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@KayAyDrew
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NYT bestselling author of YOUR BLOOD, MY BONES (out now) | THE WHISPERING DARK | IN THESE HALLOWED HALLS | Deaf AF | @AdamsLiterary | She/Her
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Last year I sat down to write a book about three former friends trapped in a farmhouse and forced to kill one another to stay alive. It’s a story about first love, friendship, grief, and growing up. And now it’s yours.
I hope you enjoy it.
Ways to buy:
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Last night the dog kept breaking into the nursery and waking the baby. She’s been sick, and I was getting so fed up with him.
Until she stopped breathing.
We spent the night in the hospital. I don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t woken her. We don’t deserve dogs.
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Opened my car door in a parking lot and a little toad hopped OUT of my car. For some reason I said “oh, there you are” as if I’d been expecting him. When I looked up there was a man halfway out of the car next to me, just staring. So I scooped up the toad and walked away.
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Not my husband calling me from the ballet studio because he can’t remember the stranger danger password and my daughter won’t go home with him 💀💀💀
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Overheard my 7yo telling my 2.5yo “you can always tell which presents are from Santa and which are from mom because mom is not good at wrapping and Santa is perfect at it” and I’m not going to lie this has really broken my brain.
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Last night I was at a patio restaurant where a man was playing live music and after an hour of my 2yo being the sole dancer / tipper he switched it over and started exclusively playing the wiggles. Sorry to everyone trying to have a normal night out, but that man is my hero.
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My dog has always eaten his meals in the mudroom but lately he’s been refusing to eat. I thought it was the brand. Then I thought he might be sick. We went to the vet. We tried new food. Nothing.
It turns out that in his old age he just wants someone to sit by him while he eats.
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In what is potentially a gross misunderstanding of Christmas in general, my 2.5yo has hidden her wallet ahead of Santa’s arrival.
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Thanks for all the well wishes, everyone. The baby is doing much better today and we are home with Henry, who bravely held the fort all night even though he is scared of the dark.
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Them: you’re a writer? wow that sounds like the most romantic job in the world.
Me, who spent four hours this morning researching agricultural zoning laws in order to write a singular sentence: yes.
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My confidence? Shot. My game? Off. I’m sitting here in the basement surrounding by wrapping paper, frozen.
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Her: that’s the rules, dad!
She’s right though.
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Now I sit on a little stool at his side while he has his breakfast in the morning. I sip my coffee and he eats his food, nubby tail wagging. Did he want me to do this all along? Did I miss a cue for ten years? Has he been lonely at meal times???
I am making up for it now 😩
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@clemmiegirlnz
The best part is that she was cold, so she got in the car and asked him to turn the heat on but then forbade him from driving until he knew the password. We had to go over how this is actually NOT protocol in case of actual strangers.
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So my 7yo finally asked for an elf on the shelf and I told her that we won’t permit fae in the house if we can’t determine whether or not they’re unseelie and now she’s determined to capture one and make deals with it. So that backfired.
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Before anyone asks, inside the wallet there is a very small pebble, a Chuck E Cheese coin, a single dollar bill, and a sparkly bobby pin.
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It does not escape me that I’ve never looking more like a bog witch than in that exact moment. Or a Disney Princess I guess it all depends on where you place warty toads on your “cute forest critter” list
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I truly cannot keep up with my notifications but please know that your kind words are seen and appreciated. I’ve been trying to slowly respond to all the beautiful anecdotes of dogs and cats acting as angels for their humans. Thanks for sharing all the goodness ❤️
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Since this thread is still doing numbers I would like to shout out the ER department at
@ctchildrens
for being literal heroes. Not just for our LO but night after night, patient after patient. They go above and beyond in their care, and it shows ❤️
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If this was a romcom we would have fallen in love.
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At the end, after we’d had ice cream, she sat back and said “it feels great to have that off my shoulders!”
And I bet it did 😩
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My six year old child approached me yesterday and told me she had something that has been haunting her for years that she needed to tell me but she was afraid I would get angry.
Reader, my mind somersaulted through so many scenarios 🧵
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No one tells you when you first have kids that 80% of your time will be holding in laughter in an effort not to invalidate your child’s very-real-to-them scenarios. And yet here I am, day after day, practicing my serious face.
