Dear #WhiskySanta, please may you put @Laphroaig Lore from @MasterofMalt under my tree? I've been really good this year!

Hi folks, I’m afraid it’s time for me to say goodbye. Not just leaving Twitter, but the whole show. I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left now. Thank you wonderful people, I leave this crazy world with much love in my heart ❤️

Queen declared fit to work after Atos work capability assessment

I also have a ring doorbell camera and no one delivered a parcel today so this is actually a time wasting lie. You suck @parcelforce

2020 & 2021 is a basically a double period of a subject that you hate

If this gets 20k likes, we’ll replace the paperclip emoji in Microsoft 365 with Clippy.

“What happened to your arms” season is now in full swing - reminder not to comment on or point out people’s scars please. I promise we are already very aware of them!

The CDC said that vaccinated people don’t have to wear masks and to trust the honesty of strangers and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh no

Thread

i grow more weary of #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek every year. everyone knows about mental health. “ask for help” is insulting when services are so shit. everyone loves a nice neat recovery story but no one wants to hear about chronic, upsetting, boring, debilitating mental illness

CONSIDERING SOME POST PANDEMIC ICE BREAKERS DID YOU BINGE ANYTHING GOOD? WHAT WAS YOUR COMFORT TREAT? WHERE DID YOU SCREAM WHEN THE WORLD WENT AWAY? I AM FOREVER CHANGED BUT IN A FUN, ACCESSIBLE, WAY. HOW ABOUT YOU?

Very good doggo

https://t.co/5yeztwAV2t

Thread

So 2021 is looking a lot like 2020 then. 🤷‍♀️

Doctors at @NorthMidNHS have been told to implement a hospital-wide reduction in the use of oxygen, lowering target saturation for adults to between 90 and 94%. Some patients could be set to as low as 88 per cent. Normal oxygen rate would be above 95%.