one cheered.
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If it's not in Barnard Castle, ITV is just wasting everyone's time here.
I’m A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! moves to UK for 2020
Hosted by Ant and Dec, the show will be broadcast live every night from a ruined castle in the countryside. More -
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Ratings. Only 4.4m for the first
#XFactor
live show last night - down almost 1m on last year.
To be fair, there were some mitigating circumstances.
The main one being it was shite.
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Any TV awards in which Line Of Duty doesn’t win everything is null and void in my book.
#NTAs
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ITV basically saying anyone who complained to Ofcom can OfPiss.
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You have to give credit to Colombia. Still having eleven players on the pitch at full-time was a remarkable achievement.
#ENGCOL
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No disrespect to the civilian regulars, but I really wish
#CelebrityGogglebox
could be on every week.
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I really hope the people who made Mr Bates vs The Post Office are working on a drama about the PPE scandal next.
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“Dear Piers, Sorry for throwing you under that bus. Anyway, now that you’ve recharged your batteries will you please come back to Good Morning Britain? We REALLY need you. First week of September is good for us. Lots of love, ITV. PS. You can pick the team.”
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Is it okay to admit you don't actually give a toss about Harry and Meghan?
Asking for a friend.
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... Lead Presenter of Good Morning Britain: Female.
On
#InternationalWomenDay
, a reminder that in Britain, women rule...
Monarch: female
Prime Minister: female
Home Secretary: female
Scotland 1st Minister: female
Head of London fire service: female
Head of Met Police: female
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WARNING: If you aren't watching the
#LineofDuty
finale live tonight stay off here from 9pm.
This place will be leaking like a colander.
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Week off, so obviously I cracked and watched the whole of
#KillingEve
.
Best thing I’ve watched in years. Phoebe Waller-Bridge should be writing the next Bond movie.
This show should totally beat
#Bodyguard
in every awards category going. Probably won’t.
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