Megan Collins
@ImMeganCollins
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Author of THICKER THAN WATER, THE FAMILY PLOT, and more | managing editor of @3ElementsReview | cake enthusiast | dog stalker | she/her
Connecticut, USA
Joined August 2018
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THICKER THAN WATER—my domestic thriller about two BFF sisters-in-law who find themselves on opposite sides for the very first time when the man who connects them (husband to one, brother to the other) is accused of a brutal crime—is officially out!
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Did I…date Nancy Pelosi and completely forget about it?
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What’s an obscure line from a movie that you say all the time? Mine is from 10 Things I Hate About You: “That must be Nigel with the Brie!”
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We lost the very best girl today. It was so sudden and unexpected and my heart feels like it was scooped out of my body. Maisy brought me joy every single day for 9 years. How does anyone survive this? I don’t have kids or other pets to put my focus on. I miss her so much.
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Next time I feel guilty for buying a book when I have 50+ unread books, I’m gonna remind myself that by purchasing that book, I am rewarding the author for creating a great premise, the publisher for creating a great package, and the bookstore for being a comforting & cozy place.
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Allow me to introduce you to my best Christmas present! If you follow me on Instagram, then you know I love mini things. So my husband had this custom made (by
@booksbybritton
on Insta) with all the editions of my books—hardcover, paperback, large print, foreign. I was speechless
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Announcement!!! When you like a tweet with
#Thanksgiving
in it (go ahead—try it here) the little heart icon turns into a turkey, and I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT.
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Thinking bout how my first lit agent once said to me, “I mean, you’re not expecting to be reviewed in the New York Times or anything, right?” and yesterday my book was reviewed in the New York Times.
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If you haven't emailed someone saying, "WAIT, read THIS draft instead," are you even a writer?
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It blows my mind how
@dog_rates
started as a guy just literally rating dogs and being funny about it, then it turned into something he could make a very good living off of while helping raise money for dogs in need, and now he has a nonprofit,
@15outof10
, for HELPING MORE DOGS!!
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NON-MALE AUTHORS: let's talk obnoxious comments men have made to us at book events (for catharsis, solidarity, awareness?). I'll start. At my book launch, a man told me, "Yeah, I've been doing the whole querying thing. So, what -- you just got lucky?"
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If your review is mostly glowing, but has 1 negative comment in it, don't tag the author. If you write, "I've seen SO many mixed reviews about this book," don't tag the author. You can say anything you want about a book. But if it has anything negative, DON'T. TAG. THE. AUTHOR.
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The way this quote from
@JaneFriedman
’s Instagram page has been haunting me since I first saw it last night
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Very disappointing and, to be honest, a bit pathetic when a successful author unfollows other authors the second they, too, have any kind of success. We are each other’s community, not competition.
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This was published in Writer’s Digest today but this is bad (and honestly 🚩) advice. You have the right to take your time (standard is 2 weeks), to make a careful, informed decision, to contact the other agents considering your MS so you can find the BEST fit, the RIGHT fit.
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THREAD: Today, after 12 years, I resigned as a teacher. The decision came down to this: the options that were just announced were unacceptable to me. Either I'd teach in person during a pandemic, thus risking my life and my family's life, or...
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@e_sylviapoet
@dee_bee_h
Yes. But also: I read this as “That, and coping mechanisms,” and honestly that works too.
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Sometimes
@dog_rates
is more than my squishy heart can bear.
This is Ozzie. He wanted to share his panda with the other dog, but it turns out the other dog already has the EXACT SAME PANDA. 13/10 h*ckin suspicious
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Author problems: Knowing the phrase is really “I’m nauseated,” not “I’m nauseous,” but also knowing that hardly anyone says “I’m nauseated,” so you can either have your character be RIGHT and sound like they’re from two centuries ago, or sound normal but be WRONG.
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THE FAMILY PLOT is out in the world today! I can’t wait for you to meet the Lighthouses, the strangest family I’ve ever written. Expect a secluded island, creepy mansion, true crime references, murder museum, crime scene dioramas, and more! Hope you enjoy.
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@n1swiftie13
The “I should’ve known” to “And now that I know, I wish you’d left me wondering” pipeline
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✨COVER REVEAL✨
My next book, THICKER THAN WATER (out July 2023), is about two sisters-in-law who believe they have a perfect, unshakeable friendship until the man who connects them is accused of a brutal crime and they find themselves on opposite sides for the very first time.
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this news alert was accompanied by the sound of a thousand thriller authors opening a Word doc
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Won't forget the time I was a guest at a book club and someone criticized my book right to my face and I was so taken aback that I said, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
"I know what you mean"????
Way to have my own back!