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@the_5thHorsemen
He did! He said he was a parent as well. He had the classics down perfectly
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When will Hollywood listen? Actors want to make rom-coms. Viewers want to watch rom-coms. Give us rom-coms!!!! (Specifically this pairing because I would watch it so fast)
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And that’s it. That’s all.
That is what has been haunting her for two whole years 😩
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TW: ableism
I stumbled onto an Instagram thread of abled mothers discussing why they will never let their kids identify as disabled because it implies that they are “undesirable” or “less than” and when I tell you that line of thinking just makes me SO. VIOLENT.
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A while back I hosted a bridal shower and was leftover with a box of 50+ skeleton keys. I didn’t know what to do with them at first, but then I decided that every time I saw my dad, I would give him one mid-conversation and refuse to answer questions.
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Mother-in-law: I heard you got a ukulele. Can you sing us something?
Toddler: *plucks strings* MamaA just killed a man
Toddler: put a gub against his head
Toddler: pulled my finger now he's bread
Me: *wearing a Freddie Mercury shirt* I have NO idea where she learned that
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Oh hello I logged in and thought the app was glitching but it’s just this tweet.
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Still not here in any official capacity but I dropped my five year old at camp this morning and had to sit her down before going in and say, “remember what we talked about last night?”
To which she flatly replied, “no hexing kids at art camp.”
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but spurred the remainder of the class to hiss as well. As a result, she had to walk at the dreaded front of the line and hold the teacher’s hand all the way back to class.
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Can’t believe how much attention this toad tweet is still getting. I have nothing to promote at this time and I’m still not 100% sure what a SoundCloud is but this is my dog Henry and today is his birthday.
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“I’m sure,” I told her, but my stomach was in a knot.
Turns out, one time in pre-k she was feeling “a little silly” and when it was time to leave the art room and go back to the classroom, she hissed like a snake at her teachers.
And not only HISSED—
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My husband just insisted my daughter and I remember a code word in case I'm ever confronted by his clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and I'm not sure which is the real him and which is the imposter.
Some families make sure they have a fire escape plan but not us
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My toddler, pretending to be Ariel in the bath: I used to have a boyfriend named Eric but he wasn't good at swimming so he left.
Me: oh no!
T: I was very sad
T: but if he comes back I'll say go away, Eric
T: I can't go down that road again
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Just came upon my toddler shoving quarters under her pillow.
Me: whatcha doing?
T: leaving coins for the tooth fairy.
Me: oh? Idk if that’s how it works
T: yes it is. I leave coins and she gives me teeth.
Me: ...what do you need teeth for?
T: none of your business mama
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@Sarah_Schyg
I know this look! My dog gives it to me often. He’s very critical of my parenting. I’m so glad your dog was there to help ❤️
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Doing my best not to jump to “panic mode” I reassured her that whatever she had to tell me, this was a safe space and she could confide in me. We’d face it together.
“Are you sure,” she said, “it’s pretty bad.”
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woke up in the dead of night and thought “oh I need to work this detail into the story immediately”
jotted a note in the notes app so I wouldn’t forget.
the note:
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My toddler just yelled “SOCIAL DISTANCE YOU BAGS OF BONES” out the window at a group of people standing too close together for her liking and I can’t tell if I’m shocked, horrified, or proud.
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@joelle_welling
I am getting very sick of this man. He is working so fast and so hard to push a specific narrative on us and why?
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I’m not here but today I saw a male doctor for my pregnancy checkup and he told me to sip ice water when I’m feeling hungry otherwise “those extra pounds will be too hard to shed once you’ve got two of them around” and how about I just focus on growing a healthy human, BUD?
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✨ANNOUNCEMENT✨ a few years ago I sat down and decided to start writing stories with girls who hear the world the way I do—in silence.
And now in fall 2022 I get to share with you all the haunted little book of my heart.
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After everything, it turns out the thing that is going to drive me off of this app is that lady cutting her bra with scissors.
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Today is my birthday AND it’s
#DisabilityPrideMonth
AND there’s ye olde age discourse going around again? Here’s my Deaf, freshly 33yo face. I sold my book at 30, debuted at 32, and my sophomore novel comes out at 33.
