SimpleJohn🕺🕺
@DumboJohn1
Followers
544
Following
392
Media
1,738
Statuses
14,142
Do not talk to me unless you follow me. I ain't interested in your shit 🤗
Manchester, England
Joined February 2023
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Pinned Tweet
I didn't mean to tweet that on this account.
I'm back over on my original account now
@Simple_john1
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Eldest girl (16) college, doesn't have a part time job and views me as her personal cash machine.
Told her McDonald's are recruiting.
'I'm not working there !'
We had a 'little chat'.
I may have raised my voice.
There may have been tears.
She has an interview @ 9.30 🙄🙄
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Now then, if The King has invited you to his Coronation, would you take your hand out of your pocket when he walked past you 😳😳😳
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Northumberland.
Hell of a place.
Why have you not been ?
Yet still persist with your awful 2 weeks in Turkey 🤷♂️🥰
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Off to see Olly Murrs in Manchester with her friend.
Been with us 11 yrs now.
4 when she came to live with us.
Didn't properly speak to us for ages.
Her teeth had been reduced to black stumps as all she drank was full fat coke from a baby's bottle.
Happiest girl in the world
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She's had a really good day today.
Been with us nearly 4 yrs now.
Made fantastic progress.
A very, very bright girl.
Came to us late.
Three previous foster homes.
She had to leave them all.
She won't leave us
Lots and lots of trauma.
Safe now.
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So, wife needs complete bed rest.
I held her hand and told her not to worry. Said I'm going to take care of everything in my own unique way.
Tears filled her eyes and as usual, she couldn't find the words.
Waved me away but I could still hear her sobbing from downstairs 🥰🥰
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My dad is 80 tomorrow.
Big family meal.
I think there's about 60 of us going 😕
My dad was born into abject poverty.
My dad's parents didn't want him.
He was passed around the family.
My mum then arrived on the scene.
My dad should not have been the success he is.
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Everyone is being treated or has been sent home........ except my wife.
Her MRI scan has to be sent to Manchester to be interpreted. There's only us here.
My wife is asleep next to me.
They gave her a large shot of liquid morphine to neck.
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Been to collect the dogs.
'I need to talk to you about your puppy'
'I know' I said ''I'm sorry.'
He is the worst dog, ever.
Brings nothing but shame on the family.
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Went to see my old mate Sean the baker this morning.
Sean doesn't fuck about.
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We have been here for 19 hrs.
We have experienced the NHS at its most stretched.
It's broken.
It isn't the envy of the world.
The staff have busted their balls.
It's been run into the ground by the worst govt ever.
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Many of you will know how difficult it is to choose the correct words to engrave on your pet's casket.
I can clearly remember I was in floods of tears telling the receptionist what I wanted.
Will not be difficult when Fucker passes.
'An absolute bastard of a dog. Good riddance.'
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Underneath these strawberries, cream and ice cream, there's also a meringue 🕺
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Thank you to everyone who enquired about my wife and wished her well.
I missed loads of tweets as that McDonald's job tweet really clogged up my TL.
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This is my dog Fucker.
The girls hug him like a baby.
Fucker love this.
Fucker look very cute.
Mistake.
Fucker bastard.
Fucker ate another pair of my glasses today.
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Birthday here today.
Eldest girl is 16.
Been with us since she was 4.
You know these 'bad' kids ?
She's never given us 1 second of trouble.
Can be a right moody cow though 🤷♂️
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I'm one of 7 siblings.
I was born in Oldham.
My dad was a welder.
Mum stayed at home.
We had zero money.
2 holidays before I was 16. Morecambe.
Paper rounds at 14. Morning and night, 6 days a week and Sunday morning.
Saturday job at my uncle's barber's.
Then trolley boy.
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Anyway, my mum is 82 today 🥳
By all statistics, she should be dead.
Born to poor, working class, northern parents and lived in a tiny, rented home. She's fighting fit and still works a couple of hours a day at the local school I went to.
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Something very weird is happening.
New builder hired.
Turned up on time and not stopped grafting since he arrived.
Working outside.
Pissing it down now.
He's still here, working 🤔🤔
My guess - KGB 🤷♂️
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Told her he loved her but it still wasn't enough 😤😤
Stay safe lads.
They're mad as fuck 🙄🙄🙄
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I never had a pair of branded trainers.
I dreamt of Adidas gear.
I had trainers from the market.
Rola Cola.
Never dined out.
I remember being cold.
Two woodburners now 🤗
'I'm not working there !'
I'm surprised you didn't hear me bawl at her from hundreds of miles away.
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Watching George Michael on Ch 4.
Soundtrack to my youth.