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hi hello hi THE FAMILY PLOT is
#8
on the Publishers Weekly trade paperback bestseller list 🎉
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For those questioning what I mean by "non-male," I mean "non-cis-male." Sorry I didn't make that clear from the start; I was trying to think of a term that was inclusive of trans, non-binary, gender fluid, etc., but I left out a critical part of the term I was striving for.
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But I will try to find a silver lining: I will take a year to see if I can make writing full-time work. Many do not have the luxury to even try, so I know I am lucky in that regard. And no matter what happens with schools this year: please, be kind and patient with teachers.
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I'm bursting at the seams to share that I get to write another book for
@AtriaBooks
—and dare I say this might be my twistiest, most unhinged story yet?! Thank you so much to my editor for FIVE books now
@KaitlinJOlson
and my amazing agent
@sharongracepjs
!
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Authors who have gone to book clubs virtually or in person where a member criticizes your book to your face: have we figured out a way to respond to that?
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#amquerying
writers, don’t just settle for any agent, even though I know it’s tempting to when there’s finally an offer on the table. Wait for the agent who believes the best things can happen for your work. Because it’s so true: a bad agent is worse than no agent at all.
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THE FAMILY PLOT is out in paperback today! I’m excited for more readers to meet the Lighthouses, a true crime-obsessed family who gather to bury their patriarch only to discover the remains of their long missing brother already in their father’s grave. 🧵
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Me, pointing to a book: “My friend* wrote that”
*we’re mutuals on social media but we’ve never directly spoken to each other
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allowing them little opportunity to plan how to do this effectively (though I am unable to see how *anyone* could do this effectively). Regardless of how you feel about schools reopening, the way school staffs have been treated since the beginning of the summer is a travesty.
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@rgay
Honestly I don’t know why it took so long to film. Just point the camera at clouds for a half hour.
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@hannahlchinn
You’re obviously entitled to your opinion, but as a Slant Rhyme Nerd, I have to be annoying and point out that she isn’t rhyming those words; she’s slant-rhyming them, and in myyyy opinion, her slant rhymes are consistently fresh and interesting.
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@chera_writes
It’ll never cease to amaze me the number of ways men try to silence women. “Don’t get political”??? Also, your story reminds me of how often my husband gets asked if he’s a writer too. I’ve only ever heard about husbands being asked that BUT WHAT? WHY???
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For everyone wanting to snag this shirt themselves, it’s from
@OutofPrintTees
and this is the back
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More stellar displays of supporting the women’s movement.
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I’m so excited to share the cover of my next novel! THE FAMILY PLOT is coming your way August 2021. To read about the book, go here:
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Me before getting a book published: I just want to see my book on a shelf. I don't even care if anyone buys it.
Me after getting a book published: Listen, if Reese Witherspoon herself doesn't call me today, I swear I'll--
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I love litfic, but god, the way *some* literary authors condescend to genre authors as if the pitches for their books aren't just like "a man experiences challenges"
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So excited to share that THE FAMILY PLOT is a fiction finalist for the Connecticut Book Awards—in truly stellar company!
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Me: “I wish there was an acceptable synonym for ‘eyes’ that wouldn’t sound ridiculous in a book.”
Husband: “What about peepers?”
Me: 🙄
Husband: “What about lookin’ balls?”
Me: 🙄
Husband: “...What about sight squishies?”
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Hey,
#WritingCommunity
, we got the best advice of our lives last night from Micaela Coel in her Emmy acceptance speech.
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Why, when people ask how THE FAMILY PLOT is doing, do I always qualify it with “Well, I’m not a NYT bestseller”? TFP had my strongest launch to date, w great reviews in NYT, USA Today, Globe & Mail, & more, but I still do this. NO MORE! The List is not the only marker of success.
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“You are MESSED UP. I think I should sleep in another room, with a lock on it.”
—my husband, reading my WIP
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Someone on Amazon called my book “the worst book of all time.”
And that’s how I know they’ve never read A Tale of Two Cities.
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Apparently it's "performative" or "dorky" now to wear a mask outdoors once you're vaccinated? Listen, once that second dose hits, I'm still going to mask up forever because it is insane that I ever let strangers breathe on me before this. Also, I have always been a dork, thanks.
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Just a text from my husband worth one million dollars
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L O freaking L to the male authors in that circle jerk of a Guardian article recommending books by women and picking ones like Mrs. Dalloway and To Kill A Mockingbird as if they're letting us in on a big, top-secret discovery
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I have loved this job, and loved my students, and worked so hard over the past 12 years to help them succeed. But this is a line I can't cross. I imagine many teachers are making the same decision. Personally, I'm heartbroken and terrified.
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Very excited and still a little stunned that THE FAMILY PLOT is the Barnes & Noble Mystery/Thriller pick for April! Thank you so much to
@BNBuzz
for picking my bizarre little thriller. Check out all the picks here (buy one and get another for 50% off!):
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I don't read goodreads reviews to see if I might like a book; I read goodreads reviews to feel vindicated about my opinions on books that everyone seems to love and I have to DNF.