I won’t lie you, so far the 30s have been my best era yet.
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My dad is a fire chief. He loves his job. I have infiltrated his station. I am currently in the process of giving out keys. Little by little, they will begin handing them to him. I am giddy with anticipation. I have never done anything so important in my life.
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Sorry but “I’m taking a huge financial risk by writing a disabled character actually” is not the heroic statement you think it is.
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Husband: How is it that you write so fluently but you literally cannot string a coherent thought together to save your life when speaking?
-My husband, defining authors everywhere.
#authorlife
#marriage
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The most accurate representation of authors I have ever seen is in New Girl where Nick Miller goes to his first book reading and says “if everybody could stop looking at me, that’d be really great.”
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One time my husband was bored at work reading our v small town police blotter & saw a report about a jogger who was chased by a rabid raccoon in broad daylight and called animal control for help and he called me and was like “this was you I f*cking know it”.
Reader, it was me.
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Freddy Carter posted his Kaz Brekker casting announcement as "Brekkin' News" and now I have to stan. I don't make the rules.
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My party trick is that my brain is full of vast, unrelated knowledge that I will never put to use!
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The real war on Christmas is my 1.5yo who, sick of hearing everyone tell her that a full-grown stranger will come down the chimney while she’s sleeping, has not yet gone to bed. It’s the middle of the night and she’s sitting awake saying “no Santa come in my house”
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@clhubes
This whole ensemble feels like something willow rosenberg from Buffy would have worn…in like 1998/1999. Which is not an insult! But definitely not what I wore in the 00s
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I was just told by someone in my life that no one cares about reading d/Deaf or HoH own voices stories, and that I'm "barking up the wrong tree."
Maybe he was right, but I've never in my life been more motivated to prove anyone wrong.
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I was literally just telling someone about this experience last night. She gave me her number at graduation and was like “call me whenever, for whatever” and so I called to tell her I published a book and she went “…oKAY? and?”
Most awkward phone call of my LIFE! Bye!
Sure, getting rejected by your crush hurts, but have you ever contacted your old school teacher who was a life-changing, Miss Honey-style mentor figure to you and found out she has no interest in keeping in touch with her adult students?
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Husband in the car: forced proximity!
Husband getting into bed at night: only one bed!!!
Husband eating the last of the leftover pizza: enemies and lovers!!!!!
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I should add that this is born out of the local lore that the yew tree out back should never be climbed, nor its berries consumed, lest you be poisoned and taken and a changeling left in your place.
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That went well. His confusion grew steadily over the weeks and then months. And then he started to expect them. So I switched it up. I had my brother give him a key. Then my one year old. Then a random guest at a family party. Now, he’s getting alarmed.
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Hi I'm a full grown adult and I'm not sure how to tell people that the reason I have a fat lip is because I was sprinting upstairs at night so the monsters wouldn't get me and I tripped on a dog toy and opted to protect the YA fantasy book I was holding instead of my face.
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Since selling a book I’ve had a weird amount of non-book people say to me “If you can do it, I can, too!” and maybe I’m inspiring them to chase after their dreams but it just never feels like it’s meant as a compliment 😪
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Where are they keys coming from? What purpose do they serve? Is EVERYONE in on it? No one is answering his question, especially not the baby. Which brings us to my grand finale.
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Apparently there's a
#DisabledPeopleAreHot
tag going around and I'm not about to enter a beauty pageant over here but I'll throw up a selfie for all the times people have said to me "but you don't *look* deaf!"
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Recently someone in my life suggested I stop writing Deaf protagonists into my books because “maybe you just have to face the fact that it’s not relatable to the majority of mainstream readers” and oh ho ho I cannot wait to prove them wrong.
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Parents who do this tend to convince themselves they are building their children up with rhetoric like “you’re not disabled, you’re beautiful and capable” as though those things cannot all be true.
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Okay wait this blew up overnight 😳
Is this the part where I tell you I wrote a book and ask you to add it to goodreads? Because I wrote a book and I’d love it if you could add it to goodreads 👉🏻👈🏻
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Before the internet comes for me, I did not make up this lore. If you know me at all, you’d know that would not have been a deterrent. I’d have eaten all the berries. Take me to the faerie courts at once.