Still annoys me that he's dead.
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Well done that mum
Klaus Grabowski molested and murdered a 7 year old girl in 1981 in Germany
Marianne Bachmeier, the girl's mother, smuggled a handgun into the courtroom and shot Grabowski 5 times, killing him instantly
She proudly served 3 years.
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61K
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Forgot to take a pic of my arancini starter.
Soz.
Proper stuffed now.
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No need to ever thank me and my wife for having these kids in our lives.
It's clear who benefits the most....
My tweets are there to provide an insight into the lives of children in care and some of experiences my wife and I have had at the hands of the 'professionals'
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Oi sausage
@RateMySausage
!
My phone has just reminded me of this incredible breakfast I made.
Look at it 😍😍😍
Where is my trophy 🤷♂️
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Drs have been on - they have a cancellation for my wife.
And, today is her birthday........
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Wife now awaiting a CT scan.
A&E is now rammed.
A few pissed up, high teenagers have turned up.
Bastards will not stop talking.
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My son ordered me some jam.
He threw several curve balls in that would never normally make the trolley.
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If you hear any 'expert' attributing this hot weather to global warming, please remind them that the hottest September day on record, was in 1906 🙄🙄🙄
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I wonder what she was thinking.......
Questions she frequently asks ..
When am I seeing my mum ?
Why can't I see my dad more often ?
When am I next seeing my brothers and sisters ?
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Another busy one.
Powering down with some black dub blue.
Serious gear this.
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Youngest's birthday last week.
Playing with some art stuff we got her.
I've bought shit worse than this.
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Anyway, the builder finally turned up.
He did 4 hrs then fucked off.
Work ethic like that and he'd make a fantastic financial adviser.
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Bought my wife some peonies yesterday. Who doesn't love peonies 🤷♂️
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What we have here is freshly baked bread, my wife's homemade chutney and some melted cheddar 😍😍😍😍😍
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My phone reminding me of when Paddy used to smell his old mate Max's collar and lie by the side of it 😥😥😥
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I hate this bastard dog 😤
Can't leave him for 10 seconds.
Told the wife either he goes or I'm off.
She says 'Why don't you come round for your tea next Thursday ?
Kids'll want to see you.'
🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
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I got distracted last night and forgot to show you my cake.
Apologies.
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The food is so good here.
Proper comfort food.
Son turned up with eldest girl.
Son left before us and paid 🕺🤗👍🥳
And regular viewers may recall, Tubbs is near Booths 😍😍
Off we went to Booths afterwards.
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Son keeps ordering Gousto boxes.
Feel like one o them pop stars but not that dead one from Steps.
All them RIPs and everything 🙁
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Waiting outside the dog groomers now. We arrived a little early.
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Roasted veg & garlic on a spelt and rye focaccia.
I am legend 🕺🕺
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Fucker
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So annoyed I've lost all my old friends, again 😤
I'm looking at lists of people you all follow.
I've had silly spats with many of them🙄🙄🙄🙄
Clean slate.
Anyone can follow and i'll happily reciprocate 🤗🤗🤗
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Just sat down with a fancy tea and a few cakes.
Been a busy one.
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Lots of buttered toast to the right, tomato sauce and a fancy tea.
How are you vegans doing 🤷♂️
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Walked into a bar.
'Only well behaved dogs allowed inside.
No barking allowed and dogs are not allowed on the seats.'
We're sat outside 🙄🙄🙄
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Father in law's 80th birthday meal earlier. Wife had some kind of back issue and needed an ambulance.
2 1/2 wait.
Drove to hospital.
Just been triaged.
10 hr wait now for treatment.
24 hr wait to be admitted.
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Lads, never ever dye your hair, ever.
FFS.
Right, I need some personal advice. I’m 53, I’ve got a very full head of hair with fairly good colour…..but I’m getting increasingly speckled with grey. I don’t want to go grey. What do I do? 😀
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Father's Day next week.
Fucker had better have gone all in or he's bastard going.
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Son gone with GF and eldest girl by ferry to St Malo, France for the day.
Walked into a tourist shop and bought over 2 kilos of sweets.
No price displayed.
€117😱😱😱😱😱😱
Robbing bastards.
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Hell of a day.
Home now.
Been playing with this beautiful lady.
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Article states nearly 2m adults have ADHD.
Nonsense.
2m adults have fucked up like we all do, yet can't accept they're to blame.
'It wasn't my fault, I'm ill. I'm the victim here.'
Do one, luv.
We all fail.
To fail is normal and the first step to success.
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Hell of a day here and I'm not done yet.
Semi powering down with a fancy tea and some cake 🕺
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