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Nancy expects me to read all of these emails and she hasn’t even read ONE of my books.
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Husband, eating croutons: “It’s so fucked up.”
Me: “What is?”
Husband: “That Peggy is a nickname for Margaret.”
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Media outlets take note: THIS is how you report this kind of news. You don’t use their dead name, as I’ve seen a few articles do.
Also: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Elliot.
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@sarakellis
So I guess, according to that guy, there’s never been a story with two people of the same gender in the same scene before...
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For the love of cupcakes please stop rating books on goodreads while the authors of said books are STILL IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING THEM
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Beyond excited to be teaming up with
@LayneFargo
and
@halley_sutton
to write a scripted podcast for
@audible_com
! NOT THAT INNOCENT is inspired by our murderous rage over society's treatment of Britney Spears—and any other woman who dares to enter the spotlight.
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Advance copies of THICKER THAN WATER are heeeeeeere!
Two sisters-in-law find themselves at painful odds when the man who connects them—the husband of one, the brother of the other—is accused of a brutal crime.
For more about the book:
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“Panties” is just the grossest word to me and it always surprises me how many people (regardless of gender, age, or occupation) use it like it’s completely cool
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Author event idea: I read an excerpt of my novel to a roomful of dogs.
That’s it. That’s the event.
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Sure, sure, play it cool and all, but LOOK AT MY NEW TWITTER HEADER, courtesy of
@AtriaBooks
!!!
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New idea: ADOPT A BOOKSHOP! All you have to do is commit to shopping at an independent bookstore of your choosing (online or in person) once a month. But you get to say you "adopted a bookshop," which sounds super official and important. Everybody wins!
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SO excited and grateful to be working with
@KaitlinJOlson
on our *fourth* book together! Thanks as always to the incomparable
@sharongracepjs
. THICKER THAN WATER, my sisters-in-law thriller, is coming at you in early 2023!
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@AudraYorkAuthor
I know he’s not worth the time of vocal effort, but I want to yell at that man, “THERE’S A REASON IT’S CALLED WOMEN’S FICTION WHILE FICTION BY MEN IS JUST CALLED FICTION.”
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HELP!!!!!!! I AM DYING!!
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True story: they once fired every teacher in my school and made us all reapply/re-interview for our jobs and only rehired about 50%. It was insane, but hey, maybe we should fire all the police and start over. Only rehire the ones who won't shoot kids or kneel on people's necks.
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What's the job you haven't worked in YEARS but still get stress dreams about? For me, it's when I was a newspaper reporter, a job I worked for only one year and left in 2007.
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What food do you never eat because you once puked it up as a kid?
For me, it’s Twizzlers.
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I'd teach from home while 60% of my students were Zooming with me from a smart board in a physical classroom and the other 40% were Zooming with me from their houses. This option was given with only a week before teachers report to school...
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Sometimes when I need a last name for a character, I just scroll my Twitter feed until someone I follow sounds about right. So if you ever find your last name in one of my books, that might be why.
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Everyone's journey is hard, but I don't like when I see authors saying how they had to submit to - gasp! - 30 agents before they got one, or were on sub for 3 whoooole months before they got a book deal as if that is a really harrowing story instead of a pretty quick timeline.
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BEHIND THE RED DOOR is officially out in the world today! It’s a psychological thriller about fear and anxiety and climbing your way out of the darkest places — and people. I hope you enjoy it!
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Woman at book fair: “What’s your book about?”
Me, giving it all I’ve got: “It’s about a true crime-obsessed family who gather to bury their patriarch only to find the remains of their long-missing brother already in the grave!!!!!!!”
Woman: “……Oh. Okay, never mind.”
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I’m so excited to share the cover of my next novel, BEHIND THE RED DOOR, which will be out from
@AtriaBooks
on August 4 and is now available for pre-order! To read the full description, go here:
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No bigger betrayal than when I say to my husband “Should we get takeout tonight?” and he says “Nah”
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@KristinRockaway
Ugh. Men who get angry about women having any ounce of success are such little dweebs.
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I'm so excited to share this rave review from
@PublishersWkly
on THICKER THAN WATER! They call it "an impressive thriller" that will "keep readers on tenterhooks" and say that "admirers of William Landay's similarly themed DEFENDING JACOB will be riveted."
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I love how we've all accepted "page-turner" as very high praise for a book, as if turning pages isn't literally how you read it.
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Half of writing for me is looking up the words I'm using to make sure I'm correct about their definition. I just looked up "hearth." Like, I know what a hearth is. I've used "hearth" before. But what if—WHAT IF—it's actually been another word for like "bowtie" this entire time??
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