It does keep the littles away though.
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It is an incredibly damaging approach masquerading as a loving one. Because it isn’t actually about building up disabled children. It’s about comforting abled parents.
It’s about their inability to sit with a term that makes them uneasy. And it comes at the cost of their kids.
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My child is crying because she just found out that dinosaurs are extinct.
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Little: mom I’m writing a new book
Me: tell me about it!
L: it’s about a girl and a boy cursed by a monster in the woods and one of them has to die before the next blood moon
Me: oh
Me: that sounds great!
Reader, this is the plot of my book.
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Woke up at 1am to find my six year old standing over me in the dark, furious and tearful. When I asked her what was going on, she snapped, “I’m not ready to wake up!”
Neither was I! I was minding my own business! 😩
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Does anyone else hastily floss their teeth before their appointment like they can convince the dentist they've been doing it all along?
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@aidenschmaiden
The objective was to keep the plant alive and the plant is thriving so I’d say you’ve done splendidly
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Who has two thumbs and just tried to coax a coyote in her car? This girl.
Listen. I thought it was a dog.
It.
It was not a dog.
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My most unhinged childhood story is that I started a local newspaper but it was literally just me and my friends spying on the neighbors, typing up the gossip, and then carting our red wagon door to door and selling their own dirty laundry back to them for a dollar a page.
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Okay well since this post has been viewed 3 million times (???) I fear I must once again mention that I write books
(better than I wrap presents, imho)
And you can buy them, if you’re into that sort of thing.
This is getting a lot more traction than I expected so is this where I mention that I have a book coming out about spooky forests and the dark, eldritch things that live within them? The apple doesn’t fall far from the something something.
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A little news: I’m thrilled to announce that I’m repped by Josh Adams of
@adamsLiterary
! I’m beyond grateful to Josh for sharing my vision for my spooky story about a boy who can sunder the sky and a Deaf girl who walks between worlds. I can’t wait to see where they go from here!
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We need to talk about Broadway and accessibility. Last night I saw the spectacular Moulin Rouge! in NYC. As a longtime fan of the film, I enjoyed every moment.
I wish I’d been able to pick the words out of all that glorious noise, but my caption device had next to no signal.
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If you’re reading this and feeling *personally* attacked, maybe consider asking yourself why. And then sit with those feelings.
Talk to actual disabled people. Talk to your kids. Ask THEM what terminology they prefer. And then use that.
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Little: mama how long have you been writing
Me: since I was a little girl, probably a little older than you
Little: wow
Me: isn’t that something?
Little: and you’ve only sold two books?
Little: that’s not a lot.
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Woke up to my five year old standing over me like the girl from the well in that one horror movie because she’s worried I’ll decorate the house without her for her birthday party. Reader, her birthday is in December.
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Whenever my toddler takes a bath she makes me pretend I have stumbled upon her, a mermaid, upon the rocky shores and I am interviewing her for a mermaid tell-all.
Today she said "why do you come back every day, human mom, do you have no friends?"
Excuse me I--
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Instead of a downvote button can we make it so twitter stops automatically refreshing when I’m right in the middle of reading a tweet?
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@KSwemba
I couldn’t leave him there to be squished or baked in the sun! I put him in a shady spot in the grass!
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HOW MANY TIMES ARE THE CHARACTERS IN MY BOOK GOING TO GLANCE AT THINGS STOP LOOKING AT EVERYTHING AND DO SOMETHING
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“You look tired today” yes thank you I awoke in the dawn to find my 5yo standing over me in the dark with tears in her eyes because she’s “not ready to be six” and “pretty soon I’ll be 30 and I can’t wear good costumes anymore on Halloween”
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@jeanmare_gag
I am very happy to sit with him, and it’s become our new morning routine. But I’m sad it took me so long to figure it out!
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My child has finished her novel. Complete at 5,500 words it’s a story that, in her words, “takes a dark turn by the end.”
She dictated the entire thing, plus an acknowledgements page that made me cry. She also ended it the way I am going to market my own books from here on out:
Hello my child has asked if she can dictate her novel to me and idk I feel she is plagiarizing me maybe?
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