When I’m in trouble my Christian name is Gregory One Legory.

RT @AtwinGracie2002: tony hawk's pro skater and chill?.

RT @FeralFerrell: the fastest way to lose me is to be flippant or false about emotional intimacy.

RT @MisterD78UK: "Hey my eyes are up here".*me, remembering why I stopped wearing my badass Batman belt.

RT @urmumsausername: Hey guys, not to brag, but I just went into the kitchen to. wait a sec. what did I go in there for??.

RT @SleepEatScream: Everything in moderation, including giving a fuck.

RT @herprettybones: Work beers should be a daily thing.

RT @cold_lil_heartt: kiss her where the sundress strap likes to slip off her shoulder.

RT @ericanextdooor: first date idea: you come over and fix my life.

My dating technique is “hear me out” and it’s a picture of me and we see who agrees.

RT @good_vibes_girl: dear porn industry,. please stop using infantilized women’s voices. some of us are literally disgusted by it because w….

RT @hunkybloodydory: I love a poached egg. So much better than eating your own.

RT @Dad_2_The_Bone: Lasagna should be a breakfast food.

RT @MisterD78UK: Her: The itsy-bitsy spider…. Spider-Man: I WAS IN THE POOL!.

RT @GraniteDhuine: They say life is like a box of chocolates, so leave mine alone. Fuck off and buy your own, chocolate thief!.

RT @Tobi_Is_Fab: Nobody: . My 7-year-old: Years ago none of us knew how to use TV remotes, but look at us all now. *gestures to everything*.

RT @ABaby183: Retweets don't happen for me. I'm unretweetable.

RT @kvmlho: I want to lay on the moon and be surrounded by wildflowers.

RT @jojipaints: I give myself the ick sometimes.

Driving myself to the hospital to get my broken leg fixed.

The best part of my day was coming home and sitting by the back step, watching and listening to the thunderstorm, no other sounds,the smell of fresh heavy rain and I thought to myself….fuck I’m getting old.