Kristen B
@HooDoll
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Nonprofit CFO, mom, lover of puns. Owns too many/not enough shoes. Tries to make order out of chaos. Tweets reflect my views only. She/her.
Massachusetts, USA
Joined September 2009
What's the difference between a light bulb and a librarian? A light bulb stops working when it burns out.
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You know how in movies when someone is missing they’re like, “did they have a special place they liked to go, maybe to be alone?” For my wife that place is a shopping center close by that has a Marshalls, a TJ Maxx, a HomeGoods, and a Chicken Salad Chick.
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🎉 The Steven & Alexandra Cohen Foundation (@cohengive), led by philanthropist and New York Mets owner Alex Cohen, has awarded a grant of $116.2M to @LaGuardiaCC to create the Cohen Career Collective, a state-of-the-art workforce training center. https://t.co/D4tdrzmW3d
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I love kindness unless it’s a person at a four way stop waving for me to go when it is clearly their turn.
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Yearly Visit To Doctor Confirms Body Falling Apart Exactly On Schedule
theonion.com
PARKVILLE, MO—The patient having passed his annual checkup with flying colors, a visit to the doctor Wednesday confirmed that everything in local man Frank Jarvis’ body was falling apart exactly on...
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hey sorry for being so anxious earlier i had no idea everything would be fine
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Huge @mythic_quest fan and @appletv subscriber here…. I’m just saying @david_jenkins__ and @RMcElhenney would be a great duo…. #AdoptOurCrew
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my roommate and I have started texting each other like democratic fundraising messaging
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With my mother. Daddy’s funeral. He wasn’t assassinated because he wanted his children to be judged “by the content of their character.” But for dismantling racism, poverty & militarism. He wanted corrective measures to eradicate racism, not the delusion that it doesn’t exist.
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