Newmarket MP Matt Hancock gave a £37bn Covid testing contract to Jockey Club director Dido Harding, who subcontracted it to Grand National sponsor Randox, employer of Owen Paterson, whose late wife chaired Aintree racecourse. Nothing to see here, right?

BREAKING: The High Court has ruled the government acted unlawfully by letting Dido Harding run Test and Trace. Dido was given a budget of £37 billion to run a system which was a catastrophic failure, but you can rest assured absolutely nothing will happen x

Yes, let’s get them working 28hrs a day 8 days a week. That should do it! #LizForLeader

Thank goodness Margaret Thatcher privatised our energy companies, otherwise the £1.34billion profit Centrica have just made might have been wasted on ordinary people instead of wealthy shareholders. #EnergyCrisis

BREAKING: If you're concerned about your skyrocketing energy bills, you will be thrilled that British Gas owner Centrica has seen a five-fold increase in their profits x

i hate it when he does this

This is Brexit

Is it wrong to feel both horrified at the prospect of Liz Truss becoming PM and a bit excited at the potential for taking the piss?

BREAKING: Hugh Grant calls Priti Patel "the worst Home Secretary in British history", which is actually a massive understatement x

Liz Truss has just become the bookies' favourite to become Britain's next Prime Minister. Here's a reminder of some of her finest moments.

After Sunak wins fourth round of Tory leadership race, British public admits they’re ‘ready for Rishi’ in the same way they’re ‘ready for a root canal’ or ‘ready for a prostate exam’.

New series of The Weakest Link descends into chaos after contestants fail to answer a single question.

Now that MPs have confidence in me again, I assume that means I can cancel my resignation and stay on as PM. #NoConfidenceVote

BREAKING: Nadine Dorries & Boris Johnson went on a bender, then attended PMQs when they were still pissed & Nadine Dorries spent the entire time yelling "You're boring" at Sir Keir Starmer. You're probably thinking this is a joke, but it really happened x

Boris Johnson calls emergency Cobra meeting after finding 24 bottles of it in the fridge at Chequers.

As privatisation talks continue, Channel 4 confirms format for tonight’s leadership debate:

One sure sign of a great leader is when the can't find their way out of a room they are giving a speech in. #ToryLeadershipRace #Truss

BREAKING: The Tories are clamping down on benefits claimants who can't afford to eat. Meanwhile, Michelle Donelan is in line for a £16k severance payment after being Education Secretary for only 36 hours x

Let the battle commence to replace #BorisJohnson, runners and riders announced this morning

It all makes sense now. He's made Carrie a promise and for the first time ever, he's going to keep it. Boris Johnson and Carrie to host lavish Chequers wedding party as he clings on